- Pregnancy
- Baby & Toddler
- Parents
- Getting Pregnant
- Baby Names
- Product Reviews
-
Registry
- Community
-
More
Want a personalized experience?
Download the free app
Postpartum Depression
Long, but I really need to get this out!
I hope you ladies don't mind, but I have nowhere else to go.
I'm fine during the day and when I am around my boys. And PPD isn't as bad as it was the last time. But, when I'm alone, everything comes crashing in on me. Like a cave just collapsed or something. And, then. . .I can't breathe. All I can do is think. . .
About my husband whom I have loved for five years now and whom I gave all of my firsts too. . .my high school sweetheart. I just found proof that he was unfaithful before and may be doing the same now. This thought leads to my low self-esteem.
I have an image I like to keep. Before last summer when I got pregnant again, I weighed 125-ish. And, now, I am 173lbs two weeks post-partum. 37 pounds lighter than delivery, but not where I want to be. To make matters worse, I can't fit into anything.
Then, I begin thinking about his family and how bad our relationship is and how angry I am at his mother and sister for what they've done to us. His mother threw us out on the streets from the apartment we were renting from her when I was 27 weeks pregnant and in the dead of winter.
It leads to how I am as a mom. While I know I'm a good Mom, I feel that everything bad that's happened in the past year is my fault. I was raised in a family where the woman is dominant and it's the mother's job to protect and nurture her family. And here my family is: getting on our feet at my parents', husband lost his job and we have two children. We were doing fine before. . .and, now. . .I feel as if I let them down.
Then, my mind starts racing about everything in the past (usually my wrong doings). I get anxious, angry and overwhelmed. So begins a vicious cycle until I am so exhausted from depression that all I can do is cry.
I was recently put back on Zoloft and I am hoping it kicks in soon. I need relief. Until then, I would feel better knowing I have a place to go because I feel like I have noone out here.
Warning
No formatter is installed for the format bbhtml
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Long, but I really need to get this out!
(((hugs))) You have a lot going on right now - I'm so sorry about your situation with your dh. With everything that you have going on, please don't worry about your weight (I know, easier said than done!). You are only 2 weeks pp - please let your body heal, there will be plenty of time to get back into shape. I wore maternity clothes throughout my maternity leave from work - sweat pants are your friend with a new baby!
Do you see a therapist? If not, I would encourage you to.
Good luck - and keep us posted on your progress!
Ditto. And after a couple months go by and you feel better, you should seriously rethink your relationship with your husband. From what you posted here, he doesn't sound like a nice guy and neither does his mom. Maybe you just need to be married to a better man... it sure doesn't help your self-esteem to be with someone you can't trust. I really hope you find happiness and can fully enjoy your LO