OK- a little rusty on my wedding etiquette

Jamaica_Bride

I recieved a wedding shower invite on Saturday for 08/01/10 and the wedding is 10/10/10. Seems reallllll.y realy to me...or am I just rusty as hell when it comes to this stuff???

jettagurl

WAY early.  6-8 weeks for wedding invite, sometimes up to 10 weeks if it is a major holiday weekend.  The shower invite should go out after the wedding invite (even just a couple days), and typically about 3 weeks before the shower.  BUT, since the shower is 2 mos before the wedding, they're breaking all sorts of rules.  Still a shower invite 3 mos early is re-donk.  

groovygrl

Eh, to me who cares? It gives ppl more time to plan & mark their calendars. Summer is tough, people make tons of weekend plans so if you only got it 3 weeks ahead, it is pretty likely a lot of ppl would have conflicts. 

CleoKitty

groovygrl:

Eh, to me who cares? It gives ppl more time to plan & mark their calendars. Summer is tough, people make tons of weekend plans so if you only got it 3 weeks ahead, it is pretty likely a lot of ppl would have conflicts. 

Exactly. I need as much notice as possible for these kind of things because my weekends book up pretty quickly. Since when is giving lots of advance notice of an event considered in poor form?

Jamaica_Bride

Never said it was in poor taste or form. Just saying that it's really early- that's all.

Hell, I didn't even have a formal wedding so I have no clue when it comes to this stuff.

#6

I would love to know as early as possible so I can ask off from work, line up child care and find an outfit.   I work on weekends so I have to ask off at least 4wks in advance.  

That is sort of early but hey, at least people will have time to plan.  My only problem would be if people forgot by the time August/October rolls around. 

I think a Save the Date would have been better in this case and then send out the formal invites for both when you are supposed to.   

luckyluvr

Maybe the couple figured it was going to be one of those extra popular wedding dates (10/10/10), so they're "staking their claim" on guests early. I agree w/ PP that STD would have been a more logical choice this soon in advance, so people won't forget.

Mrs.Tony

It's a little early. I had one recently in November and the wedding wasn't until April! I was shocked but then found out they bought a house and assume they wanted all their loot!!

jettagurl

Here's what the almighty theknot.com says....

(for bridal shower)

1 Month Before

• Assemble and address invitations. (Include information about the couple's registries. And, if it's a theme party, make sure to provide proper gift-giving instructions.) 
  
• Mail invitations.

(for wedding invite)

Q. How far in advance should you send wedding invitations? What is the proper date to ask for the reply card?
A. Ideally, invitations should go out six weeks before the wedding -- that gives guests plenty of time to clear their schedules for the day and make travel arrangements if they are out-of-towners. It also lets you make the RSVP date a little earlier -- say three weeks before the wedding date -- so you can get a final head count and start making a seating chart (if you'll have one) before the final-week-before-the-wedding crunch begins. At the very latest, guests should receive wedding invitations six weeks in advance, and you should get responses back two weeks before the big day.

 

 

Sure you want people to come to your shower and wedding, but sending them  that early just seems silly - like they are trying to make the next 5+ months all about them.....as if you'll spend the entire summer thinking about their events.  If you are already good friends/close family with the bride/groom, you'll likely know the date already and be able to plan accordingly without an invite in hand.  If you're not that close, and its more of an obligatory invite, well, who really cares if you make it, KWIM?  Maybe it's just me.  

hopefulmom

I beleive the "etiquette" rules we used for our DD's wedding (and shower) said for wedding invites 6-8 weeks depending on how many are out of town.  She actually had 3 wedding showers and they started in July (wedding was first of October).  The shower invites went out about 4 weeks before the showers.  Wedding invites went out 6 weeks before.  She had a LOT of out-of-towners and actually sent Save the Dates out in January (a couple weeks after the holidays were over). 

IMO...if I get an invite (especially for a shower, which is no where never as important as a wedding) too early I will forget it!  It's happened and then I end up having to mail a gift!