She called me big - why do I feel guilty...

raecate

for calling her out on it?! This is my MIL I speak of. The first thing she said when she came over today is - you look big! I said, pregnant women don't like to be called big, in fact most women don't like to be called big. She immediately said she was sorry and seemed to feel bad and then said I looked really good. Why do I feel bad? I'm 37 weeks and she hasn't seem me for a few months so I'm sure I do look big to her, but why don't people get that WE DON'T LIKE TO BE CALLED BIG!?

MWoodside

Eh.  I think being called big is just par for the course at this point.  People say my belly is huge all.the.time.  I don't even think about it & just move on.  You probably feel guilty b/c you snapped at her something that is totally normal for someone to say at this point.

Lauryn216

Haha my mom does that all the time. I'm always like, you really know how to make me feel good about myself, mom!

I wouldn't feel bad. I mean, not only is it obvious that no one likes to be called big, plus you are pregnant and understandably on edge. I know I will say what's on my mind much quicker these days with all of these raging hormones!

MNgirl326

I don't really care if people say I am getting big because the truth is, I am.  Most women do look big at this late stage in the game.

I try not to take what people say to heart. Most of the time they don't mean it as an insult.....

Qmommy

I don't mind being called big (while pregnant).  They're not calling me fat and I know that they're talking about the baby bump going on.  

Don't feel guilty about snapping at your MIL.  It happened, she apologized for making you feel self conscious, and you two moved on in the visit.  You can't change the past so let it go and move forward to have a wonderful Sunday!   

taylorsue00

i get that too. i was asked if i was carrying twins at 20 weeks. made me a feel like crap tho, cause i'm hardly 5 feet tall and all this baby weight makes me look like a beach ball! i've always been a bit annoyed with my weight cause im so short, weight shows more i guess. BUT i do think the term 'big' or 'huge' just comes naturally said to a pregnant woman. we can't take it critical, i mean we are huge in the belly right? haha.

Maria Agnesa

Don't feel guilty!

Oh, and I actually like when people call me big because for the first 22-24 weeks everyone kept saying "how tiny you are" "are you sure your healthy?" () So when people say "wow your belly is so big" I LOVE it! Hehehe! 

Your in your 3rd tri... you're carring a baby inside you... you're SUPPOSED to be big!

 

rlscheck

I get that from family and friends too since they don't see me that often.  I know they don't mean that I'm fat.  Women especially when they are excited about a pregnancy love to see big pregnant bellies.  I just chalk it up to them being excited that we're getting closer to the big day!

CAMbaby10

I went to get my hair done yesterday and my hairdresser asked me if I was "about to pop". So I told her that I have about 3 more months to go and she said: "Wow, you are going to be so miserable. You will be huge and it's going to be hot!" I just kind of smiled and changed the subject but I really wanted to say something.

Chickpea2010

I'm sensitive about this - probably because I've always been sensitive about my weight but mostly because I'm pretty private/shy. So I don't really care for people to comment on my body in any way - even when I lost weight, I didn't really like it when people would talk about it--it just makes me really uncomfortable for some reason.

I just don't really understand it, anyway. It's kind of a given. Pregnant women get bigger. Why comment on it? I had someone tell me the other day, "you are looking very pregnant today." Well, yes. I am pregnant. But thank you for noticing?

 

taylorsue00

Chickpea2010:

 I had someone tell me the other day, "you are looking very pregnant today." Well, yes. I am pregnant. But thank you for noticing?

 

my mother says that to me allllll the time. wth is that supposed to mean? lol a nice sly way of saying i'm look big? haha

Chickpea2010

taylorsue00:

Chickpea2010:

 I had someone tell me the other day, "you are looking very pregnant today." Well, yes. I am pregnant. But thank you for noticing?

 

my mother says that to me allllll the time. wth is that supposed to mean? lol a nice sly way of saying i'm look big? haha

Right?! Then the person who said it backpedaled and said, "but in a good way!"

OK, you let me know when I look pregnant in a "bad" way, 'kay?

Disclaimer: this is one of my super annoying coworkers, so she could walk up to me and tell me the sky is blue and I'd be irritated...it's not her, it's me. Well, it's a little bit her.

taylorsue00

Chickpea2010:

taylorsue00:

Chickpea2010:

 I had someone tell me the other day, "you are looking very pregnant today." Well, yes. I am pregnant. But thank you for noticing?

 

my mother says that to me allllll the time. wth is that supposed to mean? lol a nice sly way of saying i'm look big? haha

Right?! Then the person who said it backpedaled and said, "but in a good way!"

OK, you let me know when I look pregnant in a "bad" way, 'kay?

Disclaimer: this is one of my super annoying coworkers, so she could walk up to me and tell me the sky is blue and I'd be irritated...it's not her, it's me. Well, it's a little bit her.

 

yup... word for word! some people just have to be careful what they say to a pregnant woman! haha

KeepingFaith

I understand how you would have snapped at her.  I LOVE my belly, but I still dont like being called big.  I dont know how I was before I was pregnant(I hope I wasnt like that) but I know now I will always watch what I say.  I feel great most of the time but there are some days where I am just uncomfortable and the last thing I want to hear is how big I am!

Its nice that she said sorry though! 

The Future Mrs. Rhodus

Yeah my soon to be MIL has 0 etiquette when it comes to diarrhea of the mouth. Every time I see her its either "oh my goodness your big" or "what do you mean she looks the same, look at that stomach!"

Luckie519

oh, I totally relate!!!  I am so sick of people saying "Oh, are you having twins?" or "Are you about to pop any minute?"  Most of the women I work with know I am due in July. 

And it seems like when they ask about popping any minute and I say "Nope, not till July."  They follow it up with "Twins?"  Which they know I am not having twins, so why they even say it, I don't know.

 Most of the women I work with are older and know better.  Did they like having people say that to them when they were pregnant?

When it comes to my MIL, she has been rubbing my stomach since I was like 2 months pregnant and I wasn't showing, which I understand she is excited, but it's just odd to me.  Oh well.  I feel like if one more person comments about me being big, I am gonna lose it!!