would you announce this early?

nikinikinine

maybe because I'm still in the trenches this post makes no sense to me. But I'm wondering why you would tell anyone at 6 weeks that you are pg, let alone what you were having? Especially when it's multiples.

Have I just been cycling too long to be happy about pregnancy?

I just keep thinking of Kiki, LCB, sweetcaroline, etc. etc. The first tri is so up and down. I wouldn't want to have to update people on this stuff so early.

I guess I'm too jaded to feel secure in anything these days.

Me&Mr.T

The only person I would tell is probably DH and maybe our parents, but I wouldn't tell friends and extended family that early!

2006july15bride

I'm getting "page not found" but I have a feeling I know what you are talking about.  Personally, I think, so long as noone you know IRL will recognized you, it is ok to announce anything on here.  I worry that too many people I know IRL know about my IVF (DH and I couldn't keep it a secret from the people who make our schedules at work bc we needed all that time off).  I now feel I'll be forced to announce early to some if I am KU because they will be expecting it. Thank goodness the majority of our family doesn't know.  At least I can still keep it quiet until the end of 1st tri with them.

gidge

I can't get the link to work, so I can't comment on the specific post.  BUT - I think there might be certain people I tell a little earlier than others (those that know how awesome our treatments have turned out).  In general, I'm keeping it close to home for the first tri or longer if possible.

 

kimarino13

I have a feeling I know what post you are talking about too, and .

But anyway, I actually did tell my boss at 6 weeks, but that is only because he knew about our IVF/FET cycles and knew when betas were and all of that.  But everyone else found out at almost 12 weeks, which was still too soon for my comfort, but it was FIL's 60th birthday party and some family members spilled the beans to everyone there.  

LuvWIfootball

SIL announced her pregnancy only days after first POAS.   She had PCOS and was using meds + TI.  I'm guessing she never checked out any of the Bump boards, or she would have known to stay quiet a little longer.  I was very worried for her, but luckily things turned out okay.

I was just as naive my first pregnancy and told everyone.  My missed m/c at 13 weeks has taught me never to do that again.  Dealing with a m/c is hard enough.  Having to explain to all those who knew you were pregnant is like reopening that wound every time.

nikinikinine

 this post

stupid bump won't let me edit OP. 

GenRN45

general public? Absolutely not. But i'll be honest, just about anyone who knew about the IVF was told really early, because they knew about the IVF. So, our parents knew, my aunt who had IF, my sister, and a few very close friends.

Those were also the people I would need to support me if something happened.

Unfortunately, i've had to tell a few people at work also, because there are patients I can't expose myself to, and things I can't do anymore.

But at this point, our group of people who know is still rather small, and we really don't want to tell anyone else until we're out of 1st tri.

We actually have a BBQ planned for the first weekend in June, (will be 13 1/2 weeks), when we plan on telling the rest of our close friends... those who didn't know about the IVF. One of those girls I'm going to tell a little earlier, because she's dealing with secondary IF, and I don't want to throw it at her in front of 20 other people. I want to give her a while to absorb before we announce.

schoolsoutbride

I would tell close friends and family.  Basically anybody I would tell about a miscarriage.  I wouldn't tell the world, though.

nikinikinine

GenRN45:

general public? Absolutely not. But i'll be honest, just about anyone who knew about the IVF was told really early, because they knew about the IVF. So, our parents knew, my aunt who had IF, my sister, and a few very close friends.

Those were also the people I would need to support me if something happened.

Unfortunately, i've had to tell a few people at work also, because there are patients I can't expose myself to, and things I can't do anymore.

But at this point, our group of people who know is still rather small, and we really don't want to tell anyone else until we're out of 1st tri.

Gen, pretty much everything you said here is what I'd do.

It's the telling 'strangers on the street' kind of thing that boggles my mind. 

QuiltingBee

She can't count, either....her sig says she's having triplets, and she's telling people she's having twins.  Am I missing something?

GenRN45

nikinikinine:

It's the telling 'strangers on the street' kind of thing that boggles my mind. 

I agree completely. I haven't even told my family doctor yet (he's known me for 22 years, and will be THRILLED) because i don't want to UN-tell him. You know?

GenRN45

QuiltingBee:

She can't count, either....her sig says she's having triplets, and she's telling people she's having twins.  Am I missing something?

I'll admit - i'm confused too.

theworms

only a few people know IRL know that we cycled again and they have taken oaths not to tell anyone or else face my wrath. 

my parents won't know until we have a few u/s and everyone else after 1st tri or later. 

to each his/her own i guess

DrVWife

I guess I am in the minority....I find no problem with this.  We have been very open about our struggle with IF and our first IVF with friends and family.  I have updated our blog all along the way during our IVF...everyone knew when I got my BFN.  Everyone will know when I get my BFP.  I look at it as more support....and god forbid that something happens in the first tri....they will be there for me for that too.  I am a person who wears their emotions on their sleeve...people can read me like an open book.  It would be pointless to try and hide our highs and lows during this.

It looks like this poster also had/has IF issues and she may have been very open about her struggles as well.  To each their own.

kimarino13

GenRN45:

QuiltingBee:

She can't count, either....her sig says she's having triplets, and she's telling people she's having twins.  Am I missing something?

I'll admit - i'm confused too.

Her latest u/s (after that post) showed trips.  Identicals and a fraternal.

I believe this is the girl who tried selling her baby's name on Ebay, no?  I tried asking her but she ignored me.

nikinikinine

DrVWife:

It looks like this poster also had/has IF issues and she may have been very open about her struggles as well.  To each their own.

DRV - I am an open book about IF. I was an open book about our first IVF, consequently I had to be an open book about our IVF pregnancy. I went through beta hell, followed by an early m/c at 6 1/2 wks.

This IVF I only told my mom and DH's parents that we're cycling. I post about it on my blog, but I think only 5 ppl I know IRL read that. The rest are girls from this board or whathaveyou.

Maybe going through an early loss is what's changed me? 

DrVWife

kimarino13:

GenRN45:

QuiltingBee:

She can't count, either....her sig says she's having triplets, and she's telling people she's having twins.  Am I missing something?

I'll admit - i'm confused too.

Her latest u/s (after that post) showed trips.  Identicals and a fraternal.

I believe this is the girl who tried selling her baby's name on Ebay, no?  I tried asking her but she ignored me.

 

Okay now that is crazy!

BRSaugust20

kimarino13:

GenRN45:

QuiltingBee:

She can't count, either....her sig says she's having triplets, and she's telling people she's having twins.  Am I missing something?

I'll admit - i'm confused too.

Her latest u/s (after that post) showed trips.  Identicals and a fraternal.

I believe this is the girl who tried selling her baby's name on Ebay, no?  I tried asking her but she ignored me.

Kim - that is her!  100% positive about that.

Kiki11

If things end up working out, a huge part of me wants to put off announcing it for as long as I absolutely can.  It's just too terrifying.  I can't imagine announcing at 6 weeks.  I envy people who feel secure enough to announce that early. 

nikinikinine

kimarino13:

I believe this is the girl who tried selling her baby's name on Ebay, no?  I tried asking her but she ignored me. 

yes. I think it was the baby's middle name though LOL.

 

juliannat

I'm way too jaded. Before IF and m/c I always thought I would wait until end of frist tri, other than my dad and grandmother and maybe my close aunt (who is like a mom to me).

Now with IF...a couple close friends know about it so they know about betas. But anyone who does not know we are cycling...um no. And work - we own the company so I wouldn't tell a soul until I am so fat they start to guess.

mrslovebug

Exactly what Gen said.  I won't be telling my grandma (who lives with my parents) until after my beta.  We won't be telling his grandparents or any aunts, uncles, cousins, friends etc. until we are out of the first tri. 

I didn't even want to tell our parents after I POAS, but my dad called me while I was crying and thought something was wrong, so then we had to tell his mom (his dad was working).  Our siblings know because they live home, and my few closest friends because all of these people know what we are going through and will be supportive should anything happen.

LCB34

I'm pretty sure you know my answer to this question!

I will say that our very close friends (around 5-6 people) knew about the triplets - I just needed to tell my close girlfriends and have someone to talk about.  To this day, I am still astounded by the rally of support during our darkest days after our loss. 

So, I am glad they knew but, I would never be comfortable telling the general public about multiples until I was much further along.  Even now  we still haven't told people we aren't close to - like our neighbors - they have absolutely no clue I am even pregnant.

 

cswee123

Jaded, I am for sure.  The only people we'll tell is my sister, my bestie, and h's cousin (the only people that know of our struggles).  We'll tell everyone else when I'm out of the first tri.

I'm so easily annoyed by people who annonce their pregnancy IRL early on.  My SIL recently announced her BFP before the stick could even dry then went on to exaggerate every pregancy symptom at 4 wks.  I guess I'm just bitter...

kekis

Ah, to be so naive again.  After being the same when we got pg the first time, I learned that "untelling" is a b1tch.  I would never wish that on anyone.  My DH would know + a few family members that know what's going on.

Mrs.Kiltlifter

I would never tell that early.  I just feel the other shoe could drop.  With that said at 11 weeks we will tell family of our little surprise on Mother's Day. They get it a week early because it is one of the few days I will have my mom, grandma, aunts, and cousins together.  It is hard to keep the secret but fear overrides. 

Shelley-Bean

There were some people I told early on because they knew I was cycling (my boss was one of them).  I'm now 10 weeks, and I did tell friends and family once I hit double digits.  I used to think I would be very diligent not to say anything until 2nd tri, but DH and I both have big mouths.  I was jaded and nervous for a while - too many "what if's" ran through my mind.   

Amie8301

I was an open book with IVF #1. I told just about everyone in my life. I wrote in my blog and answered questions.... all the time. When we start cycling for IVF#2 I will be keeping my mouth shut! The first time around I needed all the support and prayers, but after a while it was was way too overwhelming and I couldnt take it back. If (fingers crossed) IVF#2 works, we'll tell those closest to us and then wait until after 1st tri to announce to e'one else.

albjag

Ok, I have replied to this post twice and it didn't show up.

Kimarino- you are right she is the one who auctioned off her baby's name to get $ for treatments!  I recognized her right away, and knew she did something fishy regarding asking for $-

I tried to google detective but failed.

 

GenRN45

albjag:

Kimarino- you are right she is the one who auctioned off her baby's name to get $ for treatments!  I recognized her right away, and knew she did something fishy regarding asking for $-

OMG are you kidding me?

Did she actually get money for it?

Sunshine05

I'm sure if you search her s/n and the word ebay on google (site:thebump.com), it will pop up with the post "you are about to lose all respect for me." 

nikinikinine

Sunshine05:

I'm sure if you search her s/n and the word ebay on google (site:thebump.com), it will pop up with the post "you are about to lose all respect for me."

thanks for the tip!

LINK

she also "donated" half of her eggs at ER from what I remember to fund IVF#1, that though, is at least more respectable. 

AimeeL85

There are two people I would tell as soon as I got two lines, they are my best friends and know about our IF and have been right by my side through all of it.  Other than that, family and close friends won't know until 12 weeks and everyone else probably not until 16...

kimarino13

nikinikinine:

Sunshine05:

I'm sure if you search her s/n and the word ebay on google (site:thebump.com), it will pop up with the post "you are about to lose all respect for me."

thanks for the tip!

LINK

she also "donated" half of her eggs at ER from what I remember to fund IVF#1, that though, is at least more respectable. 

LMAO.

And weren't there people trying to write into Oprah to try to get her $$$ that way?  For some reason people wanted to help fund her IVF, like she's the only person in the world to need IVF.

Good times.

CJ71903

There are only a few close family members that know that we went through IVF so those people are the ones that we told right away that we are expecting.  The rest will have to wait until my second trimester to find out. 

nikinikinine

kimarino13:

LMAO.

And weren't there people trying to write into Oprah to try to get her $$$ that way?  For some reason people wanted to help fund her IVF, like she's the only person in the world to need IVF.

Good times.

Yes, yes, yes. Now I remember.

Ahhh, good times indeed.

Happy Sunday. 

ccbanana

I'm so late to this post but i just want to say... yes.  Yes, she wanted all of the GP board to get her on Oprah to talk about IF so that Oprah would donate IVF $ for her.  She also thought maybe Pepsi would buy the middle name of her first child on ebay, name it xxx Pepsi xxx and that would be worth it.

Le sigh. 

susanc07

she makes me want to puke.

and of course she would end up PG with triplets.

::headdesk::