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Babies: 9 - 12 Months
Had to Give DD her First Time Out!
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Re: Had to Give DD her First Time Out!
LOLOLOLOLOL. You don't know what you are talking about.
To be clear: I don't think she is harmed by being put in timeout. My argument is that there are more effective means of changing undesired behavior.
ETA: re-direct re-direct re-direct re-direct re-direct re-direct re-direct re-direct re-direct re-direct re-direct re-direct re-direct re-direct
Starting age appropriate discipline is key. Timeouts for a 11 month old do not work. My older kids are great. They get complimented all the time for their behavior. I was not giving them time outs at 11 months.
::sigh:: how many times do I have to say it!!??
DS already knows algebra!
Why are you worked up now? Because some people pointed out that your daughter, while brilliant, is not developmentally able to comprehend timeouts? Take a deep breath. Stop patting yourself on the back for being the queen of discipline and LEARN something.
This exactly. I'm not sure if it's the route that I will chose when my child is that age, but by no means do I feel like it was innappropriate.
LOL. Redirecting a 2 yo for hitting will make a brat, but not an 11 month old who is hitting to learn cause and effect, not out of anger. There's a difference
I'm not trying to make the OP feel bad... just pointing out that putting a baby in time out is like giving an adult directions in another language and then getting mad or saying "you lose!" when they don't follow the directions.
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TTC since 8/13 - diagnosed difficulty conceiving due to LP defect. Took vitamin B and Vitex Berry to help lengthen.
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BFP 11/14
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There is no line to draw with an 11 month old. They don't know when they have overstepped boundaries. Because they don't understand what boundaries are or if they are doing something wrong. Discipline is fine. If the child understands right from wrong.
I'm not sure at this age your DD was able to fully understand that "because I did X, Y happens."
She was probably confused as to why she was being put in the corner.
I agree that the 11 mo old won't get a time out, but the whole "redirect" thing annoys the sh!t out of me. Not so much at this age, but when kids are older. I cannot stand how so may parents/caretakers insist on "redirecting" instead of letting the child know that their behavior is not okay, and will not be tolerated.
I worked in a preschool and I had to hear this redirection crap all the time. And when out in public I have to see the consequences of this PC, lets not be direct, child-rearing movement. Ugh, the thought of having to deal with this when DD has playdates and such is totally not something I'm looking forward to.
The point is that a time out will not teach an 11 month old appropriate behaviors. They do not have the intellectual capacity to understand this concept. She is teaching her nothing by sticking her in the corner.
Look...I'm not condoning anything. Just kinda finding it funny that everyone is making such a big deal out of this.
Ah, the good ol' days.
They just don't make families like they use'ta.
I agree. DS hits but I don't react just yet cause he doesn't know what he's doing.
I doubt this was traumatic for your LO, so don't sweat it! It was probably just confusing. As others said, she was likely trying to communicate that she didn't want the drink, since she doesn't have the words to do that, yet.
Hold off on time outs until they make sense to a child...around 2 years old. Younger children don't have the concept of what they are being punished for.
Good luck!
11 mos is too young for a time out. What would make you think this would be ok?
I also have a "feisty" LO. We prefer to call him spirited, not angry or naughty or anything like that. He has no concept that his actions are inappropriate. (Though sometimes I think he knows he's being mischevious by his little smirk)
So, the only form of discpline we use at this time is redirection. I also say, "No, that's not for Logi," , "we don't do that," or something like that, but I don't think he "gets" it yet. A time out for an 11mo old is ridiculous. It accomplishes nothing.
Like in the 50's? Now that was a good era, right NV40?
Hee-hee!
You don't have a clue. Redirection for older infants is NOT the reason there are so many "misbehaving brats" out there. We are talking about an 11mo old, not a 3 year old who can understand the concept of a time out. Redirection is absolutely appropriate at this age.
LOL! I had almost forgotten about that. Has "it" been around lately?
I think everyone needs to simmah down.
She didn't hurt her daughter. She practiced a technique that has absolutely no affect (effect?) on an 11 month old. Big deal. Now that she was provided good tips (thanks CityPlanner for the links) she knows that a time-out won't work until 18months.
Not to my knowledge. I was just wondering earlier where "it" was to back a certain other poster up on the "rights" of people to drive around with their babies in their laps.
AHHH! "He" was awful but I haven't seen "him" around in a while. Maybe "he" got the hint...
I don't have a clue,,,hmmm???
I never said "Redirection for older infants is the reason for misbeahving brats". I said redirection period. In my second post I elaborate on the subject. And really, I acknowledged the fact that an 11 mo won't get the concept of a time out, but go ahead call me clueless if it makes you feel better.
So it's not the decision that I would have made but I don't think it was a bad one, it was your method of parenting. Clearly it's not the decision some other people would have made. But you did what you judge is right for your child, no one got hurt and it's in an effort to raise her well.
I think there's a lot of people who so easily say 'I don't judge other people's parenting styles, I know they are different than mine and I respect that'. But then something like this comes up and you find that's a lot of lip service BS. She sat her kid down for 30 seconds. Perspective.
LOL!
Eh, you did say that redirection is the reason there are so many misbehaving brats today. And the OP is about an older infant. So, to what else would you have been referring? ::scratches head::
And for good measure: redirection redirection redirection redirection
See, this is where I actually get on the "the world today is overly PC" bankwagon. Her good intentions, the fact that no one is hurt, her "right" to make a decision for her own child don't add up to making this a good choice of discipline. And, while the child isn't emotionally hurt, they sure are probably confused. Their mom forced them to sit in a corner in such a way that they hit their head into the wall (even though it wasn't really hurt) while trying to wriggle away. Sure, doing this once isn't doing any long term damage. But, if we all nod our heads and say "I'm not going to judge you. You make the decisions for your own child. Kids need to be disciplined", then we give our tacit approval to this. And, she'll do it again. And again. And the 11, 12, 13 month old is STILL not going to get it because they are only 11, 12, 13 months old and really can't get it. And the mom is going to continue to think that she has an angry, willful child who is continuing to disobey her even though she knows better. And that is a screwed up relationship for a parent and a child to have.
She can make her own decisions for her child. That is her "right." But, I hope she reads some of those links I posted and adjusts her expectations and methods accordingly.
To add to this - toddlers throwing tantrums are NOT thinking clearly. When a toddler is throwing a tantrum, you can't set them down and discipline them because they aren't even "there" - their little brains are going so haywire you can't reason with them. Discipline should be saved for misbehavior and intentionally disobeying. Not tantrums.
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Doubtful. She doesn't have the capacity to understand that a) she's sitting in a corner and b) the corner is being used as a punishment tool. If anything, she was probably pissed that she was sitting when she really wanted to crawl/walk to play with a toy. Even if she did experience some level of "confusion", it wasn't enough to have affected her in the short or long term. DD has probably experienced the same "confusion" when she's on the floor playing with her toys quietly and I pick her up to put her in the crib while I go use the restroom. I'm sure she felt the why the heck am I in my crib and as soon as she's out of her crib, the moment has passed.
It's really not that serious.
Effect. YWIA ::shrugs::
I agree with you. The single instance is not. Repeatedly, where the child is like "Weird, mom stuck me in a corner again, when can I go play?" while the mom is thinking "Well, I have done an admirable parenting job by showing boundaries to my child" is a dysfunctional relationship. The ongoing pattern is a serious problem.
Not serious in the sense that we should all take to our cellars and stock up on canned tuna fish. But to an 11 month old who is being labeled angry for doing what 11 month olds do, it is a serious matter.
Not that there needs to be any more posts on this thread, but I think taking the child out of the situation where they are doing something you don't like IS a form of redirection. I understand that at that age she probably doesn't understand the coorelation between her action and the punishment. I do know it can work wonders when DS is having a meltdown to take him out of the situation, let him change focus and come back to play with a shifted attitude. I see nothing wrong with that and I think there is a lot of overraction going on in this post. It is not going to hurt her child to sit in a quiet place for 30 seconds and come back and play.
And, my DS is only 9 months and he definitly knows the word no. Doesn't mean he alwasy listens to it, but it is a work in progress.