Speaking of ripping a child away from a mother
MrsHK
member
This is the story I have on my mind tonight.
While we were fostering, SIL hooked me up with her friend who also fosters. Sara (name changed) fosters about 9 children in her home at a time and tried to adopt them permanently whenever possible. She had two siblings in her home since they were 2 & 4yo. Two years later they were still thriving and doing fantastic in her home. CPS picked up the kids one day to bring them to a visitation with their BM. While there apparently CPS decided it was alright to return the kids to their BM. Sara had no opportunity to say good-bye.
Just three months later Sara learns that CPS again had taken custody of the siblings, now 4 & 6yo. Did they return the kids to Sara? Nope, they placed them in another random foster home. What happened there? The 4yo drowned in the pool when they were left unattended to play outside. Not only did the 4yo pass away, but his sister witnessed the whole thing.
This is why DH is scared to foster again. I can't imagine everything Sara is going through. I'm hoping she can get custody of the little girl back. Stupid CPS is just not organized and put together enough.
Re: Speaking of ripping a child away from a mother
I'm not surprised. Illinois CPS is pretty jacked up. DH's aunt used to work for them and has little faith in their ability to help kids the way the system is set up right now. She adopted the girl from her hardest case.
That's a really horrific story. I can't imagine what that poor child is and has gone through!
My mom was abused by her mother, and her dad left when she was 6 and she never saw him again. She said that no matter how scared she was of her mom and no matter how much she hated her mom, when she was hurt or scared she always cried for her mom. No doubt that no matter what the situation, that bond never goes away...though in some cases with some kids...they do stop crying for mom.
I agree but this wasn't IL. This was NM's screw up.
Oh lovely, so there's more than one state failing children of bad situations. Awesome *please note...that statement was dripping with sarcasm*
My SS's neighbor called CPS in thier state to report his BM for neglect and sexual abuse. Turns out that my SS at 4yo was being forced to perform oral sex on an older boy (son of BM's dealer/friend). My dh, the bio-father, was never notified of the report. He found out form the neightbor who tracke dhim down and told him. CPS decided not to investigate th sexual assualt on the grounds that it was "two minors". WTF? When my husband called and tried to get a copy of the complaint and reports he was told that because he was not the one involved (i.e. the complaint was not against him) he could not get any of the paperwork. How is it that a bio parent can't get info on a CPS investigation dealing wiht their own child? Anyway, unfortuanelty at the time we had a crappy lawyer who never filed a single thing for my husband in regards to custody changes (depsite being told to). So BM retained primary custody and we have been fighting for custody for 18 mos now. The last thing you ever want to hear from your SS when you are tucking him in is, "XXXX usually licks my pee-pee at night." And that was supossedly 2 months after mom claimed she cut off contact between SS and abuser.
I'm sorry but CPS sucks all over the country, whether you are the foster parent, the abuser or the victim. It is up to family and friends, neighbors to watch out for the children. We have to stand up for them, we can't leave it to some government entitiy.
I don't believe that CPS does enough to protect the children in our country no matter what state. I think they should get more government money in order to have more employees with more training available to them and standards should be raised. They are called Child Protective Services and if they are not doing just that, than they should change their name. It's a sad truth and it is the children who suffer. Things like this just p*ss me off. These people could be heroes if only they did what truly needs to be done to save the children. I have also known for them to say someone is a founded child abuser when that is the furthest from the truth. The system is severely broken and needs to be fixed quick.
Ironically, the same week the local paper ran a story about CPS. An internal investigation into the department had been opened because in the first 30 days of the year 7 children had died who had open cases with CPS. So sad. At this point it is "too late" to try to push the CPS case. BM moved to a new state and the one good thing is that her IL are down the street and we know they are good, stable people. And in the new state SS is physically removed from the abuser. We should have a custody hearing in a few months and due to BM poor behavior we actually have a chance at reversing custody. BM refuses to take SS to counseling so one of our first priorities if we get custody is to get him to a therapist and make sure he is ok emotionally/mentally.
Thank you for the thought.