Postpartum Depression
scarletd4509
I just read your follow up post regarding APD and it was so comforting to know that i was not alone. I like you tried for a year of if treatments and finally got pg after my 3rd ivf.i have been so anxious lately and sometimes cant talk about being pregnant. I take zoloft now and i have an appt tomorrow to see a pyschiatrist that handles perinatal anxiety/antepartum issues. I am so glad i. Am going bc i dont wont to spend the next 8 months of pg feeling scared about everything. If you dont mind sharing, can you tell the meds they put you on during pg and after? Pm me if you dont want to post it. Thanks so much
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Re: scarletd4509
Hi!
My APD was the hardest thing I have ever been through. I resented the pregnancy so much and felt horrible shame for feeling this way when it was something I wanted so much. the anxiety was crippling and I felt like such a failure as a mom. I was so afraid i would not love my babies.
before being pregnant i was on effexor. i weaned off when i found out i was pg and was med free around 8 weeks. i was so proud of myself and had no withdrawl. i would say i started to feel "off" around 12 weeks when my m/s got horrible and i realized that it wasn't going away.
around 20 weeks i had a complete mental break and suffered through it, crippled on the couch refusing to medicate my babies. at 22 weeks, when i was causing contractions and high blood pressure my doctor sat me down and told me that i was causing more harm by not medicating and got through to me.
i began taking zoloft 50 mg at 22 weeks and seeing a psychologist specializing in APD/PPD. i am SO glad i did. it was like night and day. within 2 weeks i started to feel a but better and was able to function on my own (not having to be fed by my husband and mother, and being able to shower alone without wondering how hot i could make the water to hurt myself.)
The medication helped me immensely and I was able to deal with the emotions surging through me because of my extreme reaction to the horomones.
Around 32 weeks I started to feel connected to the pregnancy...excited...and like me.
After the birth we raised the zoloft to 100 one week post partum when i started to get anxious about DH returning to work and caring for twins alone. raising to 100 totally helped and fended off any PPD that was coming.
Please let me know if you need anything. I suffered through APD because I did not even know it existed. I didn't want to talk about how I hated being pregnant and felt no connection to the babies. I know the shame and I am here if you every need to talk.
P.S. My babies were born, happy, healthy and breastfed for 7.5 months while I was on the zoloft.