South Florida Babies

sleep regression

When Emma was around 3 months old, I thought we were finally seeing the light at the end of the tunnel in regards to STTN. She went through a great stretch where she would consistently sleep for 3.5-4 hour spans, and a few nights she would even give me 5 consecutive hours. Then I went back to work when she was 3.5 months and it all went to sh!t. She's been totally regressing and getting consistently worse, to the point of last night, which was her all time low, where she woke up every single hour on the hour after giving me one decent stretch of 2.5 hours when we initially put her to bed.

We have a nighttime routine that we follow and she always sleeps the first stretch of the night (however long that is) in her crib in her own room (this is also where she takes all of her naps during the day). Then, upon that first waking, occassionally I will just go to her room, feed her there, and put her back down in her crib, but more often than not we just bring her into our room and either bed-share for the rest of the night or put her in the bassinet next to us. Honestly, it's just out of pure laziness on our part because it's just more convenient and takes less effort to have her so close. She seems to take equally well to the crib, the bassinet, and our bed, and I don't notice that she really sleeps longer or shorter stretches in any of those three scenarios.

I've been noticing in the last few weeks with her waking up so often that the only thing that puts her back to sleep is to nurse. I know she's not hungry because she just latches, sucks for maybe 2-3 minutes, tops, and then is passed out again only to wake up an hour later and repeat the cycle. It used to be that we could just give her the pacifier when she woke up so frequently and that would soothe her and put her back to sleep untill she woke up again hungry, but now even that won't do the trick. She is frantic and spits out the pacifier until I give her the boob. I know she doesn't NEED to nurse to sleep because when we put her down initially at night, she's not nursing, and during the day she falls asleep for her naps w/o the boob or a bottle.

One night last week I was so desperate that I let her CIO for five minutes (she was in her crib in her own room at this point) and when I finally went in after those five minutes of hysterical crying, I just put in the pacifier and she instantly fell asleep (I guess she tired herself out). She woke up an hour and a half or so later, though, so it's not like that little bit of CIO helped her get any closer to STTN.

Anyway, I just feel lost at this point. Part of me just thinks it's pointless to really do anything about it and that not sleeping is just a fact of life that I will have to deal with for the next few months until she's older or starting solids or something. But another part of me feels like I need to be more proactive and try different solutions with more consistency until we find something that works. I am scared that I am creating bad habits that are going to make her take longer to start STTN. I've never really been a fan of CIO and, regardless, I've heard that Ferberizing isn't really effective till they are around 8 months old or so. Maybe that's b.s. and CIO is exactly what she needs?! I don't know. I have the Pentley book "The No-Cry Sleep Solution" and tried some of her tips when Emma was younger but they didn't seem to make much of a difference. Everyone keeps telling us that we just need to start giving her cereal or formula to keep her fuller longer, but if she survives on only breastmilk all day and only needs to eat every 3-3.5 hours, there's no reason why she shouldn't be doing the same at night.

Anyway, sorry this was so long and rambling. I really think it's just more of a vent than anything else, but by all means, if anyone has any suggestions or went through the same thing, I'd love to hear any input you have.

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Re: sleep regression

  • I obviously have no advice but I'd talk to K about this :) I think she recently went through this with Nicky maybe she can offer some adivce.
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  • I obviously have no exprience but perhaps she's teething or going through a growth spurt?!

    Hope it all works out soon.

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  • I would say its a phase (one of many that she will go through).  IMO, she is waaaaaaay too little to let her CIO. 

    Try to wait it out, could definitely be a growth spurt, so she may be hungrier than normal.  Have you noticed any reflux type issues that could bother her when she sleeps.  Any ear pullling or grabbing?  

    I'm sorry, I know how hard it is when you're exhausted and don't know what to do :( 

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  • IDK much about this, but it sounds like she was doing well before so there may be another issue that is not letting her sleep at night. 

    I remember one of the girls who had a similar issue recommended that whoever is watching her during the day keep her active and not let her sleep too much so that she'll STTN as much as possible. 

  • I would stop nursing her to sleep and I would stop bringing her into your bed. If she is in your bed and is not hungry...she can smell your milk and wants to nurse, even if its just to sooth herself, so that will wake her (and you) up. If you nurse her before bed and she falls asleep try and wake her up a little before you lay her down. With kisses or snuggles or talking to her while you settle her - whatever works. But try to avoid putting her to bed completely asleep.

    She has not learned to sooth herself. IMHO, she is not too young to CIO...so if all else fails. Also, CIO is not so that she can sleep through the night. Its so that she learns to self sooth because nothing else has worked. And by nothing else, I mean nothing else that is acceptable to you and daddy as parents. Start 5 minute, then 10 minute, then 15 minute at a time, etc. I can give you tips if you want. Also, no offense, but doing it once and for 5 minutes is not going to magically make her STTN. Its a whole process. I think there is a book on it - Farber, Feber? Something like that.

    I also, as usual, recommend a homedics sound machine for her room to help her sooth herself since she does not take a paci or her thumb (neither did Sophie).

    There are many ways you can go but in the beginning they are all going to be hard on you and you have to expect that.

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  • I'm sorry Emma is being a little pain. She just wants to keep you on your toes! I think you should try to keep her in her crib at night. I agree that she probably wakes up often because she smells you and wants you to comfort her. I think that no matter what you do, you have to do what makes you feel the most comfortable. If you don't feel comfortable letting her CIO, then don't do it. If you don't feel comfortable starting cereals, then don't do it. I know sleep is really important to us moms, but feeling comfortable with the decisions you make as a mother is more important. You don't want to lose even more sleep thinking that you started cereals too soon, etc. Follow your mommy instinct and do what you think is best.
  • definitely put her down sleepy but not asleep. we made that mistake with abby and could never break it.  it took 17 freaking months before the child learned to fal asleep on her own- year, completely our fault!!

    With Sarah, I've been putting her down sleepy, and I noticed she puts herself to sleep (even if it's only for an hour.)  But this time around, I refused to hold her until she passes out...as much as I want to!

    I'm on the fence about the whole CIO thing... which is why we waited until 17 months to do it wtih Abby.  I think if you've tried EVERYTHING and you know she's not teething, she's not hungry, she's not in pain and she's just sleeping, the CIO might work.  But if there's a doubt that there's something wrong, I wouldn't do it.  I think she's too tiny to do CIO fully (ignoring it completely, regardless, in the middle of the night)  I never nursed, so I'm not sure how the hunger situation goes, but it wasn't until we started giving her large doses at night of formula that we were able to skip the nighttime feedings.

  • I'm so so sorry Jen. I know excatly what you are going through. I could have written this exact post. The only thing is that Nico did not start sttn until 5 months and then right around 6 months, he started to regress again. He actually started to sleep worse when we started solids. At first, I thought maybe it was his body getting used to something different in his belly, so I just did what I had to do to get some sleep (go in and nurse him even though I didn't think he was hungry, bring him to my bed- although I try not to do this before 4:30 or 5 am). But now it's almost been a month of solids and he is still waking up. Now I think he's teething. It's always something!

    So agian I'm just doing what I have to do for all of us to sleep. Hang in there!!!! I just tell myself that it will get better. There is no way it's going to be like this forever (I hope not!)! I have tried CIO and it does not work. Nico can cry for over an hour and when I go in, he just cries harder. I have tried the no cry solution and it does not work for us either. So, when he wakes up, I just try to comfort him- hold him, rock, etc. He has never taken a pacifier so I can't do that. If he's happy, I can sometimes put him in his crib awake and he will play for a while and then fall asleep by himself. But when all else fails, the boob always works! I'm sorry, I could not help much but I just want you to know, you are not alone in your struggles. Hopefully this will pass soon (for both of us!)

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  • Ack, this sounds familiar. As you remember it took us a whole year to get Juju to sleep thoruhg the night. He would wake up every 2-3 hours to feed and that pass out. Unfortunately I don't really think you can train your child, they simply do it when their ready. I was never a fan of CIO, I did have  the 'no cry-sleep solution' book and there was a specific part of that book where they explain what a baby is going through when you let them CIO and it freaked me out. Please don't do that to Emma!! lol I do recommend that you get the Homedics sound machine and put the setting to waterfall (sounds just like white noise) and blast it all night in her room. If you move her to your room then take the machine with you. It will be somehting familiar for her and blocks out all uneccesary noises. You can try Gaby giving her a big bottle at bedtime while you pump and that might hold her out a little longer. But I honetly think she STTn when's shes ready. GOOd luck, xoxo

    -j

  • I forgot about the white noise machine - definitely get it!!!

    I agree with Jenny about putting her down drowsy but not fully asleep.  The no-cry thing takes longer than letting them CIO, but it does work if you are consistent.  Actually, I think anything works as long as you are consistent.  Like MelB said, 5 min of crying is not really CIO, and if you wanted to go that route, check out Ferber.  Like I said, I'm not a fan of it at this age, but like Jenny, I did it after Alexis was about 18 months old and it worked, but at that point she had a routine and I felt could better understand that I was not just leaving her screaming.  I think at this age crying is the only way they can communicate with you.  

    This is just my experience, but I did a variety of things when Alexis was little for us all to get some sleep - co-sleeping, rocking, putting her in her swing, etc.  And I found that when I stopped it was not an issue and had not become a habit.  Sometimes, all they need is comfort.

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  • Thanks guys. 90% of the time I try to just to go with the flow and not stress it. I tell myself that she'll sleep when she's ready to sleep, what works one day won't work the next, etc., and that regardless I shouldn't get used to one set pattern because anything from teething to a cold to a growth spurt could affect her sleeping pattern at any moment. But then we have a streak of bad nights, especially one like last night where I slept MAYBE four hours, if that, and not even consecutively, and I start to wonder WTF I'm doing and why I'm not being more proactive about trying different things to get her to sleep longer. Days like today I can't help but feel like I'm doing us all a huge disservice by not making more of an effort to change her ways. Then the other little voice inside my head says it's not worth the trouble and I shouldn't even bother because she'll sleep when she sleeps.

    ::bangs head on desk::

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    Jen: This sounds like the typical "wakeful period" in a 4 month olds life. It's usually a phase and I would continue doing what you are doing (except I agree, don't bring her into your bed or you are asking for trouble). It took us a long time to get E to sleep through the night but as the months went by, he extended the number of hours he would sleep. Sounds like Emma is taking E's same route. 4-5 hours seems about right when E was her age. Eventually, it became 5-6 hrs, and then one day will STTN. E did not completely STTN until I stopped BFing though - towards the end he would just wake up in the middle of the night to BF for a few minutes and that was it; he was just "used" to it. Then we stopped, and he has been STTN since! I know it can be frustrating and being sleep deprived is no fun but this too shall pass! ;)
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  • I went through almost the same thing with Nicholas, although he was FF not BF. 

    At 2.5 months old he began to STTN.  Two weeks later at three months old he went through a growth spurt and that set off some sort of sleep regression.  He began waking up every 20-40 minutes ALL NIGHT LONG!

    By his 4 month well visit I was so bone tired that every part of me hurt.  When the pedi walked in the room and asked how things were going, I burst into tears.

    She gave me two plans of advice:

    The first is that once a baby hits 14 lbs, they no longer require a middle of the night feeding.  By four months old a middle of the night feeding was habit not hunger and to stop feeding him in the middle of the night. She told me that he was old enough to self soothe and to let him CIO for up to 45 minutes, but no longer because he would take in too much air and get a stomach ache.

    I was all prepared tro try it, but she told me to try the following first.  I was to give him one tablespoon of cereal once a day until he got used to the spoon and opened his mouth willingly, then to go ahead and increase to three meals a day, increasing the amount of cereal to however much he would eat in one sitting (which was 2 tablespoons at the time.)

    The first night he ate three meals a day he STTN and he gave me a good 5 month streak of STTN after that until teething started.

    Cooincidentally, I did eventually try CIO with him and it is not as bad as people fear it to be.  He never cried longer than 10 minutes before completely exausting himself and going back to sleep.

    Now again, he was FF and I know BFers have different views on feeding, but that is what worked for us. GL!

     

  • Jen, I don't have any advice since I'm in the same situation with Carley. My guess is it's just a phase, but even with that knowledge, the lack of sleep is still hard on us. Just wanted to let you know you're not alone. ((HUGS))
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