NPR:Should I go to the funeral home?

nettie

Hello Everyone,

I am not really sure what to so in this case, so any insight would be nice. My co-worker's father just passed away on Thursday, it was kind of unexpected, he was just diagnosed with cancer and it was his first treatment and he developed and infection and passed away. The viewing was sunday and the funeral/mass is today. I coudln't attend the viewing yesterday. Do you think I should go to the funeral home today? My co-worker has worked with us for about 5 months..I feel like I have a lot of work today, but I know it could be put off, but I am kind of feeling really bad today, well, I've just been having a bad life lately with my dh being laid off since august and other family issues, and I kind of almost lost it today but on the other hand I feel like that is really selfish and I should just put everything aside and go , my boss is going and asked if I wanted to go with her or if I didn't plan I going, I said I didn't plan on going. what is appropriate to do here? I'm sorry, I can usually make decisions but lately I can't think straight at all... thanks for any insight..

dnagal

I wouldn't go, too personal an event for a 5 month coworker.  (Just MHO)  The viewing, yes.  The funeral, no.  I'd just send a sympathy card.

xbrooklyngrl

I agree, just send a sympathy card.

And I hope you feel better

nettie

Thanks to both of you, I feel like I made the right decision now.

GreenEggs&Ham

i nearly always go to funerals/wakes etc.  I feel like then there is no akwardness later on and I have always felt immensely appreciated - like people felt good about my effort.  my DH is the same way - we kinda feel like there is no down side to attending, only downside to NOT attending.

 

that being said, the funeral home before the funeral is personal and in this case, i would just show up at the funeral at the chuch.  If there are not doing a church funeral, i would go to the funeral home and hang out in the back.