Touchy-feely crap.

autumngirl

So, how many of you are like me and cringe every time someone (well-meaning) tells you that you were "chosen" to be a special needs mom.

Seriously? I cannot think of a more ill-fitting SNs mom than me. I am a worry-wart by nature, prone to pessimism, obsessive, a pseudo- perfectionist, want to fix everything and quickly, little patience, and a researchaholic.

I know people mean well when they say such things....but deep down I want to scream and tear my hair out. Welcome to Holland makes me want to vomit.

thefuturemrskudla

I hear you, and I fit your self-description to a T.

bugmommy

I always say that whoever made that decision overestimated my abilities and should be fired   They mean well and just don't know what else to say to try to make you feel better.

jptimestwo

THANK YOU FOR SAYING THIS!  I also want to puke when I hear references to the "Holland" story.  Having a child with special needs sucks.  I love my son more than words, but I really HATE that he has Down syndrome. 

 Someone told me...."If you have to have a child with special needs....DS is the disability to have."  REALLY?  Who says that? 

For the record...I also hate, "God doesn't give you more than you can handle."  Shut the H*** up about your God and why does "he" get to give my son a disability that affects every ounce of his being just because "I" can handle it......enough already.

Thanks for letting me vent...I really do feel better now!

autumngirl

"If you have to have a child with special needs....DS is the disability to have

 Someone said that to me about Triple X. I was like, um well... I would rather my child have no disability, actually. TYVM.

amajane

I agree with all the above sentiments.

I also hate when people say, "I don't know how you can do it. I could never handle having a child with special needs". Um, I didn't have a choice. And I'm not some super hero or a better person than anyone else. I'm doing it because I'm her mom, I love her and that's what you do when you're a mom.

And you would do the same thing if you were in my situation. 

luckyfrgg

autumngirl:

Welcome to Holland makes me want to vomit.

Amen.  I'm with you.  I don't like any of the "oh you're so special, oh you were chosen, oh what an amazing gift to truly show you what's important in life" stuff.  To me, my daughter is beautiful and wonderful and I'm thrilled to have her, but the whole rainbows and puppies thing about special needs kids just doesn't resonate with me.

I'm more of a "this is our life, we never thought it would be perfect so we're living it, imperfections and all, and it's truly good" kind of girl.

luckyfrgg

autumngirl:

"If you have to have a child with special needs....DS is the disability to have

 Someone said that to me about Triple X. I was like, um well... I would rather my child have no disability, actually. TYVM.

Oh and... I had the mom of another kid with WS say once "my geneticist says that Williams is the cadillac of genetic syndromes, and I totally agree."  HUH?

stillhoping

I do not even bother to address the comments anymore. I love my children, I am so proud of them but I would love for them to be less "awesome"

My favorite one is I am so proud of you, you are so strong. Why are you proud of me, If only you knew how many times I break down, how many times I lose it, how many times I want to go hide in my closet and cry because my child is not going to wake up tomorrow and not have ASD, SPD or SM. this is something we will deal with every day for the rest of our lives. When I am in a mood and someone says how do you do it, I ell them I wake up and get dressed just like you do, take a deep breath and do what I have to do. It is not a choice. 

mommyof4boys

I don't know anything about Holland.  I happen to be residing in Beirut!

https://www.catholicdisabilityteachings.com/Welcome%20to%20Beirut.htm

PnkBride

I hate the "God never gives you more than you can handle".  Umm, yea right!!  Please tell me then why I had a nervous breakdown and through 4 years of therapy discovered I was a control freak and my biggest issue is that I can't "FIX" my daughter!!! 

skittles_123

Yeah, I actually really liked the story when my ds was first dx, it was quite comforting to me. But, I think people forget that any person who is given a SN child would raise would probably do the same things I am. So, I am not any braver or stronger than anyone else, I am a mom, I do what is best for my children and so do you?

But I can say, my ds has changed me profoundly in so many ways. I remember thinking, back before my ds was even born, about a 2nd cousin on my dh's side, a baby at the time, who didn't crawl right at 6 months, and thought, how ridiculous, something must be wrong with him. I think that really bit me in the bottom right quick.

He has really made me a more appreciative mommy to my typical dd. He has made me a more patient person, although I still have my moments that I would rather not admit. The little things don't bother me as much, and I am on Lexapro, which I probably needed to be on even before ds dx, as wow, I had serious anxiety and control issues before I was on that.  

bambi2815

I also am a constant worrier and I'm always looking anything and everything up on the internet. Sometimes I let the negative outway the positive...ugh.