I complained about DH always sleeping in on weekends...

Sunflower777

and not helping me with the kids in the morning. So what does he do today? He comes out of the bedroom shortly after he hears the kids are up and sleeps on the couch in the middle of the chaos. As if that's helpful. Unbelievable. 

 

Zenya

Would you like to sleep in instead?  

If so, just do it and he'll figure it out.

If not (some people get up early no matter what) and he is not a morning person, then can you find a time of the day that he can give you a break?  Lately I don't like to sleep in so I don't mind my DH sleeping (no point in us both being up) but as soon as he's up I am at the gym. Maybe something like that would work for you guys.

tim+erin

Do we have the same DH?  Mine is currently mad at me because I asked him to get DS1 out of his room this morning because I was trying to get DS2 back to sleep.  He thinks it is ridiculous that I woke him up since I was already awake.  Going to be a great day!

KrisBriMcBunny

compromise is such a fine art I think lol  I cant sleep in no matter how hard I try.  So on the weekends dh is usually sleeping in but he takes over 100% with Michelle.  She climbs into bed with him & watches tv for an hour or so which gives him an extra hour of sleep.  Lots of times they go on errands together which will give me a few hours to myself.  During the week I do mornings with her and he does the evenings like baths, reading and putting her to bed.

You just have to find a happy medium in order for a compromise to work.  Guys who refuse to do that are major @ssholes in my opinion.

 

eclaires

I am not a morning person.  Very far from it - in fact, I struggle to function before 9am most of the time.  During the week, I do my best since I'm a SAHM, but on the weekends my husband usually gets up w/ Jackson and lets me sleep in (granted, Jackson usually is not up before 8-8:30, which is sleeping in for my husband).

I can count on one hand probably the number of times I have been up and he has been asleep on the weekends, but, that said, it works for both of us, because if he needs to do something later in the day, or wants a nap, I'm happy to take over for him.  Or if he doesn't need that, we spend the day together (usual outcome).

I think part of the reason he is okay with our situation is because I don't have a bad attitude about it (like if he asks me to get up, I do) and because he knows I sleep really poorly, which he doesn't struggle with.  The reason I can barely function in the mornings is because I wake up a zillion times a night and have for as long as I can remember, which makes it hard to get up and feel well-rested in the mornings.

I would work on a compromise that works for both of you - if he has trouble getting up in the mornings, fine.  Then you get free time later in the day to rest or whatever you want.  If you both have trouble, trade off.

femmegem

Ditto what others said. My DH is just not a morning person. Plus he's an academic and tends to do his best work at night, so he's typically up until at least 3 in the morning working. I am a morning person. Even if he got up with DS 99% of the time I'd be awake anyway, so it just makes more sense for me to get up with DS in the mornings.

I'm not a SAHM, but on weekends when I really need a break I just tell him. Granted, he usually ends up napping on the couch and DS comes up and finds me after an hour or so, so it's not perfect. But it works pretty well for us. I usually only need 45 mins or so of alone time to recharge.

Mrs Manners

Mine sleeps in every weekend too. However, when ds goes down for a nap, I give him the monitor and disappear into our bedroom to "nap" myself and let him listen for ds and watch him when he gets up. Sometimes I nap (which is better for me anyway because I can't sleep in late but often find myself tired later in the day), sometimes I nest, sometimes I read...but I make sure I get that rest time to myself.

breezee_bean

Zenya:

Would you like to sleep in instead?  

If so, just do it and he'll figure it out.

If not (some people get up early no matter what) and he is not a morning person, then can you find a time of the day that he can give you a break?  Lately I don't like to sleep in so I don't mind my DH sleeping (no point in us both being up) but as soon as he's up I am at the gym. Maybe something like that would work for you guys.

ditto this!  MH is a a morning person.  He gets up at like 4-5am during the week and sleeping in for him is 7am.  I am sooooo not a morning person and I usually get to sleep in.  But MH takes an hour to do whatever he wants (wash his car, read, run some errands for himself etc.) It works for us.  

But if you want to sleep in, maybe take turns on the weekends doing so.  

 

breezee_bean

eclaires:

I am not a morning person.  Very far from it - in fact, I struggle to function before 9am most of the time.  During the week, I do my best since I'm a SAHM, but on the weekends my husband usually gets up w/ Jackson and lets me sleep in (granted, Jackson usually is not up before 8-8:30, which is sleeping in for my husband).

I can count on one hand probably the number of times I have been up and he has been asleep on the weekends, but, that said, it works for both of us, because if he needs to do something later in the day, or wants a nap, I'm happy to take over for him.  Or if he doesn't need that, we spend the day together (usual outcome).

I think part of the reason he is okay with our situation is because I don't have a bad attitude about it (like if he asks me to get up, I do) and because he knows I sleep really poorly, which he doesn't struggle with.  The reason I can barely function in the mornings is because I wake up a zillion times a night and have for as long as I can remember, which makes it hard to get up and feel well-rested in the mornings.

I would work on a compromise that works for both of you - if he has trouble getting up in the mornings, fine.  Then you get free time later in the day to rest or whatever you want.  If you both have trouble, trade off.

this is so us, too.  I don't ever feel like I fall into a deep sleep alot of times at night.  This has only been since we've had kids though. Plus, the only coffee I drink isn't first thing in the morning and I only drink coffee like 2 times per week. 

During the week, I am always up with the kids since MH will have already been up working for like 2-3 hours by the time we get up.  

I swear the "powers that be" knew what they were doing when MH and I got together =P 

eclaires

breezee_bean:

eclaires:

I am not a morning person.  Very far from it - in fact, I struggle to function before 9am most of the time.  During the week, I do my best since I'm a SAHM, but on the weekends my husband usually gets up w/ Jackson and lets me sleep in (granted, Jackson usually is not up before 8-8:30, which is sleeping in for my husband).

I can count on one hand probably the number of times I have been up and he has been asleep on the weekends, but, that said, it works for both of us, because if he needs to do something later in the day, or wants a nap, I'm happy to take over for him.  Or if he doesn't need that, we spend the day together (usual outcome).

I think part of the reason he is okay with our situation is because I don't have a bad attitude about it (like if he asks me to get up, I do) and because he knows I sleep really poorly, which he doesn't struggle with.  The reason I can barely function in the mornings is because I wake up a zillion times a night and have for as long as I can remember, which makes it hard to get up and feel well-rested in the mornings.

I would work on a compromise that works for both of you - if he has trouble getting up in the mornings, fine.  Then you get free time later in the day to rest or whatever you want.  If you both have trouble, trade off.

this is so us, too.  I don't ever feel like I fall into a deep sleep alot of times at night.  This has only been since we've had kids though. Plus, the only coffee I drink isn't first thing in the morning and I only drink coffee like 2 times per week. 

During the week, I am always up with the kids since MH will have already been up working for like 2-3 hours by the time we get up.  

I swear the "powers that be" knew what they were doing when MH and I got together =P 

Exactly, breezee!  It totally was meant to be for us - I would not be able to function married to someone who was always making me get up in the morning.  I'd be a zombie.  I also don't drink coffee (ever) or really any caffeine unless I have a headache coming on.

breezee_bean

eclaires:

breezee_bean:

eclaires:

I am not a morning person.  Very far from it - in fact, I struggle to function before 9am most of the time.  During the week, I do my best since I'm a SAHM, but on the weekends my husband usually gets up w/ Jackson and lets me sleep in (granted, Jackson usually is not up before 8-8:30, which is sleeping in for my husband).

I can count on one hand probably the number of times I have been up and he has been asleep on the weekends, but, that said, it works for both of us, because if he needs to do something later in the day, or wants a nap, I'm happy to take over for him.  Or if he doesn't need that, we spend the day together (usual outcome).

I think part of the reason he is okay with our situation is because I don't have a bad attitude about it (like if he asks me to get up, I do) and because he knows I sleep really poorly, which he doesn't struggle with.  The reason I can barely function in the mornings is because I wake up a zillion times a night and have for as long as I can remember, which makes it hard to get up and feel well-rested in the mornings.

I would work on a compromise that works for both of you - if he has trouble getting up in the mornings, fine.  Then you get free time later in the day to rest or whatever you want.  If you both have trouble, trade off.

this is so us, too.  I don't ever feel like I fall into a deep sleep alot of times at night.  This has only been since we've had kids though. Plus, the only coffee I drink isn't first thing in the morning and I only drink coffee like 2 times per week. 

During the week, I am always up with the kids since MH will have already been up working for like 2-3 hours by the time we get up.  

I swear the "powers that be" knew what they were doing when MH and I got together =P 

Exactly, breezee!  It totally was meant to be for us - I would not be able to function married to someone who was always making me get up in the morning.  I'd be a zombie.  I also don't drink coffee (ever) or really any caffeine unless I have a headache coming on.

haha!  I think that our Hs are really similar, e;)  The longer we were married, the more it became apparent that MH was really meant for me...how corny does that sound though=P

MH was supposed to give up his evening coffee for Lent, but I always caught him committing a "Lenten foul" after dinner.  MH thought that because we aren't church-going people that he wasn't getting any strength from above to not commit the "Lenten Foul."  =P 

AggieCouple

H is not a morning person, either, and I am willing to compromise on that.  But I do get annoyed when he stays up until 1 AM playing video games or surfing the Internet.  It's not like he can't fall asleep early.  On nights I've convinced him to go to bed early (I'm talking 10:30-11 pm, not 8) because we may have an early morning the next day, he has no trouble falling asleep.  I have to practically beg him to get into bed by midnight on Saturdays because we have to be up by 7:30 to get to church on time, and if not, I am running around getting everyone ready and we are late and end up standing.

I stay up late working and am still up at 7 AM with TB.  Also, when the kids get up at nights, they come to my side of the bed, and I am up 3-4 times most nights while H sleeps undisturbed.  So I really can't help but be pretty grumpy about it when I am just extra tired, and he feels entitled to continue his uninterrupted sleep for an extra 2-3 hours.  I don't get up at 7 because I like it.  I get up at 7 because TB is up and crying for breakfast, and because even awake from 7 to 11 PM, I still go to bed with a tasklist a mile long.

If this is your H, I fully sympathize.  I've actually sat down with H and explained to him how hard this makes life sometimes, and every time, he promises he can still get up early even if he goes to bed late, a promise which is of course broken by the following weekend.  Or, if he does get up, it's (like your H), to fall asleep on the sofa to "watch" the kids.  

This has really been the only area H has not successfully changed, so I try to not be too much of a b*tch about it.  But going to bed at 1 AM (for frivolous reasons) and sleeping in until 10 is fine before you have kids.  But there are habits you have to change when you have kids, and I think going to bed early so you have the energy to parent the next day is one of them. 

Dimplz

DH and I alternate which weekend morning to sleep in. For example, I got up Saturday morning with DS and DH got up today. Next week, I will sleep in on Saturday and get up Sunday. It works out very well for us.

shouldbworkin

this is us.exactly.  I don't even bother any more, it's just not worth the mess to ask him to wake up with them and I don't even sleep anyway.  I usually get some downtime later in the day to make up for it and it works out fine.  But, I have a rule that he has to be up by 9, too.