Ferber Questions...

kiarox2002

Does anyone have experience with Ferberizing for going to sleep but then getting your LO at the first nightwaking and bringing them to bed with you?  I told DH he could have a week, but that's up tomorrow.  We have seen real progress with falling asleep.  We've gone from having her cry for up to 2 hours before we started this thing to tonight where she only cried for a few minutes.  It has also been really nice to have our evenings back.

 That being said, I can't deal with the crying in the middle of the night for much longer.  Kate has been up several times already and she will cry for up to an hour each time.  When does this stop?  If we give up on the middle of the night wakings and just bring her to bed with us will her going to bed sleep regress?  

Also, naps.  She is still fighting the naps.  Like she screams for the 30 minutes and then never falls asleep.  She is beyond exhausted.  What can I do to help with the naps? 

jakbtx

ugh! this is so hard! i don't have any advice, but i can empathize. we gave up on ferber w #2 bc the middle of the night crying would go for hours, i could never handle more than 2, i couldn't go all the way. who knows if it would have worked if he cried all night long, but we couldn't do it. my DS1 responded to ferber decently (got him from waking ev 2-3hr to one 4am nurse wakeup until we weaned), but w/DS2 it just didn't work well at all. he would go down to sleep fine, it was the waking up that was the problem. he's almost 2.5 and seriously just now STTN. i think both of my boys took 2 yrs to consistently STTN.  i have low expectations for #3 (up ev 2 hr last night, wheee!). sorry to ramble, sorry you are going through this. it will get better one day!! 

smb29

I have found that M still goes to sleep fine even if I get up with him at a night waking.  His schedule got thrown off when dh started a new job and it created a night waking for a while.  I would get up and feed him and it didn't impact his going down for the night at all.  Maybe think about tackling the night wakings one at a time to help her and you.  When M was still getting up twice a night we decided to drop the first night feeding and he dropped the second one on his own within a few weeks. 

I never really ferbered for naps.  I usually rock him to sleep for naps on the weekend (he goes to daycare during the week) because I love the cuddle time.  Its only if I know he is sleepy and rocking doesn't seem to be working that I put him in the crib and will let him fuss until he falls asleep.  If she is having a really hard time with the naps, I'd focus on night sleeping and work on naps later.

MrsChristmas

If your ultimate goal is to get her to sleep in her crib all night, I wouldn't start bringing her to bed with you. If you are ok with co-sleeping, give it a try and see how it goes.  I didn't do Ferber in the middle of the night. I went in, picked her up, nursed, whatever it took. This didn't seem to ruin her sleep or become a habit, so I didn't have a problem with it. However, this didn't happen every night, and when it did, it was usually just the one waking; it didn't go on all night.

As far as naps go, I never Ferbered there either. Once her night time sleep was consistent, and she was well rested, naps just fell into place, and she eventually put herself on a schedule. However, this didn't happen for a few months after the inital Ferberizing, so I just did whatever it took to get her to nap at first. When night time sleep was better, I started trying to put her down in the crib without any of the extra crutches, like nursing, etc. I followed the same routine at naptime as at bedtime, minus the bath, and being consistent really helped. If she was fussy, I'd wait it out, but if she was full on crying, I'd end the nap and try again in 30 minutes. I tried intervals a couple times without success, which is why I didn't really follow Ferber for naps.

I know how hard it is, but it sounds like you've seen some improvement at least. Have heart that other people have had success in Ferbering without following all of "the rules". Good luck.