Clicky Poll: Support from DH

kekis

If you could only choose one answer to describe the overall support from him, what you choose?

[Poll]

LOVEDBYD

Wow, I think most of us have wonderful and supportive husbands!

MoFree

Can I say I'm envious of all you women with wonderfully supportive husbands who are equal partners in IF, regardless of where the medical issue lies.

Can I ask all of your your secrets.  Even before the accident, I often wondered what I was doing wrong, why my DH was not on baord in terms of being supportive and his desire to do anything and everything to have a child.  Maybe I just chose the wrong person if having chldren was a total deal breaker for me.

Edwina.McDunnough

MoFree:

Can I say I'm envious of all you women with wonderfully supportive husbands who are equal partners in IF, regardless of where the medical issue lies.

Can I ask all of your your secrets.  Even before the accident, I often wondered what I was doing wrong, why my DH was not on baord in terms of being supportive and his desire to do anything and everything to have a child.  Maybe I just chose the wrong person if having chldren was a total deal breaker for me.

Mo, hugs to you. My Hubs had a very different perspective before we had our m/c and I'd hate to have to go through that just to "realize" what your priorities are. Me, I have been ready for a long time, but for him it was a wake up call. He always thought we had time and that it would happen...if not whatever. The loss really was hard for him too.

Sunshine05

MoFree:

Can I say I'm envious of all you women with wonderfully supportive husbands who are equal partners in IF, regardless of where the medical issue lies.

Can I ask all of your your secrets.  Even before the accident, I often wondered what I was doing wrong, why my DH was not on baord in terms of being supportive and his desire to do anything and everything to have a child.  Maybe I just chose the wrong person if having chldren was a total deal breaker for me.

Ditto all this, Mo!  I feel so alone in all this.  I ask him if he really wants to have a child and he says yes, he's just nervous.  I finally got him to pin down a date of when we would start tx (next January) because it's been nearly 5 years since we started TTC (right after we got married) and I'm way past being ready to move onto tx!!  Very jealous of all you girls with supportive DH's.  

BMWwife

MoFree:

Can I say I'm envious of all you women with wonderfully supportive husbands who are equal partners in IF, regardless of where the medical issue lies.

Can I ask all of your your secrets.  Even before the accident, I often wondered what I was doing wrong, why my DH was not on baord in terms of being supportive and his desire to do anything and everything to have a child.  Maybe I just chose the wrong person if having chldren was a total deal breaker for me.

I feel similar to you. I think part of it with us is that in the back of my mind (since I was 14) I knew becoming a mom would probably not be a natural event for me. Meanwhile my DH has only had a short time to comprehend all of this. He doesnt understand why as soon as we officially began trying I had to start taking meds and getting a bajillion test. Now the idea that he too maybe contributing to our problems really baffles hime b/c "he feels fine".

I know my DH really want to have children and I know he wants to have a bunch. Hence him refusing to look at anything less then a 4 bedroom houseand teasing me about a minivan being my next car. He just isn't a person that likes to go to the doctors (not that anyone does) and will complain about a headache for hours before taking anything for it.

He did say something the other day regarding our possible IUI this week and for the life of me I can't remember what it was. But it was basically his way of telling me that he really wants this to work.  I really want this cycle to work but if it doesnt I'm hopping that will get him to understand that us having a baby isn't as easy as sticking a round stick in a round hole.

kekis

MoFree:

Can I say I'm envious of all you women with wonderfully supportive husbands who are equal partners in IF, regardless of where the medical issue lies.

Can I ask all of your your secrets.  Even before the accident, I often wondered what I was doing wrong, why my DH was not on baord in terms of being supportive and his desire to do anything and everything to have a child.  Maybe I just chose the wrong person if having chldren was a total deal breaker for me.

If is already hard enough on its own, but to deal with all of the physical challenges you two have dealt with since your DH's accident must be amazingly difficult.  My DH wasn't supportive after my 3 m/cs, and I felt so isolated.  He is now slowly coming around, but I could still use a TON more support from him.  A lot of it stems from his ignorance, but if he tried going to some of my appointments with me maybe he'd understand more.  There's plenty on the internet about IF he could read and research.  Ignorance is an excuse IMO.

I posted this poll in hopes that I'm not alone, and while I'm glad I'm not, I'm sorry that others don't get the support they need either. 

BMWwife

kekis:

I posted this poll in hopes that I'm not alone, and while I'm glad I'm not, I'm sorry that others don't get the support they need either. 

I'm really glad that you posted this poll. Makes me feel more normal and have little more patience with DH. I know back when I first started posting I asked how eveyone told there husband they had to do an SA. I  was amazed at the number of girls who said " I told my husband to do it and he did". Really?? Your telling me that none of your husanabnds baulked at the idea of doing that in a what?? Just knew there were some girls out there with DH more similar to mine.

QuiltingBee

My DH is supportive, but sometimes it takes me breaking down for him to show it.  Sometimes I just wish he'd seem as obsessed and worried as I feel.