Does your 4ish yo do this? GAH!

true_norskie

If DD doesn't want to do what you're asking, she just plain doesn't acknowledge that you're talking to her.

In the back of my head, I was wondering if it was her hearing, but that checked out totally fine at her appointment last week.  That, plus the fact that I can ask a question about six times with no acknowledgement but when I threaten something like taking away her bedtime TV time she perks right up.

Is this what we're in for in the, ummm, effing 4's?!?  So far we've progressed out of the 3's and into bargaining, negotiating and [still] defiance.  She's a good kid...but when she's not?  She is a nightmare!

hopefulmom

My 3 1/2 year old does this!  I just make sure he is looking at me (and I'm looking at him) when I tell him what I want him to do or if I have a question for him).  It seems to help since he can't say he didn't hear me.

AggieCouple

ML (almost 4) does this.  I give her 3 chances.  Usually, the last time, I include "Do I need to ask you again?" and she knows I mean business.

DandelionMom

Yes!  Gracie is the queen of selective deafness, especially when it is time to put shoes on.  Luckily she hates it when I do stuff for her so all I have to say to get her moving is "if you don't get moving, I'm going to have to do it."

xbrooklyngrl

LMAO selective deafness, perfect way to describe it Dande!

Yes, B also suffers from this! lol

4Speedy

Yep.  My DD has perfected this so much that I even took her in to the pedi yesterday because I was sure she must have fluid in her ears.  Her ears were clear of wax, fluid, etc. so they did a hearing test on her.  She checked out fine in every range so now we are trying to figure out a way to get her to listen.

Also, please tell me if your DD does this:  even when she acknowledges that you've spoken, she will still say "what" and "huh" a half dozen times before whatever you are saying registers with her.

Please let me know what works for you--we're going nuts with this and my SIL is in the same boat with her 4 yo.  (Except I think her DD really does have a partial hearing deficit)

mlm1128

Oh yes.  ANd she knows that it pushes my buttons, so she does it even more.  She will ignore me, and if I look at her I can see her trying to hide the little smirk because she is doing it on purpose.

It's not as bad as when I ask her to do something and she looks at me and starts dancing and singing to make me forget wha i said.

kellilea

Yes, I think she gets it from her Dad. 

femmegem

My 3.5 year old does this as well. It's like I'm talking to myself sometimes.

I usually have to call his name, make sure he's looking at me, and then repeat what I just said.

true_norskie

mlm1128:

Oh yes.  ANd she knows that it pushes my buttons, so she does it even more.  She will ignore me, and if I look at her I can see her trying to hide the little smirk because she is doing it on purpose.

It's not as bad as when I ask her to do something and she looks at me and starts dancing and singing to make me forget wha i said.

OMG, the smirking irks me SO bad!  I try not to let it get to me because I know she's looking for the reaction.  I don't spank, but holy hell the things she does deliberately to get a rise out of me are about enough to throw me over the edge to do it!

Mominator

My 3.5 y/o does this and it drives me crazy. She is also heavy into the plea bargaining. Good times.

true_norskie

4Speedy:

Also, please tell me if your DD does this:  even when she acknowledges that you've spoken, she will still say "what" and "huh" a half dozen times before whatever you are saying registers with her.

Please let me know what works for you--we're going nuts with this and my SIL is in the same boat with her 4 yo.  (Except I think her DD really does have a partial hearing deficit)

Yes she does that.  Mostly when she "accidentally" acknowledges me and realizes that she meant to ignore me. 

I am constantly revising what works to get her to listen!  You tell her to look at you when you are talking to her.  She either ignores that or looks at you long enough for you to start talking and then looks away.  We sometimes resort to holding her head in one place to make sure she is looking...then she starts to look down or up with her eyes. 

We do warnings and have a consequence after the third warning.  The biggest thing is the follow-through.  For the most part she corrects her behavior.  But she'll sometimes act up and race to get the warnings just to test whether we follow-through. 

It is getting exhausting, but I know we have to keep it up.  Right now I'm chalking it up to her figuring out her boundaries.  So I think consistency and follow-through are key, even though it feels like sometimes we are getting nowhere.

jlw2505

My DD does this - will be 4 in June.  If I'm not sure if she is listening to me or not, I ask her to put her hands on her head or something like that and it works.  I get her attention and then repeat whatever I was telling/asking her.  It works with my 2 year old as well.  They do this at daycare and at one of the sports classes she took.  Gets their attention.