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? for Working Moms of Two
How big of an adjustment was it to go from one to two, especially after going back to work (from maternity leave)? Have your weekday evenings become insane? Do you feel you're still able to have quality time with both kiddos? Also, how was your maternity leave the second time around in comparison to the first time? Sorry for all of the questions, just trying to get a gauge on how life is with two, especially for the working moms. Thanks in advance!
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Re: ? for Working Moms of Two
hmmm....
anything else you want to add to this post??
Ditto!
How big of an adjustment was it to go from one to two, especially after going back to work (from maternity leave)? It was easier the second time. I was a basket case after #1 back at work and #2 was smooth sailing. Part of that was because I went back at 4 weeks the first time and 8 the second, but all of the irrational my-baby-will-die-if-I'm-not-home went away (mostly) after the first time.
Have your weekday evenings become insane? Yes. And my mornings, and often my days
Do you feel you're still able to have quality time with both kiddos? Yes. You have to make an effort, but you have to make an effort with 1 or 2. We spend one-on-one time on the weekends or when the other is sleeping, so I feel like I get a lot of quality, individual time.
Also, how was your maternity leave the second time around in comparison to the first time? My 2nd was better. It was longer, but I also knew to make the most of it. And watching DC1 become a big sister was something I wouldn't have missed for the world. The first weeks were magical.
Insane? YES!
I think the quality time with both kiddos is hard when you have 2 or more in general. I think it was hardest in the beginning (while I was on maternity leave), I just really missed all the quality time DD and I had before DS was born and it was heartbreaking when she would get upset because I was nursing DS or when she wanted to be held while I was trying to soothe DS... I had an article scanned in that talks about this very issue, I think it's still on my email and I'd be happy to send it to you (michelle dot boss at gmail.com). But it does get better, I think DD and I have just adjusted. We make the most of the time DS is napping and DH and I try to take time alone with her on the weekends while the other one is with DS.
But back to the insanity thing ;-) Our weekday evenings are total chaos! BUT... a lot of that is Megan in a cast and Ryan not taking bottle. Basically though ever since I went back to work Ryan hasn't drank much milk when I'm gone, so I get back and it's nurse-a-thon. No time to make dinner, no time to spend with DD :-( just nurse. The last two months have been much much better, now I do have time to play with Megan and DH has time to make something quick for dinner. It looks something like this: I get home at 6pm and we need to, nurse DS, make dinner, eat dinner, feed DS babyfood, bath DS, bath Megan (this is a 2 person job right now with her cast), nurse DS again, get DS to bed, get DD to bed, clean up the kitchen. We bath the kids every other night, so that helps but still on a good night we're done at 9:30.
On the working stuff, I was actually kinda excited to get back to work this time. Like Emer I wasn't worried about leaving the kids, I was 100% confident in our childcare and was excited to have more adult time / use the other parts of brain ;-)
My maternity leave this time was better in some ways and worse in others. Megan had a really hard time at first with DS, and that was just really hard for me. We also used to go out all.the.time and when DS came along it took me awhile to get comfortable enough to take them both out... and since it was winter it was often too cold to go outside. But I did enjoy it more this time because I knew how fast it would go! FYI, I took 12 weeks off both times.
How big of an adjustment was it to go from one to two, especially after going back to work (from maternity leave)?
For me, it was a big adjustment. I have most of the responsibilities at home right now, though. I get up at 6 am and am go-go-go until I pass out at 10 or 11 pm. I go home at lunch and do chores and/or make the dinner for that evening. I am always working.
Have your weekday evenings become insane?
Yes. Every evening is insane, weekend of weekday. The bedtime routine (between 7 and 8:30 pm) is definitely the most stressful time of the day for me, much more so if I have to do it all myself.
Do you feel you're still able to have quality time with both kiddos?
Sometimes. When one of them is napping and the other is awake. I usually have to have quality time with both of them together, at the same time.
Also, how was your maternity leave the second time around in comparison to the first time?
Baby #1 went to day care during my maternity leave for baby #2, which is the only reason maternity leave with baby #2 went very smoothly. It was much less stressful (but did go faster) with baby #2.