I would feel the same way you do if I were in the same situation. It is a mixed blessing, doesn't reduce the sadness, but also has another side. We have all the "resources" to have another child, but it doesn't mean that it would be the best thing for us, though I am sure we would love another if it happened. I am sorry for you loss and the idiotic comment.
Re: Since we are now defending our feelings, check out my response in Gibs post
I really am sorry for your loss.