- Pregnancy
- Baby & Toddler
- Parents
- Getting Pregnant
- Baby Names
- Product Reviews
-
Registry
- Community
-
More
Want a personalized experience?
Download the free app
Babies: 0 - 3 Months
Your relationship with DH
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Your relationship with DH
Good god I hope you are talking about bottle nipples...
I would have punched him. My comment back is that nowhere else is it acceptable to have someone working 24/7 without some help or a break.
with the lack of sleep we too sometimes get on each other nerves... it's not bad when we talk about what is irritating us, but sometimes we both don't talk we bottle in and sometimes explode. I was actually pretty happy one day when DS was fussy for hours so that he could see what days are like (sometimes). I think sometimes we just don't understand the other's point of view (DH was feeling useless at the beginning even though we was a great help doing runs to the supermarket and BRU before I could drive again).
Don't get me wrong when he was away for a work trip in Vegas during a snowstorm in which I had to shovel about 20 inches of snow (stopping only for short breaks for breastfeeding), book a backup hotel for an extended stay for him (in case the flight was cancelled), then cancel the reservation when he got another flight, and then book a car service (with about 3 hrs notice after normal hours). After he was sitting in the airport all day, he then told me how stressful that was... I blew up (and he also woke me up 4:30 AM my time to get updated pictures of DS) - sorry venting but honestly still a bit annoyed at this one. But I do know that telling him why I was so worked up the next day was much better that my explosion episode.
The key (for us anyway) is communication (calm communication)
Lost our first angel, 10/24/08 7w6d
Proud mama to Cameron
Lost our second angel, 2/16/11 8w
Proud mama to Melanie
I was lurking...although I should be over here soon
I was remembering when DS#1 was first born and when he was a tiny baby. I couldn't STAND my DH. The biggest annoyance was that neither of us were working or had a job (which sounds way worse than it actually was. We had a good chunk of savings, DH had just come back from a deployment, and he had a couple of options of continuing to work FT with the guard, and we had some time for him to get settled in a new job if he wanted...) It drove me up the wall because, like I said, neither of us were working, and yet I was doing most of the care for the new baby. He would tell me that looking for a job was his job.....but he wasn't doing much of that at all. He'd make one call to someone on base to find out about a position and then sit on his butt playing computer games for a week. I'd point out that he wasn't looking for a job and he'd go through his thing of "my job is looking for a job" and then that the position at the base wouldn't be available for several more weeks......then WHY can't you help me right now??? I wanted to strangle him! It was definitely the hardest time we'd been through. Of course I still get horribly annoyed with him at times, but it hasn't been so bad since then.
Now we both work - and I think he sees us more equal (that sucks....) and we make very similar amounts of money. DS#1 is on his way to 3, and DH seems to have a better grasp with an older child than a baby. Things aren't peaches and roses 100% of the time, but it has been a VAST improvement since the day DS#1 was born.
Now we'll just see what DS#2 does to our family/relationship!
haha
Cam 6.6.10 - Autism, Global Developmental Delay, Mixed Receptive/Expressive Communication Disorder
Wow! That's exactly how it is here in my house right now! He thinks he has it so much harder than me because I stay at home with lo all day and he goes to work. Plus, I wake up with lo on the weekends too. It wasn't supposed to be like that, but it is. Before the baby came we had a deal that I would wake up with lo M-TR since he works and he would F-Sun. The one day at 4:00 in the morning I was getting a bottle ready and lo was screaming and I heard him yell "What the hell is she doing!" I could've killed him. Thankfully my mom comes over every other day for about 2 hours to see lo and give me a break. If it wasn't for her, I think I would've went crazy by now.
this...except i work a full-time job an hour away from home. My mom watches LO and last nite I got a call and a 4 star lecture bc i was a half hour late leaving work bc he didnt want to take advantage of my mom. Meanwhile hes at the house working outside (playing) while my mom is inside with DD!!!! i could have killed him
Every now and then I just want to slam his head into a wall, but other than that, no big changes. He will annoy me sometimes when DS is crying and he just sits there holding him without trying to calm him down, but he don't take advice well so that is his own fault. I think it is common to have issues after a new baby though.
Personally, our relationship has gooten stronger. I am very independant and the DH has enjoyed being needed. He helps me so much! PLUS...our sexual relationship is amazing! Since we got married (nearly 3 yrs. ago), we've never really connected sexually. Now, we do.
I think a lot of it has to do with the fact that we are bottle feeding. We have both been able to take responsibility for feedings and diapers...etc. My hubbie is even taking leave from work to spend 5 weeks with the LO. He's so looking froward to it! (Starts on Monday)
Good luck!