Old lady with bad timing

Janie2725

The old lady next door is so nice, but she drives me crazy.

She is always asking my husband to come over and fix stuff for her.  Which is fine.  Her son lives too far away and if she needs something heavy moved, no big deal. BUT she always knocks on the door at dinner time.  AND she makes it sound like it something simple.  "Just move this one thing to this other room."  But my husband ends up moving four different pieces of furniture. 

Last week she came and knocked on the door right as I was putting supper on the table. She just needed him to move one piece of furniture from her living room to the back of her truck.  Well DH went and didn't come back for an hour.  He moved all sorts of stuff for her and dinner went cold.

Tonight she asked him to come over and do something.  I'm not sure what because I couldn't hear.  Whatever it was, she said it was something small.  Well dinner has been sitting on the table for 30 mins, going cold again!

She such a nice lady, she just has really bad timing.  And I wish she'd be a bit more honest about what she's going to ask him to do.

wife1014

While I completely agree with bad timing, why doesn't your DH just say "we are just about to sit for dinner, I will come over after we eat".  It is so nice of him to be helping her, I don't see anything wrong with her waiting 20 minutes.

KathrynBurkart

That is a bummer. At least if it was something that would take more than 5 minutes she could ask what time/day works best for him? I highly doubt all that stuff needs to be moved around ASAP. Your situation kind of reminds me of the movie Duplex but not nearly as bad, thankfully!

monkiem

Umm...the next time she knocks on your door, make your DH understand that although YOU understand that she is old, and needs help from time to time, when it's something that turns into a consistent request, and needs to be done ASAP?  Absolutely not. 

Has she done anything as a THANK YOU for your DH for being so helpful?

And yes, she needs to be honest about asking for favours.

I wouldn't do any more favours for her - maybe I'm a mean bitty, but in my book, a person only has a certain amount of favours - especially they are not being repaid.  You know, the old barter system.  I help you move a piece of furniture, you can help me feed the dog when I'm out of town, etc.  Basically, the "Scratch my back, I'll scratch yours" mentality.

Tell your DH that he needs to not be so nice.

Jeane_P

That's nice that your DH helps her out so much.  Is there anyway that he can just tell her that he will come over to her place after dinner?

PubStar09

wife1014:

While I completely agree with bad timing, why doesn't your DH just say "we are just about to sit for dinner, I will come over after we eat".  It is so nice of him to be helping her, I don't see anything wrong with her waiting 20 minutes.

Seriously. 

BeckyTheEngineer

Yeah, that sucks.  Maybe you could drop hints to her about what time you guys have dinner (like if you see her in the morning say "I'm excited to have ham tonight when DH gets home at 6").  Or, see if maybe you could do stuff at a certain time, like say in passing that you guys like to do housework on Saturday mornings, so if she needs anything, you are usually around then.

 If all else fails, don't answer the door (as long as you have good curtains).

Bandia12

wife1014:

While I completely agree with bad timing, why doesn't your DH just say "we are just about to sit for dinner, I will come over after we eat".  It is so nice of him to be helping her, I don't see anything wrong with her waiting 20 minutes.

This. He can politely tell her it will have to wait until after dinner time.

moonrose2715

wife1014:

While I completely agree with bad timing, why doesn't your DH just say "we are just about to sit for dinner, I will come over after we eat".  It is so nice of him to be helping her, I don't see anything wrong with her waiting 20 minutes.

This.

He can help and not say no, but it does not need to happen right that second.  He could also say "I'm happy to help but can this happen on ____ (day)".  If he feels bad at least the after dinner quote isn't very much of a delay.

jgal84

Personally, I think she's taking advantage of your family's kindness. DH should let her know that he can help her when it's convenient for him (as in, AFTER dinner).

Lizzie65

wife1014:

While I completely agree with bad timing, why doesn't your DH just say "we are just about to sit for dinner, I will come over after we eat".  It is so nice of him to be helping her, I don't see anything wrong with her waiting 20 minutes.

This. 

cybergal5184

TBH I don't answer my door to anyone unless I'm expecting someone.  Everyone I wish to speak to has my phone # or email and can call and make arrangements.  But I live in a suburb where it's possible to stay anonymous.  Hubby sounds like a sweet pushover is all.

jimmyswife220

do you live next door to me because we have that neighbor too! Our old lady, Alice, is famous for that! She is constantly coming over and asking dh to do things for her, and wants it done RIGHT NOW! We had a ton of snow this winter and he was always shoveling for her. Honestly I'll bet he spent like 5-6 hrs shoveling for her in the month of Feb. and she came over once with $5.00 to pay him for it all. He really doesn't mind helping and did not want to take her money, but I feel like she is really taking advantage of him. When we first moved in, the first day we met her she found out I was a nurse and asked me everyday for 3 weeks twice daily to put her eye drops in for her!

kibbyy75

wife1014:

While I completely agree with bad timing, why doesn't your DH just say "we are just about to sit for dinner, I will come over after we eat".  It is so nice of him to be helping her, I don't see anything wrong with her waiting 20 minutes.

 

I agree!  And maybe she times it this way on purpose - I bet she is hoping for a dinner invite!

kimtritz

Ugh. I hate neighbors like that. 

My husband is the same way, just... too nice. There's no harm in making the lady wait until after dinnertime. And if she doesn't like it, oh well. It's not your jobs to move her furniture.  

neferhathor

jimmyswife220:

do you live next door to me because we have that neighbor too! Our old lady, Alice, is famous for that! She is constantly coming over and asking dh to do things for her, and wants it done RIGHT NOW! We had a ton of snow this winter and he was always shoveling for her. Honestly I'll bet he spent like 5-6 hrs shoveling for her in the month of Feb. and she came over once with $5.00 to pay him for it all. He really doesn't mind helping and did not want to take her money, but I feel like she is really taking advantage of him. When we first moved in, the first day we met her she found out I was a nurse and asked me everyday for 3 weeks twice daily to put her eye drops in for her!

hahaha! now THAT really sounds like Duplex!?

Overwild

Maybe by coming over at dinner every time she is trying to see if she can get invited in, not (to her) in an intrusive way but maybe she just wants some company while your husband rearranges her house?  I agree with having her wait until the meal is complete at the least.