Not sure how to feel anymore.

mrsjparker

I finally saw the pathology report after my D&C nearly a month ago.  There was only placental tissue and sac..."no fetal parts."  Now I feel a little better knowing that there wasn't a physical baby that died or stopped developing...no chance that there was any pain.  But I'm also still extremely sad about the loss.  And both feel wrong.  I was in love with a baby that didn't exist.  How can that be?  I feel like I shouldn't be allowed to be sad anymore.  I mean, there was never a baby to lose, right?  Then why does it hurt so much?

myst33

A loss is a loss and you have every right to grieve.  I'm so sorry you're going through this. 

Zed58

You didn't know there was no baby.  You believed with all of your heart that you were going to be a mommy and there was a baby growing inside of you.  Like pp said - a loss is a loss. You have every right to be filled with mixed emotions and sadness right now.  I am so sorry for you.

BlakeG

I had a blighted ovum so there was no fetus just a sac.  It doesn't matter though.  That was still the beginnings of my baby.  I'm one of those people that believes its a baby at conception so for me I say I lost my baby not my empty sac.  It was a baby to me, just at it's earliest stages of development.  It's ok to greive for your loss.  You not only lose the physical baby but you lose all the plans and hopes you had with the loss of the pregnancy.  I would have been due 1 week before by neice's first birthday and was excited to have them grow up together so close in age and I am so sad that won't be.  I would have had my baby this Christmas but now I won't.  Our whole lives change the second we get a BFP and we need to grieve for the loss of that as well as the loss of our beautiful babies.  Allow yourself to feel whatever comes natural and know we are here to listen.

SassyMamainVA

I'm so sorry.  You have every right to grieve.  It's a loss, and a terrible one at that.  Take all the time you need to go through the healing process.  Sending you lots of hugs.