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armourall
member
So I'm going to post on here
armourall
member
Cause I guess I fit here best. I'm still married but I've been parenting on my own since DD was born. DH has been involved a tiny bit (physically not emotionally), but he's been gone most of the time.
He came back the week before last after being gone for a week, I told him that this was it, that if he relapsed I was done trying. He didn't come home after his AA meeting last monday, I told him we were done, that I thought a divorce would be best. He begged me no, to just seperate for now. I told him no cantact.
He called today from the house, says he's done getting f***ed up and wants to talk when I get home. I've heard it all before and I don't want to invest too much emotion into this. I love him when he's clean, I hate him when he's using... I don't want this emotional roller coaster anymore, not for DD. One day she'll know what's going on and that's my worst nightmare.
How did you ladies finally put your foot down?
God, grant me the courage to change the things I can.
This discussion has been closed.
Re: So I'm going to post on here
Just out of curiousity-is it alcohol or drugs or both?
My STBXH is on meth. I believe he still is, of course he says he is not but has yet to take a drug test. I found needles, meth and a burnt spoon in his truck and that was it for me. I kicked him out that day. Of course there was a lot of other things such as cheating, basically another life, but I put my foot down at the drug use.
I recommend Al-Anon and counseling. I think both have helped me a lot. You will know when you are truly done with it. Addicts can be incredibly manipulative so be careful of that. GL and keep us posted!
It used to be both, but he began to have grandmal siezures from alcohol withdrawl a couple years ago, and is to afraid to go back to drinking. Meth is his DOC, and of course pot, with his last relapse he's gone back to heroin... I feel like I've already given up on this marriage, we are going to start counseling. I do attend Al-anon and I know that myself and DD are the only people I can make decisions for.
I'm ready for a divorce... kinda, it's hard to forget how good our marriage is when he's not using, I've never been more comfortable and happy around someone in my entire life than I am during those times. Like you said though additcs are manipulative, and I really do know that this cycle needs to end. I don't ever want to have to explain to DD that daddy is sick and can't come home.
This means you probably aren't 100% sure. Until you know you are ready I wouldn't make any decisions. If you are trying counseling that is good. Maybe it is over, but you need to be totally sure for your own sake and for the sake of DD. I am very sorry to hear that you are going through this. It is a completely maddening, frustrating thing. I know. We are all here for you and if you ever just want to discuss things one on one feel free to PM me.
Also, be cautious and I say this mostly because of the meth. It is a very dangerous drug and they do things that they wouldn't when they aren't in their right mind.
From a child of a drunk. Leave him. My mom always stayed with my dad - and i started to hate her more than him. She had the power to keep him away from us and didn't. To us - that meant she loved him more (even with the drunk crap) more than she did her own kids.
She finally left him - in the end but it was not soon enough. We were grown by then.
Addicts know how to make everyone around them feel guilty about stuff - they will do it to your kids.