*~*~*~* DE / GC check-in *~*~*~*

BRSaugust20

This group is open to anyone who has already gone through de/surrogacy, are in the process of it, or plan on doing it in the future.  GRADUATES ARE WELCOME AND ENCOURAGED TO POST!  If you?d like to be added to this group, please reply to this message and I?ll make sure to add you for next week.  I?ll be posting this check-in every Tuesday morning. 

 

***** If you are a donor or interested in donating, we would be happy to answer questions.  Please start a new post with ?Question for the DE ladies? as the title ******

 

Status Update:  Where are you currently with the de/surrogacy process? 

 

QOTD:    Did you pursue any type of counseling before deciding on DE? 

 

 

 

ANNOUNCEMENT: BathinginBitter has started a PRIVATE Facebook (meaning no one can see it in your feed, that your are a member, etc.) for the ladies from IF and SAIF who used donor egg/embryos or donor sperm.  If you would like to join, please page Bathing in Bitter and ask to friend her on FB so she can invite you to the group.  This might be a nice way to keep in touch in a more private setting and address issues that may arise down the road.

 

***** Sending good vibes to  RachelD83 and Mrsbellalee who are in their 2ww.  Can?t wait to hear great ultrasound news from GymDogFran and MarriedaSportsNut. ******

 

 

 

Welcome to the lurkers!!  We hope you don?t have to join but will welcome you with open arms if you do.  Let us know if we can answer any questions.

 

 

In 2ww

RachelD83 ? lining check on 4/1/10, FET should be 4/6/10

Mrsbellalee ? FET BFN on 10/26 - BFN, in 2ww

 

 

In Cycle

Hollymichael (OE)? on stims

Juliannat ? donor on stims

Onedaychristinak ? POF, FET in May, doing a mock cycle now

 

Waiting to Cycle

2linesn09 ? BFP w/gc but ended in miscarriage

BathinginBitter ? DE consult on 4/29/10

Denise ? pursuing DE

JM1977 ? decided on clinic, looking at donors Only Hope ? DE consult on 11/30/09

M&MBride0506 ? hoping to use her sister and an egg donor and gestational carrier in September

Militarywife2b ? consult on 12/22/09, possibly needs de and ds (DH to repeat SA)

Scatterbrainliz ? pursuing DE but currently saving up for the procedure

SunMoon&Stars ? BFN on July 2009 cycle, waiting to cycle using frozen eggs

svp1537 ? waiting for negative beta so she can move on to DE!

 

Looking into options

Hoping4more ? hoping to have sister provide eggs and be a carrier for her

ked1068 ? pursuing adoption!!!

Mel0569 ? participated in Egg Freezing program ? BFN, hoping to cycle again in the Spring

MontyMrs (OE) ? trying with OE a couple of more times before pursuing DE

Mgoodr1 ? hoping to use friend as a surrogate due to health issues

Oct14 ? DE IVF #1 = cp, DE FET = BFN, looking into a consult with CCRM

RFBsbride ? BFN on 1^st attempt, BFN on FET, might be moving on with donor embryos

 

 

 

*~*~*Graduates*~*~*

Arb212 ? BFP on 1^st attempt (boy/girl twins)!!!! Babies born on 2/9/10!

Ashley ? BFP w/gestational carrier ? baby girl. 2^nd Trimester!

AXLbaby ? BFP on 1^st attempt (baby girl)!!! Due on 12/10/09.

Cat2 ? BFP on 1^st attempt with donor (singleton)!

BRSAugust20 ? BFP (singleton) due 8/2/10, 2nd trimester

Dansbride06 ? BFP (baby boy)!!!  Tanner is here!

Epphd ? BFP (baby boy)!!!  Nubbin is here!!!

Floridakat (own eggs) ? twins!  2nd trimester

Futuremom2b ? BFP (twin girls)!!!  Born on 11/27/09!!!!

GymDogFran ? (frozen egg program), two great betas! 1^st trimester

HopeCounts ? BFP on FET (singleton)!! 1^st trimester

Jenn-N-Jay ? BFP (singleton)!! 1^st trimester

jmn69 ? cancelled FET cycle, may try again in spring, already has twins from DE!

MarriedaSportsNut ? BFP! First Ultrasound on 4/21/10 1^st trimester

KoCoLoCo ? BFP w/gestational carrier (1^st attempt) ?boy/girl twins born August 2009!!!

LBR_NJ ? BFP (girl)!!! Alana arrived on 12/9/09.

pst8 ? BFP using her sister as a gestational carrier - Due in February

Vet-Tech ? BFP with donor embryos

 

 

Haven?t heard from you in a while ? we miss you!

2linesplease ? looking into DE options, will be moving ahead in a few months

BBLindy ? looking into DE options

Davesmisha ? hoping to do an FET with donor embryos in October

Justsayjo ? considering DE with a known donor, may be switching clinics

Simplelove03 ? on hold with DE  

Teacherholly ? in 2ww, beta on 8/18

Njgreneyz ? Has had 4 failed iui?s and 3 failed ivfs; looking into GC options (w/own eggs)

BRSaugust20

QOTD:  DH and I met with a counselor together when deciding whether to pursue DE or adoption.  Other than that, not really.  The support I get from this board and SAIF and the DE ladies who went before me helped tremendously.  I haven't ruled out needing counseling down the road after our baby makes its arrival (which hopefully happens without complications) in order to deal with emotions that come up or to seek additional guidance about telling our child.

Update: Hit 24 weeks yesterday!  One one hand, I am so relieved.  On the other, I know based on some of the recents losses on SAIF that it is still not a guarantee of a take home baby.  And to AW a little further, here is a pic!  Still just look pudgy to strangers but the bump is starting to make itself known.

scatterbrainliz

Status Update:  Where are you currently with the de/surrogacy process? 
We were just presented with a loan option from my ILs to start the process and I posted about it cause there's some reservations.

 

QOTD:    Did you pursue any type of counseling before deciding on DE? No, it was a choice that I thought sounded good for us as it would give me the experience of having a pregnancy.  It would provide me bonding with my unborn baby as it's those feelings I've never had with my adopted mother.  That bond is so special which I want to experience.  Once we start the process, counseling is included in the package.

svp1537

QOTD: You were my counselor :-) I think I probably spoke to you the most about it, and then my RE and IVF nurse, and then the nurse at the donor agency. Now that we are in the process of DE, we have met with a psychologist as part of our DE IVF plan from my RE.

Update: Moving right along, but I kind of feel like we are coming to a standstill. Donor has agreed to our legal contract, so that has been signed and made official. We have one more session with our therapist tomorrow night, and then dh & I have just a few blood tests/ exams that we need to take care of. Testing on the 16th & 29th and then we are done, provided everything comes back normal!

Donor is supposed to get AF the weekend of the 24th and then she will go in to my RE for her day 3 bw and u/s and get her protocol!!!!

BRSaugust20

S - you are a doll for saying that. I hope our emails have helped and I meant it when I offered to talk on the phone!

Liz - I hope you can work out what to do about the loan. I saw some good suggestions in your other post (discussing expectations from both sides, writing a contract).  I can relate to doing DE at 40. I got my BFP a week after my 40th birthday.  I told DH to hold off buying me anything because if it was a BFN, he should take the money and drive me directly to the therapist's office and I would stay there until it ran out.

juliannat

QOTD: nope - the women here (esp. BRS, ephdd, LBR_NJ) were and continue to be my counsellors. We did have a psych appt at the clinic but it felt more like a formality. Update: donor should have started stims on Sun. I may or may not get an update on Thursday. I have b/w on thurs then we fly to Denver Sunday for hopeful ER Apr 20 or 21. Eek!!!! GL to our 2ww!

MRSBELLALEE

Status:  Well after a really up and down cycle with this donor we transfer 1 embryo on 4/10 which was a 6day transfer.  I was so upset and the DR. gave us a 55% chance of pregnancy.  And to top it off we only had one freeze.  I feel like that was a bad cycle. I am trying to stay strong and I know this little one will be the one!!!

QOTD: Yes we saw someone at the clinic.

Good luck to everyone!!!  Congrats GymDog Fran and Marriedasportsnut.

GymDogFran

We saw two sacs today!!  No heartbeat seen yet, but they are not concerned.  I go back in two weeks and hopefully see the heartbeats then.  There was what appeared to be a tiny little yolk sac much smaller than the others inside baby As gestational sac.  There not sure that it was a third one, but they say, if so, it is most likely not going to make it.  I thought maybe something like that was going on since my numbers were so high and we only transferred two.

QOTW:  We did formal counseling as part of the DE process at the clinic and then we did one session to discuss our thoughts/differences on who and when to tell.  Honestly, we were already 'there' by the time we did counseling for DE that it wasn't that helpful.  I had already made up my mind that I wanted this, thanks in part to reading the wonderful stories here.  And the second session was just part of the larger conversation DH and I were already having.

RachelD83

Update - The 2WW is torture!!

QOTD: DH and I went to a counseling at our clinic. I'm really glad we did as she helped us talk through a lot of things that were already on our minds. She also talked to us about how to approach everything with our DE children and gave us some children's books recommendations.

onedaychristinak

Status Update:  Just finishing up my Mock Cycle.  Praying for good lining this next time around.  I expect AF next week of so.  Then starting all my Estrogen and also Viagra.  Just found out insurance is not covering the Viagra.  My RE is trying to work that out with insurance. 

QOTD:  I did not go to counseling.  Although, I thought about it.  I still think I may in the future.  I have decided as of recently to start journaling on a regular basis.  I look forward to sharing this journal with my child one day.  It will be a good opportunity to share what I am feeling/thinking during this process and also provide me with some therepy myself!

Congrats to all you recent BFP's and positive vibes going out to all you 2WW!

hollymichael

QOTD: We have not gone to any counseling. If the clinic requires it, we will do it, but we won't do any otherwise.  We are both on the same page and feel good about our decision to move on to DE so I don't feel it is needed.

Update: First follie check tomorrow (cycling with OE). I don't expect to hear good news, but hope to be pleasantly surprised.

JM1977

QOTD: I went to therapy for awhile before we decided on DE.  I just needed support to get through the emotional trials of IF.  My husband went with me a few times, and I think it was good for both of us.  Now that we are to this point, we are feeling more hopeful than we have in a long time.  We were ready! 

I also echo the other posters who say that the DE women on this board have been a huge source of inspiration for me - you have made this seem possible!

Update: We have our initial DE appointment on Friday.  Excited and nervous - it's starting to seem real!