Ok, so I find this completely bizarre and a little disconcerting, but I have no clue what to say to her. She has brought this up several times and I want her to just stop it, but again, I find it so bizarre. I don't know what to say or do because I think it is the weirdest thing to talk about. I come from a family of all girls, and I can say that it is probably a good thing my mom never had a boy because she has about zero working knowledge of the male population (any age).
So, apparently my mother has heard from a friend that baby boys can get "hard ons" as she calls them and for some reason this concerns her immensely. I have never heard of this, but if it is true, then I don't see what the big deal is anyways. I would figure it's normal because they can't help it (if it is even true). Plus, I figure I will learn how to parent as I go along, but to me, a normal physiological response is a complete non-issue. Then, she told me that she saw a three year old asleep in his stroller at the mall "with his hand in his pants!" and this shocked her even more. Needless to say, she and I have very different ideas on how to raise children, and while I agree that you should teach a three year old not to touch himself in public, my mom's reaction seemed overboard. I just think it is odd that she feels the need to bring this up to me and I find it a little disturbing that she felt the need to tell me, like she thought I would be shocked and disturbed.
Oy vey. It is just a very odd situation and I don't even know what to say to her. It bugs me that she seems so intent on letting me know about this possible "problem," (which I don't see as one), and then telling me how I should handle it. She never had boys (and neither have I, until bug), and it bothers me that she is telling me about "concerns" that I may have with my son, like he is some foreign creature. He is not, he is an innocent, unborn child, and he deserves privacy and respect even from birth, not to be talked about like he is an alien. I guess I just don't want her to say anything to him or discipline him for behavior that she thinks is wrong. Maybe I am borrowing trouble. I am bewildered that she even brought this up to me. Does anyone have any advice or opinions??
Re: LONG: concerns my mother has over raising boys (warning very odd)
I agree with this!
Also doesnt she know that girls also are curious about their bodies just as much as boys are? I have seen 2 and 3 year old boys put their hands in their pants to 'play'. However I also know of 2 and 3 years old little girls who will rub up against stuff(like when they are in their car seat/stroller with a strap between their legs).
Its normal
, 💙💙💙💙💙💙
haha! I scratch my head sometimes. I agree that she needs to be educated. She is doing well, she even bought a book about bringing up boys ("so she can understand them better"), so I know she is really trying. Should I say anything to her when/if she brings this subject up again? I have never raised a boy so I suppose I am just not sure how to respond to her except to say, "Can you please stop talking about this? I think DH and I will handle it just fine." Sometimes that makes her push something even more, though, hence my hesitation.
vegan mama, military wife
Your post made me chuckle a little bit. I am a 2nd grade teacher and have 9 boys in my class. They all like to play, what my husband calls "pocket pool", especially when they wear nylon pants. I pretty much see it daily even though they try and be descreate from their other classmates. I think your mom would seriously pass out if she saw this.
Your mom needs to relax. Yes, boys do this, and yes it is compltley natural. There is nothing to worry about, and I am sure as a parent you will help guide him and teach him.
Don't worry about what your mom says, she has no background information to back this off of, and she is lettting her imagination get the best of her.
Also, as someone who has been around many young boys...getting hard on's happens a lot...even for infants. There is really nothing to worry about.
A kiss he will never forget- Disney World 2014
yes baby boys have erections, it happens very frequently in the first few weeks, and calms down. it made me realize that it isnt something boys can control
BTW DS's first body part that he knows the name and can say it is pee pee...I think its cute. When he gets older we will have to talk to him about good times/bad times to talk about it, or touch it....but thats far off.
your mom sounds a little cooky, and I would ignore her comments. When your son is born all of this will go away. and if by chance it doesnt, you 'll have to time to figure out how to handle her....
vegan mama, military wife
Are ya'll planning on using the correct terminology regarding his penis or giving it a nickname? My mother is appalled that we will be saying penis or vagina. I think you may need to sit down with her, and possibly any mothers of boys to quell her fears. Obviously she is concerned about this, and it she is ever alone with him, in the park/mall/even at home, etc, ya'll need to be on the same page about how to react and what to say.
Yes, DH and I will be using correct terminology. Now, I need to figure out how to get on the same page with her...but that should be easier to navigate once DS is born.
vegan mama, military wife
DD1 born 5/24/10.
Missed M/C at 14 wks Feb 2012.
DD2 born 5/14/13.
Missed M/C at 9 wks July 2015.
We have taught DS the correct terminology, and will do so with this LO also. DS knows he has a penis. He also knows that girls have a vagina (after asking me if I had a penis, and then followed by asking what I have).
I'm sorry for you! You're mom is too funny. Yes, boys get "hard ons" from day one, its totally normal. And YES, boys play with their junk, its totally normal. I don't have a daughter, but my friends say that play with their junk just as much, its just a part of growing up.
I would never discipline my boys for playing with it, I couldn't imagine the horrible effects it could have on them in the future. I simply tell them "get your hands out of your pants"! My boys run around and show off thier penis' to each other and try to grab one another's, but so does my brother's sons (he has three as well).
Its a phase and they will get through it.