Mothers of full term babies shut your mouth...

KickFace6

Ok. So here is the deal. Lol. I have a friend who's little sis had a child born at full term. He is 6 days younger then my DS. My friend goes on and on and on about how her nephew can do this already, and is doing this, will get to do this, is this big. I just want to punch her in the face. DS JUST started to smile regularly but her nephew has been doing it for a few weeks now...

The last time she was going on and on and on I said "I get it! Your sister has an amazingly over developed baby!"

How do I tell her nicely that I love hearing about her nephew but some times it gets hard because my DS isn't there. And the only thing I can really brag about that she could be jelous of is my DS got to wear all his clothing where her nephew had to get rid of most (9lb 6oz baby is what he was).

Anyone else dealing with this or am I just self centered?

KickFace6

I guess one thing I do have is DS HATES to be swaddled. He has for several weeks. I know that normally babies like to be swaddled till like 4+ months. SO GO DS!

BabyG_

I haven't had to deal with this because I'm pretty aggressive about letting people know that they will get b***h-slapped if they try to compare my preemie to their full-term baby.

If I had to do it nicely though, I would probably say that I don't appreciate the comparison especially since she knows that your son was born early.  I don't think you're being self-centered at all.  We all go through those feelings.

msalinardi@live.com

LOL! I learned very early on to not even try to compare my LO to babies close to her actual age because that just became annoying and frustrating. We decided that we wouldn't stress about where my LO was at developmentally; that she would get there at her own time and she has. My DD is 11 months old and the past 2 months have been crazy developmentally. She has learned to sit up, crawl, pull herself up to standing and sitting position all in a matter of about 6 weeks. Of course her cousin was doing all this at 7 months old, but if you think about it my DD is about 7.5-8 months old adjusted. Don't let it get to you! It's defiently annoying though!

PeridotEyes

Actually, I think your baby sounds pretty advanced! My LO didn't start smiling regularly until 3 months and the doc was impressed with that!

 

Until you've had a preemie,  you just can't understand. {{hugs}}

Denesdia

That is an awesome post title.  I needed a good laugh.  Thank you.  And, yes, people are idiots.

Lavender444

Is she comparing or just proud of her nephew? If she is making comparsons I would tell her to STFU but if she is just a proud auntie I would try to let it roll off your back. I know it's hard but you are probably going to encounter that with lots of different people. Just remember that preemies and ful lterm babies work are on different playing fields.

mommamorris

i have had to say to a few friends, and relatives, exactly what your last paragraph said. just that it's hard for me to share their joy because my daughter isn't doing the things they're children are doing. (this goes for the "oh, she isn't doing that yet?" comments too..."my daughter was doing that at 6 months old." blah!)

they have all been really understanding... and i do remind them, conversationally, of her adjusted age etc.. and that preemies are usually slower to do things.

sometimes people are just tactless or thoughtless- and don't mean anything by it. ditto the comment above "unless you've had a preemie, you just can't understand". 

Sweets2005

I just remind people casually of their adjusted age. But no one has really done any comparisons to my kids. I don't get offended when people talk about their termie's milestones because I know my children and developing normally on their own (adjusted) schedule and I am just enjoying my kids for who they are now. I am so proud of them that I could just burst and nobody can bring me down from that!

Bippy798

One of the girls I work with has a niece that was born full term about a week after Aiden. It does get old hearing about her even if it is mostly via Facebook. I feel like such a grump. And no she is not even comparing him just a proud Aunt is all. I don't know if I will ever get past the anger and sadness that I wasn't able to have my picture perfect pregnancy and take my son home from the hospital with me. Humpf!

gwenypher7

I think you said it perfectly in the last paragraph. That doesn't seem rude or self-centered to me. If I were you, I'd say it just like that the next time she's bragging.

Sorry you're having to deal with that