OK now Im scared

CaitlinJ22

after reading mlf625's post below about her husband leaving for a week, I am scared of what will happen when DD is born. DH works on an drilling rig for 3 wks, and then is home for 3 wks. Its awesome when he's home, but when he's gone its not great, but we have managed and keep busy. His job affords me to stay home with DS and right now its not a good time to look for a new job. oh and when dd is born he should be home for at least the first 2-3 wks. plus my mom will be in town for 10 days. but thats it.

anyway, I am terrified about being alone with 2 kids 18 months apart. Especially the first few months. We currently have no family in town, my sister BIL and 3 litte kids are moving 45 mins away from us soon, but i dont know how much help they will be. Its more of a comfort that they will be here. 

I have great friends, but they all have kids and sometimes its hard to bother them. (though they are always helping out when they can) 

Tell me im not gonna die!?

oh and we just had a horrible stomach bug and Dh is gone. I needed to go to the hospital, we barely made it through the day--and did thanks to a great friend--- but I wish there was a way to guarantee I wont get sick with two kids to take care of.... 

ugh I am freaking, someone talk me down... 

Temp984666312503071

You aren't alone.

My DH is military and we are moving to a new duty station 3-4 months after this baby is due.  Somewhere far from family, where we will know noone, and he will be in a deployable status.  I am terrified.  But we won't die.  We'll make it.

Telyco

Out of curiosity - what were your feelings on this before you tried to have another baby? Has anything changed? I would try to get back to that point mentally.

I mean, it's not like you just shouldn't have kids with your DH's working OOT....but if you aren't set up to accomodate for that - should you try change something?

I hope this doesn't sound snarky...just wondering.

CaitlinJ22

Telyco:

Out of curiosity - what were your feelings on this before you tried to have another baby? Has anything changed? I would try to get back to that point mentally.

I mean, it's not like you just shouldn't have kids with your DH's working OOT....but if you aren't set up to accomodate for that - should you try change something?

I hope this doesn't sound snarky...just wondering.

it does sound snarky. And im kinda down right now bc of all thats happened this past week.

I know I can handle 2 u 2...Im just having a moment. the benefits of his job right now of him being away outweigh the negatives. His salary is awesome, I can stay home, his time off is amazing - he spends 3 wks straight with us, and our families are slowly moving here. changing jobs now would cut his salary in half, and if they were to let someone go it would be the new guy...we cant risk that. 

 Believe me I have thought of everything, and this is kinda what we are given right now. If I had waited to have more kids I wouldve had to wait a while, and thats not something we wanted to do. 

I get your point, I shouldnt complain since we wanted to be pg again. But sometimes you have to.  

 

 

Lovin Wife

There are days that I too think - WOW, can I do this?  But WE CAN =-)!  One day at a time, sometimes it will be even one minute at a time.  I actually think you feeling worried/stressed about it is a good thing - it means you want to be the best mother possible to your children and wife to your husband.  Vent here all you want, that's what we are here for!  And tomorrow you will feel better. 

CaitlinJ22

Lovin Wife:

There are days that I too think - WOW, can I do this?  But WE CAN =-)!  One day at a time, sometimes it will be even one minute at a time.  I actually think you feeling worried/stressed about it is a good thing - it means you want to be the best mother possible to your children and wife to your husband.  Vent here all you want, that's what we are here for!  And tomorrow you will feel better. 

Thank you 

Telyco

CaitlinJ22:

Telyco:

Out of curiosity - what were your feelings on this before you tried to have another baby? Has anything changed? I would try to get back to that point mentally.

I mean, it's not like you just shouldn't have kids with your DH's working OOT....but if you aren't set up to accomodate for that - should you try change something?

I hope this doesn't sound snarky...just wondering.

it does sound snarky. And im kinda down right now bc of all thats happened this past week.

I know I can handle 2 u 2...Im just having a moment. the benefits of his job right now of him being away outweigh the negatives. His salary is awesome, I can stay home, his time off is amazing - he spends 3 wks straight with us, and our families are slowly moving here. changing jobs now would cut his salary in half, and if they were to let someone go it would be the new guy...we cant risk that. 

 Believe me I have thought of everything, and this is kinda what we are given right now. If I had waited to have more kids I wouldve had to wait a while, and thats not something we wanted to do. 

I get your point, I shouldnt complain since we wanted to be pg again. But sometimes you have to.  

Don't worry, you'll be fine!

 

aldyn

First of all, it's amazing what we can adapt to.  You are fully capable, on your own, for caring for two kids while your husband is away.  Yes, there will be times when it will really suck, but it won't be like that 100% of the time.

Do you have any mom groups in the area that you can join?  I'm part of one and I'm finding the other moms to be extremely supportive and willing to lend a helping hand when needed.

CaitlinJ22

aldyn:

Do you have any mom groups in the area that you can join?  I'm part of one and I'm finding the other moms to be extremely supportive and willing to lend a helping hand when needed.

 thank you for your words. 

I have a great group of moms that are wonderful, as our their husbands in offering support in terms of car issues etc. I also just joined an organized mom's grp too.

I wouldnt be sane without my playgroup friends.  

jlpaul03

My husband works 12-14 hour days a lot of the time so there are many weeks when he doesn't get to see either of the kids.  There are rough times- like when we all got sick when the new baby was 2 weeks old and no one was sleeping or when my teething 1 year old is melting down while I need to sit down and nurse the baby.  I pray about our day A LOT!  And I try to look at all the exciting things that are going on with the kids instead of all the hard things.  Also, baby #2 was WAY easier to adjust to than baby #1 so you will probably get into a groove much sooner.  Good luck! You can handle it!!