What happened when you seeked help?

JameRoo430

Okay so I have 5 months PP and for about the last 4 months I have had PPD.  At first I thought it was just stress, then when it was everyday and lasting and I felt so disconnected and didn't feel like I had the energy to care anymore than I needed to, I realized I had the problem, but I kept thinking I could get through it on my own.

   It's 5 months PP now and I only have breakdowns once or twice a week now, but when I do I have these horrible, irrational thoughts about how my DH and DS would be better off without me and I should just leave and then I realize there is nowhere to go where I wouldn't feel horribly guilty and I would be better off not here at all (I would NEVER hurt myself and I would definitely, DEFINITELY NEVER hurt my baby, DH or anyone else), but these are thoughts I would NEVER think normally and I feel so guilty for thinking them.  I'm pretty sure this is PPD because of that but only once or twice a week, well is it or is that normal? Is a Dr just going to laugh in my face 5 months PP?

   Also, I hate the idea of medication but maybe I need it to get over the bump but I really don't want to go get professional help because I'm worried on how much insurance will cover.  I have my pap next week I was thinking of asking my OB then, what can I expect?

charmcitygirl

I made my cry for help at 7 months PP!  No one is going to laugh at you for seeking out help - even if it is a few months later than you should have!

Call your OB and see what can be done.  Perhaps some meds and therapy would help.  My OB recommended a psychiatrist who specializes in PPD and PPA.

I was only having outbursts a couple of times a week, but I knew that I didn't like how I was feeling and wanted to make a change.  Really...admitting to it and making myself open to help has made an enormous difference.

It is not something that is easy to admit, but once you do...you will get the help you need!  Good luck!

JameRoo430

Thank you.  That's really good to know and nice to know that someone went in for a couple of outbursts a week.  I thought depression meant you were depressed all the time but when I do have my downs they are just so far down that I don't even feel like it's me, but when I'm not having a down I feel like a more stressed out version of my old self.