one more s/o: bedtime and family time.

CleoKitty

What time do you and/or your spouse get home from work in the evening? Once you're all home in the evening how much time do you have together until your children typically go to bed?

I've always found that this is our biggest stumbling block to getting the kids to bed earlier...

DandelionMom

That is the problem with the early bedtime.  DH is usually home for dinner at 5:45 and that means Gracie only sees him for a little over an hour at night.  He's the one who usually reads her stories and puts her to bed so he has some quality time with her.  He also often has breakfast with us and is up with her in the morning.

hikerbeth

Either DH is traveling, or he's working from home.  If he's here, we shoot to have dinner as a family around 6 pm and he tries to stay off the computer until DD goes to bed at 8 or 8:30.

mamarazzi

Well, I SAH now, so I'm with the kids all day.  H gets home around 5:30.  He usually plays with the boys while I finish getting dinner on the table.  We play for a bit after dinner and then do baths (H and I trade off nights).  Andersen goes to bed around 7:30.  Law hangs out with us for another half hour or so and then he goes to bed around 8, sometimes a little later.

So, H sees the kids a max of 2 to 3 hours a night.

Mrs.Tony

I get home anywhere from 5:30 to 6. I am with MH and kids at that time. MH goes to bed around 7/8 as he works nights. We have a horrible schedule! I hate it but am mostly used to it at this point.

DevonPow

DH doesn't get home until 8:30 or 9 PM most nights, and DS goes to bed at 7:45. DH basically doesn't see DS on weekdays (maybe 5 minutes in the morning, but a lot of time he is out the door before DS gets up at 7:15 or so). It stinks, but DS's bedtime is what it is (he is a bear if he stays up later, and the times we have kep him up late for special occassions he wakes the next day at the crack of dawn - it throws him off for days).

I think a lot of this whole debate depends on the kid. If DS was the type of kid who would sleep later the next morning after staying up late, I would be a lot more flexible with his bedtime when necessary, but he isn't. He really relies on a schedule, so we stick with it.

DevonPow

oh, and I stay home with DS so I get lots of time with him, lol. We are both ready to have some alone time by the time 7:30 rolls around...

shouldbworkin

I'm home between 5:30 and 6, and DH is home by 6:30.  Kids are in bed between 8 and 8:30.  We maximize every minute.  We eat dinner together as a family, we're starting to clean up together, we will either do baths or an activity in the evening (now we're getting outside to play) and then we read books before bed. I leave most of the cleaning and preping for the next day until they're in bed.

hopefulmom

I'm a SAHM but in the winter DH doesn't get home until 7 or after...so only about an hour.  In the summer he gets home by 5:30-6 so there is more time for outside play, etc.  He "could" be home by 4:30 (he is only scheduled to work until 3:30 pm) but he is a workaholic engineer for GM so I'm happy he comes home a bit earlier in the summer.  I think he "likes" being at work rather than home entertaining or disciplining the kids.  It has always been that way...even with the older kids.  We have ALWAYS eaten dinner together so that is a good time to actually converse with everyone.  After dinner is "play time".  Because I'm home all day long it is my DH that plays with them and also puts them to bed whether it is summer or winter.  The kiddoes go to bed at 8 pm usually.

CleoKitty

DevonPow:

I think a lot of this whole debate depends on the kid.

Oh, I didn't really mean this to be a debate. I'm just genuinely curious about how other families do things, that's all. 

Ciarrai

I'm lucky in that DH is usually home by 5:30 (and I'm usually leaving for a meeting/shoot when he gets home).  The girls go down between 7:30 and 8pm, so he gets about 2 hours with them.  We try to eat dinner as a family (when I'm not working or working late) then DH does most of the evening routine - baths/shower, brush teeth/hair, books, etc.  I help when I'm home somewhat and/or work.  It's not a ton of time, but DH gets his quality time in on the weekends when I'm working.  He usually has all the kids at least a couple hours all by himself but I try to have a family day every other weekend where neither of us is working so we can spend time the five of us.  Doesn't always happen, but we try. 

Temp108743750006959

DandelionMom:

That is the problem with the early bedtime.  DH is usually home for dinner at 5:45 and that means Gracie only sees him for a little over an hour at night.  He's the one who usually reads her stories and puts her to bed so he has some quality time with her.  He also often has breakfast with us and is up with her in the morning.

pretty much this. DH does the whole night and morning routine so he spends time with DS. DS is 'stuck' to DH on the weekends...all he wants to do is hang with him.

gracendantho26

I work from home so I am usually here. DH comes home between 5:30pm and 6:00pm. So he spends about an hour and a half on average with them. He leaves in the morning right when they are getting up.

kellilea

It's not an issue for us because I stay at home and MH is home everyday by 3:00 pm.  So we usually have a good 5 hours or so a day to spend as a family.

If our schedules were different, I'm sure we would adjust to get more time in.

Halo79RN

I work 2 night shifts a week, usually on weekends.  when I work during the week, dh comes home sometime during naptime and works from home, we have dinner together, I leave for work.  most weeknights, dh does not get home until between 6p and 11p (he teaches night class 2 nights a week, and therefore doesn't get home until 10 or 11p those nights). it's rough during the semesters. summers and breaks, he's still in the lab and office.. usually until 4 or 5p.  dc are bears if they stay up too late.   they are ready for sleep by 8p *usually*.  they are up at 7am every morning. ds still naps. dd naps sometimes.  

Dimplz

DH home at 5, dinner at 5:30, DS's bed time is 8-8:30

mlm1128

This is why dd has such a late bedtime.  I pick her up between 5:15 and 5:30.  We are the ones that initiated that bedtime because we wanted to have more time with her.  Four years later there are times it is biting us in the butt since we have no down time, but most nights I am fine with it. If only she wasn't talking non stop until 10...

W&J'sMommy

When MH is in town he gets home by 4:30, so he gets 2-2.5 hours with the kids before bed.  His work offers flex time so he goes in an hour and half early to get out this early.

xbrooklyngrl

I pick DD up at 5pm now and she usually goes to bed around 10pm. DH works until 11-12 so he only see's her in the mornings when he gets her ready. Lucky for them he doesn't work until later in the afternoon so they have some time in the morning to take things easy and not be rushed.  

wellfleet04

Pretty much ditto Devon.  Except DH could see the kids in the morning if he wanted to get up at 5:45 am with Ben, but he sleeps until 7, so I get to spend those lovely hours with him

newwifey

Sadly there is no family time here on weeknights. My kids go to bed no later than 7:30 and *maybe* Dh is just walking through the door in time to read a story. If I tried to keep them up everyone would be miserable. Sometimes he has 5-10 mins with them in the morning before work. I sah so I with them when they are not at school. It is a major source of sadness for us in general. We wish it could be different but it can't be right now (oh, and for those who are thinking DH works all these hours so I can sah-- no, he is just a crazy workaholic with a lot of responsibility and a high position.) I try not to complain about it because it affords us a very comfortable lifestyle in exchange but lack of family time during the week can really suck.

#6

The kids and I get home at the same time give or take me home 30-45mns earlier.  Its around 3:30pm.  I usually take them to the park after a quick snack and potty break.  We then come home and hang out in the house with dh and then I make dinner or he grills in the summer.  We watch a tad of tv (kid shows) and then bath and bedtime.  They are in bed at 9pm in the summer.  

As for winter we do all as above except going to the park and grilling.  On Tuesdays the girls have dance class at 4:30 so its home and straight back out.   

#6

Forgot to mention that dh doesnt work but goes to school and is home before me if he comes home right after school.  If not he is home right after the kids.  

OctoberBrideNYC

This is tough.  I pick up the girls and we're home by 5:30 and DH is either home already or home soon there after.  Charlotte goes to bed at 7 for now and Ava at 8.  We make the most of our weekends and vacations - during the week just s a rat race.  Even if the girls went to bed at 9, it would still be too short!  And yet. . .some nights. . .it feels like they'll NEVER get to bed.  lol.

springfallwed

DH does drop off & picks ups, so he sees DD then. I get home between 5:30 & 6; we eat dinner and DH typically has some sort of meeting at 7 M, T & Th. He tries to be home by 9 from the meetings to do "cool down" with DD before bed; but doesn't always succeed. She's in bed at 9:15 most nights.  All together, the three of us normally get about 1 to 1.5 hours together daily...give or take.

We go to church on Wednesdays, and while we're there together; we're all in different areas, so I don't know if you would consider that family time.

 

jlw2505

I get home with the girls between 4:30 and 5 and DH typically gets home at around the same time.  We typically have a family dinner at around 5:30 and if we do baths, we start those at around 6 and my younger DD goes to bed at 7 or my older DD gets in bed a few mins later but has "reading time" herself before she gets lights out at 7:30.  We have around 2 hours of time total (sometimes a little longer) each night.  Not a time but the way I look at is - my kids are early birds, always have been, as infants, they went to sleep for the night - sloept 12 hours each- at 6 or 6:30.  As they get older and are able to handle it, we do move the bedtime back but it will not be later than 8:30 until they are a lot older.  For us, it is more about the quality of our time than the quanity.  When we are together, we are together - no computers, we rarely even answer the phone unless its family or a call we are expecting.  We try not to make plans during the week unless it is after bedtime (like my book group or DH's monthly poker game) so we don't miss out on this time.  Weekends are family time and we even try to run errands together or over naps so we don't miss out on the together time.

firefightersgal

We have a much different schedule than most families.  My DH works 24 hours on/48 hours off duty.  The 24 hours that he is on duty, I'm obviously on my own.  He also works a part-time job on his days off from 6-11 pm.  He spends the entire day with us, but that leaves me with bedtime duty the majority of the time.  I only work on the days that DH is home.

I like to have my DD in bed between 8:00 and 9:00 pm, depending on the circumstances.