Advice needed...

laurel_howeth

So my MIL watches lo for one day a week and everytime she watches him something is "wrong" with him. She always says he is hungry quicker than he is with me, that I am not making him enough milk, he is gassy, he doesn't poop enough, and so on and so on. 1. I don't feel like she has the patience to soothe him and get him to sleep. I think he is over stimulated and not made to sleep enough. 2. She is always wanting to give him Mylicon or Colic Calm. We used that pretty regularly before he was diagnosed and treated for reflux. Now we barely use it, yet she seems to think he "needs" it, enough to get upset when I don't put it in the diaper bag. She is always wanting to soothe his screaming with food... sometimes he just needs to fuss or sleep or something other than food. My mom keeps him the other day I work and she never has a problem with him or calls me needing anything. She says he is perfect.

So I guess in my vent I am really asking how do I deal with this? I am super insecure around her and have a hard time standing up to her about things. I also feel like, maybe I am wrong, heck I am a 1st time mom and maybe I don't know. AHHH It's stressing me out.

nicki0916

Can your DH casually mention something to her?  Maybe its the dynamic in my relationship with my ILs, but I leave the tough conversations to my DH.  If your DH mentioned to her that over stimulation has been a problem and gave some general tips in soothing LO, she may take it less personally if it doesn't come in the form of a criticism.  I think a lot of older parents feel the need to act as if they have all the knowledge because they have parented before. (Ex: I was told to give DD a bottle of WATER to get her used to the bottle while I BF)!!  Each baby is different, and no one knows more about a LO than his/her mommy.  

Shana051008

Ok so maybe I am going out on a limb here and this may come off as snarky: BUT maybe you should give her a copy of the happiest baby on the block and see if that doesn't stop some of her comments.  Maybe since it's been a while since she raised a newborn she may be enlightened by this book to find your LO doesn't always need food and meds to soothe him! 

laurel_howeth

Yeah I texted DH and told him how concerned I was and he said we would talk about it tonight. I am going to have him address it with her. It's so frustrating to know in your heart that your a good mom and doing a good job when these "veteran" moms tell you that you aren't doing things right. I mean it's hard to combat someone who says "This is your first time, I have raised 2 healthy children.. you'll learn".