First Child Adjusting to baby.....

jlgoshert@yahoo.com

Anyone have advice of things I can do to help my son adjust to the arrival of our 2nd baby?? He will be 4 in July but has already suggested that we "give the baby to someone else" and has said that he "hates babies" and "hates me."  I respond by telling him no matter what he says or does I will always love him and we bought a present for him from the baby (we'll give it to him in the hospital). But I'm still really nervous about his adjustment when the baby actually comes, which could be any day now. Any suggestions???

nj67ws56qa21

When we brought home Baby #2, we were most worried about our older child, too.  We tried our best to keep our older daughter's daily routine the same, so it wasn't such a shock to her system (same bedtime routine, same activities, etc.).  We also tried to incorporate her into caring for the baby...like asking her to get a toy or something like that, and really giving her extra praise when she completed the task or she was gentle with the baby.  I also found that my older daughter also needed one on one time with just me, without baby and without Dad (since he took on a lot of her care after the baby was born).  It took a good month or two before she was truly used to not being the only child, but now, almost 2 years later, she doesn't remember anything different than having a little sister.  Good luck to you!

nsees

We also tried to keep the routine as much as possible.  We had recently started preschool for DS#1 and we kept that up.  It was great for him to have something of his own and it was something that he LOVED.

We also read a ton of big brother books which I think really prepared him for what to expect.

I know you're getting close now so this might not help- but we took him to all of our baby appts.  We found it help him take ownership of the baby and really feel a part of it.  We often referred to the baby as "his" baby.  Not necessarily Mommy's, just because it was in my belly.

I think it's also very important to not push them.  At first Eli was standoffish at the hospital but I think he was overwhelmed.  We let him meet Evan on his own terms.  He didn't want to hold him until we were home but that was ok.  We didn't make a big deal out of it.

It sounds silly but presents from Evan to him at the hospital really helped and were a GREAT icebreaker.  He then wanted to go downstairs to the gift shop and bought him a present too.  (It also came in handy to have an Eli DVD in my hospital bag so he was happy while everyone was visiting.)

I hope it goes as smoothly for you as it did for us!