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Vent...

laurel_howethlaurel_howeth
in Breastfeeding
So I am the only woman in our family who has breastfed their baby. My mom and aunt both tried and it hurt too bad and they quit. Everytime I go around them they tell me that "You really should just use formula, he seems hungry all the time" (He eats every three hours) or when he got diagnosed with reflux they said "I bet your milk is bad, my children never had this problem". I feel like I have no support and I am the weirdo for wanting to breastfeed. My mom has even told me I am weird for wanting to past 6 weeks and I will end up starving him. UGH.... I know I am doing the right thing, but I feel no support from them. Which is exhausting. Thank God for DH he is so amazing and supportive. lol He even told my mom "Well alot of things have changed since when L (me) was little, Heck you smoked when you were pregnant with her and now we know that was a BAD idea." Thank you I just needed to vent about how much their lack of support is hurting me.
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Re: Vent...

  • ella.mabelella.mabel member
    Could you be honest by letting them know that their lack of support hurts your feelings?   Maybe they just need to be educated on the topic.  Maybe print out some articles for them to read about the benefits of breastfeeding.  They can't argue with science and research.  Good luck!
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  • laurel_howethlaurel_howeth

    imageella.mabel:
    Could you be honest by letting them know that their lack of support hurts your feelings?   Maybe they just need to be educated on the topic.  Maybe print out some articles for them to read about the benefits of breastfeeding.  They can't argue with science and research.  Good luck!

    I could definitely try to explain it to them. Unfortunatly my mom is one of those know it alls, no matter what proof I have. But just this morning I emailed her some articles on bf'ing and how good it is for lo. I hope she reads it. Thank you for the advice ;)

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  • trackchik6trackchik6 member

    imageella.mabel:
    Could you be honest by letting them know that their lack of support hurts your feelings?   Maybe they just need to be educated on the topic.  Maybe print out some articles for them to read about the benefits of breastfeeding.  They can't argue with science and research.  Good luck!

    I am LOLing b/c my MIL *can* argue with science and research.  She never supported BFing but I just ignore her b/c I know she is wrong.  OP- do you have any friends who BF?  They have been a real support to me.  GL.    

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  • heatherlaneheatherlane member

    I don't really have any advice about how to deal with them specifically, but just keep on doing what you feel is best.

    Don't even think about giving it up just because someone else didn't think it was best...it has been the most rewarding part of having a child to me so far: knowing that I'm doing what's best and having those bonding moments. I wouldn't trade it for the world, even if I had to deal with other people's crap.

    Bottom line, it's none of their business how you feed your child and you are well within your rights to let them know that.

    Um, yeah. The Bump be too crazy for pics of my kid.
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  • kwbride1kwbride1
    You are admirable! The fact that you're standing ground on something that matters to you and haven't had anything influence you is great. Big Smile

    I find that a my MIL and even my mom are so misinformed about BF though both have been very supportive, but the things they believe and hold true amaze me. I'm glad I informed myself because otherwise I would have believed a bunch of nonsense.

    Anyway, I hope your mom comes around.
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  • xxerin&stevexxxxerin&stevexx
    I have no advice, but just wanted to say great job!!!!!  I know I was in a lot of pain in the beginning and without the support of my mother, sister and DH, there was no way I would have made it... so good for you sticking with it.
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  • laurel_howethlaurel_howeth
    imagetrackchik6:

    imageella.mabel:
    Could you be honest by letting them know that their lack of support hurts your feelings?   Maybe they just need to be educated on the topic.  Maybe print out some articles for them to read about the benefits of breastfeeding.  They can't argue with science and research.  Good luck!

    I am LOLing b/c my MIL *can* argue with science and research.  She never supported BFing but I just ignore her b/c I know she is wrong.  OP- do you have any friends who BF?  They have been a real support to me.  GL.    

    Yes and they have been the best. It's so true how much they have helped.

    I am hoping my mom will come around and because it's so frustrating. But I know I am doing what is best for my son and that is what is important.

    I am glad to hear I am not the only one whose families are not supporting them. I am honestly surprised, I thought they would be proud of me. But oh well.

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  • trackchik6trackchik6 member

    omg the CNN article that was just posted is just for you!!

    https://www.cnn.com/2010/HEALTH/04/05/breastfeeding.costs/index.html?hpt=Sbin 

    Dr. Alan Fleischman, medical director for the March of Dimes, was not surprised by the findings of the report. Fleischman, who did not work on this study, says if a new mom is struggling with breastfeeding, she may end up in a situation where "grandmother suggests to stop the silliness and give formula instead." 

    He believes the mothers and grandmothers of new moms also need to be educated about the benefits of breastfeeding because for their generations, feeding their babies formula was the norm.

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  • farmwifefarmwife

    Its hard when you don't have support from family, but good for you for sticking with it anyway!  And the fact that your DH is supportive is HUGE.  I was in a similar position, my MIL and my mom both "tried" BFing but didn't last long.  I think a lot of it was due to the fact that at that time, doctors really pushed formula as being better.  So you have to keep in mind that they were always told formula was better. 

    That being said, ignore them! :)  Really, you need to just trust your instincts that you are doing the best thing for your son by BFing.  My MIL was constantly making comments to me when DS was a newborn, he was jaundice and she was sure he needed formula...she was sure he was starving all the time..."you could just give him a little formula you know, they can get dehydrated SO fast at this age".  I even found out that she and my SIL were talking about how they didn't understand why I was "still bothering with trying to BF" after a couple of weeks of challenges.  Luckily I had the support of my DH and my other SIL (brother's wife) was hugely supportive too.  And, the fact that MIL and SIL were so unsupportive and anti-BFing actually made me even MORE determined to prove them wrong and do it successfully (but I'm kind of stubborn that way!)  And get this...after about 5 months of BFing...my MIL actually started bragging to anyone who would listen that I was still BFing and even pumping at work (she looked at my like I had 2 heads when I originally told her I was going to pump at work)!!  My mom actually told me the other day too, when I was talking about weaning DS, that she is so proud of me for sticking with it as long as I did.  What a turnaround!  :) 

    You can do it! Stick with it, listen to your instincts, and NOT to their "advice" :)

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