Getting harder...

awood04

I am 16 weeks pregnant now and it seems to be getting harder emotionally for me. My mother passed just over 4 years ago and it has been so difficult to go through this without her. I do have my aunt and grandparents and my fiancee is also extremely supportive. Unfortunately for me he is in the military and goes out of town quite a bit on exercises. Sometimes a month or two at a time for training. I just feel alone a lot and I was wondering if there is anyone else going through the same thing or did.

BarbieNCSU

I'm not going through anything like this, but I am sorry to hear about your continued grief. I couldn't imagine going through anything like that and it would be more than heartbreaking to suffer such a loss. However, I do understand not having your fiance' at home all of the time though. My husband travels a lot for work and sometimes he is gone for 3-4 weeks at a time. Its hard when he is not here - especially when something fun happens like feeling kicks for the first time. I wish I had better advice on how to cope with this because I generally always talk to my mom or sister. I generally just try to keep myself busy between projects and activities. Do you have any close friends in the area or maybe any groups that you are part of or could join? The busier I am when the DH is gone the quicker the time passes.

Wilwarin

You may want to introduce yourself to the Military Nesties board.  I bet a lot of them know what you are going through.

moonrose2715

It sounds like one of the harder parts for you is missing your mom (perfectly reasonable!).

I want to encourage you to find someone to talk to.  A counselor would be idea, especially someone with pre-natal experience.  The reason I say this is that if you are struggling now (even with a completely reasonable grief) you may be at a higher risk for post-partum depression.

Pregnancy is challenging and scary so it makes perfect sense that you'd feel the way you do.  I suffer from anxiety and although I was doing really well for the first 5 months, the last few weeks have been really difficult for me.  It helps to have someone to talk to.

Prayingforhealthy

I know exactly how you feel about losing your mom. My mom died on November 12, 2009 from stage 5 uterine cancer and we found out we were expecting on December 30th. So it has been EXTREMELY hard (espicially with me being so young...I'm only 21) Although I have to give kudos to my MIL because she has been great...she has gone with me to all my appointments and she is super excited.

 I try to focus on the positive things like the fact that she was here to see my brother and I both get married. She was able to come to my graduation from Nursing School...so even though her life was cut short, she was able to see alot of our milestones.

And even though she isn't here for me to ask any questions or talk to, I know that she is watching over me and that she will be in that delivery room when I have my baby and she is so happy!  :-)

hderne05

You're not alone!!!!  Make sure you make friends with some of the other military wives/girlfriends in his unit.  It will help!  I'm a military wife in Japan, and my hubby is gone at minimum 2 weeks out of every month, and is currently gone for a month.  So I understand how it can be emotional. But fortunately here in Japan on base I have met several good friends I can count on to talk to and go out with (don't know what I'll do when half of them PCS this summer, but we'll tackle that later).  But really, get out there and meet some of them.  They'll be able to give you info on him sometimes that your hubby can't or just be able to relate to you in general.  Good luck.

me92603

I lost my dad when I was 8 weeks pg with my first, 5 years ago.  I found it very hard to get through without him.  it was tough at his birth because I just really missed my dad and wanted him to see my son.  Its hormones and you will get through this.  I went to therapy when my son was about 3 months old because I was so depressed.  It gets so much easier when the baby starts sleeping through the night and you can really enjoy being a mom.