I'm sorry. I really don't want anyone to feel they have to leave because of me. I wasn't trying to GBC3T or anything. I also really hope I haven't offended any of the pregnant women in this post or any of their update posts. I am honestly so happy for you all, I'm just so much sadder for myself right now. I'm sorry.
Jill, you have nothing to apologize for.
dx PCOS on Metformin LO#1 - 19 cycles, 3 IUIs, 1 m/c, gonal-f, ganirelix, ovidrel, progesterone Totally worth the wait! Getting ready for #2 Back on Met, PCOS diet, prepping for treatments 1/12
Good luck to the wonderful ladies of 3T Always cheering on my girls Gymnst1013 & MrsJohns My Chart / Info for Newbies
I'm sorry. I really don't want anyone to feel they have to leave because of me. I wasn't trying to GBC3T or anything. I also really hope I haven't offended any of the pregnant women in this post or any of their update posts. I am honestly so happy for you all, I'm just so much sadder for myself right now. I'm sorry.
(((huge hugs))) You could never, ever offend me. Don't beat yourself up, seriously. You need these girls support and what they have to offer. I am so glad you spoke up so you can get what you need. I have felt that way so many times and it's been hard to say it. I think you are brave and I really hope you are in a much happier place very soon.
2 years, 2 surgeries, 2 clomid fails, 2 IUIs, 1 loss, IVF #1 - 10/25/10 = BFP!, DS is now 3.5yrs!
TTC #2 - 6/12 surgery #3, FET #1 & 1.2 = BFN, 12/2012 FET #2 = BFP! DD is 1.5 yrs!
Surprise! 12/16/14 BFP, loss #2 12/31/14
I can't wait for the "im getting a divorce" post in 5 years or so because your husbands were fed up with your disgusting chair asses from playing on the knot all day and getting fired 4-5 times for not doing any work. you guys are all winners!! ~ Laur929
I just want to say and be clear that if any of my responses ever came across as cold or mean I did not intend them to be AT ALL. I'm truly 100% happy for TTTC sucesses and I hope you ladies know that.
Note: I haven't looked at any of these posts today but I think I wrote "woohoo!!" or "yipppeee" or somthing like that and I meant it!
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That's fine, but I guess I just wanted to see what people were referring to. Honestly, I just don't see how someone could mean those words in a negative way. Perhaps, things are read into wrong or taken wrong when there was no malice or bad intentions behind it. I have to say, as someone who doesn't mind KU girls that have gone through a similar struggle that I am currently going through, it does get hard to see that stuff. With that said, I'm still beyond happy for them, but sometimes all you can muster up is a congrats or a woohoo. Its not meant to be hurtful, its the best you can do in your state of mind.
I get that Lyse. But
congrats.
how nice for you.
is the kind of sh!t that we give to drive-bys on TTGP. I'm not a drive-by. If you really can't give more than something that's obviously going to be perceived in that light (since we all post here and all know the board language) then it's better just to not move on, y'know?
And if a post title says 'ultrasound update *ticker warning*' or something to that effect, and you're not in the state of mind to say something positive, why open it at all?
This is the part that made it obvious to me when I was reading the original posts. If you have a clearly marked pg post and there are snarky comments in it, it's hurtful.
Sorry, I'm not trying to stir the pot here. Just wanting to clarify why I said it was obvious.
I'm going to shut up now.
dx PCOS on Metformin LO#1 - 19 cycles, 3 IUIs, 1 m/c, gonal-f, ganirelix, ovidrel, progesterone Totally worth the wait! Getting ready for #2 Back on Met, PCOS diet, prepping for treatments 1/12
Good luck to the wonderful ladies of 3T Always cheering on my girls Gymnst1013 & MrsJohns My Chart / Info for Newbies
That's fine, but I guess I just wanted to see what people were referring to. Honestly, I just don't see how someone could mean those words in a negative way. Perhaps, things are read into wrong or taken wrong when there was no malice or bad intentions behind it. I have to say, as someone who doesn't mind KU girls that have gone through a similar struggle that I am currently going through, it does get hard to see that stuff. With that said, I'm still beyond happy for them, but sometimes all you can muster up is a congrats or a woohoo. Its not meant to be hurtful, its the best you can do in your state of mind.
I have to admit that I've posted an "awesome" in some drive-by posts on TTGP where I was being totally sarcastic.
It's really hard to judge tone on a message board but when you are familiar with someone's normal way of typing a post, if that person's post is typed differently, you can tell the tone is meant to be not exactly positive. I hope that made sense!
Edit - that being said, I'm beyond happy for everyone here who has gotten a BFP!! You all deserve it so much!! Personally, I'm in the camp of I want to see everyone, BFP or no, on 3T, but I totally respect that not everyone may want that and I'm an accomplished stalker - I will track you down when I want to know how you are doing
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That's fine, but I guess I just wanted to see what people were referring to. Honestly, I just don't see how someone could mean those words in a negative way. Perhaps, things are read into wrong or taken wrong when there was no malice or bad intentions behind it. I have to say, as someone who doesn't mind KU girls that have gone through a similar struggle that I am currently going through, it does get hard to see that stuff. With that said, I'm still beyond happy for them, but sometimes all you can muster up is a congrats or a woohoo. Its not meant to be hurtful, its the best you can do in your state of mind.
I have to admit that I've posted an "awesome" in some drive-by posts on TTGP where I was being totally sarcastic.
It's really hard to judge tone on a message board but when you are familiar with someone's normal way of typing a post, if that person's post is typed differently, you can tell the tone is meant to be not exactly positive. I hope that made sense!
Edit - that being said, I'm beyond happy for everyone here who has gotten a BFP!! You all deserve it so much!! Personally, I'm in the camp of I want to see everyone, BFP or no, on 3T, but I totally respect that not everyone may want that and I'm an accomplished stalker - I will track you down when I want to know how you are doing
I'm such an infrequent poster around here (the bump in general, not just 3T). I just feel like I'm in such a different place and I feel that often times I don't have anything to add to the conversation. I really should work on that though as you gals are awesome!
I've read all the responses and my vote was for the PG/Mamma's to stick around. Yes, it's VERY hard sometimes to see the tickers, etc. At the same time, it makes me smile because I know many of the women here have struggled as hard and harder than I am so it gives me a little bit of faith and hope to see that ticker or that ultrasound pic.
Does it sting sometimes when I come on and there's a whole slew of BFPS? Absolutely! Does it make my journey seem harder/worse? Some days but it also gives me hope. Yes, there are rough days. Those are the days I tend to stay away, but
those are also the days that I need to be here the most. I need to know
I'm not alone. Yet, I'm always thrilled for those that have finally seen the 2 lines.
I think there's a fine line that has to be walked. The infertility world is brutal. From my reading all the responses it looks like it's hard on the pregnant women too. I hope I don't offend anyone with this statement but I'm going to make it ... I think when we've all struggled so long and we have so much bitterness and anger towards the whole process, and especially when we've shared our incredible struggle, when the time comes to announce that BFP or to show off the ultrasound picture we want/need/expect (Take your pick) a strong support from all of the women that have walked your journey with you. So if someone is having a rough day and can only manage a "Congrats." it's taken personally when, maybe that wasn't really the intent. I can totally see why the pregnant mom would feel that it was cold and insensitive and wouldn't feel a part of things here any more. At the same time, I can see how the still struggling gal is feeling too. It hurts. You go through the why not me feelings.
Ugh, way longer winded then necessary so I'll shut up but first ... I think that IF is one of the most emotional journeys any of us have been on. Peoples feelings get easily hurt on both sides because we've all struggled.
I agree that starting new threads is a touchy subject for the PG mamas (unless you are paging someone or have something to share about infertility). I have noticed on IF that many women put SAIF Welcome in their siggies so that the pregnant gals know it's okay to post in those threads. Yes, you're always going to risk offending someone, but I think it's worth the risk.
That's my nickles worth!
Our Journey to Brenden
IVF #1: 4/11(Follistim/Menopur/Ganirelix) 10 retrieved/8 mature and all 8
fertilized / 2 embies transferred ... nothing to freeze Beta 5/10 = BFN
IVF Take 2 Long Lupron July 2011
ER 7/3/11 (our 6th anniversary) - 8 retrieved/7 mature/fert ....ET 7/6/11 - 2
beautiful grade A 8 cell embryos
Beta 7/18/11 - 149!!! Beta 7/21/11 - 311 Beta 7/28/11 - 2,000 8/5/11 - Empty
Sac 8/8/11 - There's a yolk sac and maybe a heartbeat 8/12/11 - Fetal pole,
yolk sac, heartbeat 8/18/11 - Baby looks GREAT!
3 babies waiting on ice
I just want to say and be clear that if any of my responses ever came across as cold or mean I did not intend them to be AT ALL. I'm truly 100% happy for TTTC sucesses and I hope you ladies know that.
Note: I haven't looked at any of these posts today but I think I wrote "woohoo!!" or "yipppeee" or somthing like that and I meant it!
I know, me too!
**** TW - kids and loss mentioned **** ~~ married 8.11.07 ~~ DD1 1.16.11 ~~ DD2 1.3.14 ~~ ~~ BFP3 12.22.15 MMC 2.29.16 @ 13 weeks ~~ ~~ 2 D&Cs (3.1.16 and 3.10.16) for MMC ~~ BFP4 10.27.16 MMC 1.23.17 @ 16 weeks ~~ D&E 1.26.17 ~~
I just want to say and be clear that if any of my responses ever came across as cold or mean I did not intend them to be AT ALL. I'm truly 100% happy for TTTC sucesses and I hope you ladies know that.
Note: I haven't looked at any of these posts today but I think I wrote "woohoo!!" or "yipppeee" or somthing like that and I meant it!
This (minus the note, I don't think I have responded with a "woohoo" or "yipppeee).
I tend to say "Congrats", "Congratulations", etc. I mean these whole heartedly. I haven't posted on this board long, but i have followed POF, CHW, Mrs. Johns, etc. since I first started posting on TTGP months ago (actually, before since I lurked before I joined). I think the tough part for me is that these are the things I say to my IRL friends. I didn't realize they would be taken as cold. I would probably consider "how nice for you" snarky, but I guess I didn't think a simple Congrats was snarky.
I hope I have not offended or hurt any of you ladies by anything I have said. You are all very deserving of your BFPs and I truly am happy for you. I love hearing your updates.
~SAIF/PAIF/Everyone Welcome~
Me= 37 and DH = 41
Dx: DOR, Endo, APA+ (really high beta 2 glycoprotein antibody and high everything else tested), heterozygous MTHFR mutation, positive for lupus anticoagulant, high FSH, low AMH and both tubes blocked (per HSG on 3/8/11)
IVF #1 - long lupron (with HGH, intralipids, lovenox and BA); 4 retrieved, 3 fertilized; ET 2 blasts and 1 frozen = BFN
IVF #2 - a version of antagonist with EPP (with HGH, intralipids, lovenox and BA); 6 retrieved, 4 mature, 3 fertilized, 2 blasts and 1 frozen blast transferred on day 5 = BFN.
IVF #3 April was postponed to May, May was canceled. June/July was canceled. Had a cyst aspiration and then began IVF #3 in August. ER on 8/22; ET on 8/24 with AH. +HPT on 9/5. Beta #1 (11dpo) = 3; Beta #2 (15dpo) = 29; Beta #3 (17dpo) = 60; Beta #4 (19 dpo) = 118. Heartbeat at 6 weeks 6 days =132. Lil is here!
This is a tough one for me, because I've definitely gotten a less-than-welcome reception since I got my BFP - in fact, the first cool comment came the day after I got my BFP, and it was from someone in this thread who is now saying that they want us here. In fact, several people posting in this thread are among those that have made me feel unwelcome now that I've finally managed to get pregnant.
It's sad for me, because I love you ladies and want to stay tight, but there are a handful of people who have made it very clear through their comments that they'd prefer that we not be here. It's a tough position to be in because I don't want people to think that I've left them or don't care now that I've been lucky enough to move on, but I don't want to cause added pain to people who just can't handle seeing the pregnant women post.
And sure, I can put a ticker warning in a subject line if I start a post, but what should I start a post about here? I linked to my first ultrasound and got a cold comment. I noticed the same reactions in a lot of the updates from other newly pregnant women. Not cool. I know what it feels like to be on the other side - we all do. But if you're genuinely not happy for someone, then raining on their parade isn't the way to deal with it. We all know each other's stories and how difficult it's been for all of us.
If I post in someone else's thread, I can't warn people about my ticker or my ultrasound pic. So then what if people get upset because they were surprised to see these things in a post? They weren't warned and if they're having a bad day, they don't want to see my ticker (which is the whole reason for ticker warnings, correct?).
This isn't everyone. A lot of people have been absolutely amazing, and I love that. I also understand that for some people it's hard to see us here, and I don't want to hurt those people.
I feel very stuck in this situation.
As you are fond of saying, put your big girl panties on. This is a public message board and sometimes you are going to get responses you don't like.
As you are fond of saying, put your big girl panties on. This is a public message board and sometimes you are going to get responses you don't like.
Smug + pregnant=not a nice combination.
Are you kidding me with this? How on earth does your bolded comment come off as POF being smug? She has stayed off the board solely to spare the feelings of the women here - nothing could be nicer or more selfless.
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As you are fond of saying, put your big girl panties on. This is a public message board and sometimes you are going to get responses you don't like.
Smug + pregnant=not a nice combination.
Are you kidding me with this? How on earth does your bolded comment come off as POF being smug? She has stayed off the board solely to spare the feelings of the women here - nothing could be nicer or more selfless.
Gotta love Chicken Shiit AEs that are too scared to say what they really want to say without hiding behind their AEs.
As you are fond of saying, put your big girl panties on. This is a public message board and sometimes you are going to get responses you don't like.
Smug + pregnant=not a nice combination.
Oh FFS, it takes a special kind of loser to make an AE on an IF board. POF is anything but smug. Grow a pair and say this sh!t with your real SN.
2 years, 2 surgeries, 2 clomid fails, 2 IUIs, 1 loss, IVF #1 - 10/25/10 = BFP!, DS is now 3.5yrs!
TTC #2 - 6/12 surgery #3, FET #1 & 1.2 = BFN, 12/2012 FET #2 = BFP! DD is 1.5 yrs!
Surprise! 12/16/14 BFP, loss #2 12/31/14
I can't wait for the "im getting a divorce" post in 5 years or so because your husbands were fed up with your disgusting chair asses from playing on the knot all day and getting fired 4-5 times for not doing any work. you guys are all winners!! ~ Laur929
As you are fond of saying, put your big girl panties on. This is a public message board and sometimes you are going to get responses you don't like.
Smug + pregnant=not a nice combination.
We're also fond of saying that pathetic trolls who don't have the balls to post under thier real name should GTFO...but you seem to have selective hearing regarding these matters.
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As you are fond of saying, put your big girl panties on. This is a public message board and sometimes you are going to get responses you don't like.
Smug + pregnant=not a nice combination.
We're also fond of saying that pathetic trolls who don't have the balls to post under thier real name should GTFO...but you seem to have selective hearing regarding these matters.
I think the pregnant women who are still hanging around here and posting are doing an amazing job of balancing providing support and advice while being sensitive to those who are still trying.
As you are fond of saying, put your big girl panties on. This is a public message board and sometimes you are going to get responses you don't like.
Smug + pregnant=not a nice combination.
Oh FFS, it takes a special kind of loser to make an AE on an IF board. POF is anything but smug. Grow a pair and say this sh!t with your real SN.
This. That is a completely horrible thing for anyone to say If board or no. And, POF definitely deserves better than to have someone say something like that.
~SAIF/PAIF/Everyone Welcome~
Me= 37 and DH = 41
Dx: DOR, Endo, APA+ (really high beta 2 glycoprotein antibody and high everything else tested), heterozygous MTHFR mutation, positive for lupus anticoagulant, high FSH, low AMH and both tubes blocked (per HSG on 3/8/11)
IVF #1 - long lupron (with HGH, intralipids, lovenox and BA); 4 retrieved, 3 fertilized; ET 2 blasts and 1 frozen = BFN
IVF #2 - a version of antagonist with EPP (with HGH, intralipids, lovenox and BA); 6 retrieved, 4 mature, 3 fertilized, 2 blasts and 1 frozen blast transferred on day 5 = BFN.
IVF #3 April was postponed to May, May was canceled. June/July was canceled. Had a cyst aspiration and then began IVF #3 in August. ER on 8/22; ET on 8/24 with AH. +HPT on 9/5. Beta #1 (11dpo) = 3; Beta #2 (15dpo) = 29; Beta #3 (17dpo) = 60; Beta #4 (19 dpo) = 118. Heartbeat at 6 weeks 6 days =132. Lil is here!
I think the pregnant women who are still hanging around here and posting are doing an amazing job of balancing providing support and advice while being sensitive to those who are still trying.
I agree
100% agreed.
Yes!
I also completely agree with this. I don't have a lot of time on the Bump many days, but I have lurked on Tri/Month boards to find updates on several posters from TTGP and TTTC.
~SAIF/PAIF/Everyone Welcome~
Me= 37 and DH = 41
Dx: DOR, Endo, APA+ (really high beta 2 glycoprotein antibody and high everything else tested), heterozygous MTHFR mutation, positive for lupus anticoagulant, high FSH, low AMH and both tubes blocked (per HSG on 3/8/11)
IVF #1 - long lupron (with HGH, intralipids, lovenox and BA); 4 retrieved, 3 fertilized; ET 2 blasts and 1 frozen = BFN
IVF #2 - a version of antagonist with EPP (with HGH, intralipids, lovenox and BA); 6 retrieved, 4 mature, 3 fertilized, 2 blasts and 1 frozen blast transferred on day 5 = BFN.
IVF #3 April was postponed to May, May was canceled. June/July was canceled. Had a cyst aspiration and then began IVF #3 in August. ER on 8/22; ET on 8/24 with AH. +HPT on 9/5. Beta #1 (11dpo) = 3; Beta #2 (15dpo) = 29; Beta #3 (17dpo) = 60; Beta #4 (19 dpo) = 118. Heartbeat at 6 weeks 6 days =132. Lil is here!
I'm pretty much the opposite of smug. I'm basically terrified every day that my high risk pregnancy will just end and I'll have to start all over again. I have nightmares about this.
Maybe they changed the definition of smug?
Also, I don't believe I've ever actually used the phrase 'big girl panties'. I really don't care for it.
I'm pretty much the opposite of smug. I'm basically terrified every day that my high risk pregnancy will just end and I'll have to start all over again. I have nightmares about this.
Maybe they changed the definition of smug?
Also, I don't believe I've ever actually used the phrase 'big girl panties'. I really don't care for it.
So... AE fail?
POF, coward biitches don't deserve your time and energy.
Edit: And some giant hugs and prayers about that last part.
dx PCOS on Metformin LO#1 - 19 cycles, 3 IUIs, 1 m/c, gonal-f, ganirelix, ovidrel, progesterone Totally worth the wait! Getting ready for #2 Back on Met, PCOS diet, prepping for treatments 1/12
Good luck to the wonderful ladies of 3T Always cheering on my girls Gymnst1013 & MrsJohns My Chart / Info for Newbies
I just want to say and be clear that if any of my responses ever came across as cold or mean I did not intend them to be AT ALL. I'm truly 100% happy for TTTC sucesses and I hope you ladies know that.
Note: I haven't looked at any of these posts today but I think I wrote "woohoo!!" or "yipppeee" or somthing like that and I meant it!
This for me as well. Sometimes I only post a "yay" or simple "congrats" but have never meant it sarcastically.
After I got my bfp I shyed away from the board as well. Not bc I didn't want to be here, but bc I wasn't for sure how my posts would be received. So, I know how you girls feel. Now that I am back on the other side, I can say that I do not think any of the bfp's have been AW'ing. I may not open some posts about u/s if I am having a really bad day, but that doesn't mean I care about them any less.
Infertility, Life & Loss Blog
Love & luck to my 3TC girls. Congrats to Omega-The boys are here!
If there's one thing I've learned while waiting my turn,
it's that in each life some rain falls but you also get some sun.
After 2 years & 2 losses, our little man arrived 8-2011.
I'm pretty much the opposite of smug. I'm basically terrified every day that my high risk pregnancy will just end and I'll have to start all over again. I have nightmares about this.
Maybe they changed the definition of smug?
Also, I don't believe I've ever actually used the phrase 'big girl panties'. I really don't care for it.
So... AE fail?
ETA: And if you're really interested, the blood clot that is threatening to end my pregnancy is actually my other baby that died. Isn't that awesome? Boy, I feel so so smug that my dead baby might kill my surviving baby.
POF, Fvck the AE! I wouldn't respond to their post in the first place. AE's are full of BS. You are not smug and never have been. The AE is probably a Newb that got biitched out!! Fvck her!!
As for your clot/baby! I am so sorry hon!! Huge hugs!!! I will go to the tri boards and hunt you down for updates!
I haven't seen the u/s or update posts where people left snarky comments, but if that is the case that's horrible. I don't see what the big deal is if there's a warning on the subject field. If someone is having a bad day or just doesn't care to hear about someone's u/s, beta, etc, then don't open it! It seems pretty simple to me.
To me the whole point of 3T is to support eachother, no matter what part of our journey we're all on. Even if someone is pregnant now, they understand what we're all still going through, because they've been there too, and they're still rooting for us. It doesn't mean it's o.k. to AW their pregnancies here, but I haven't seen that yet.
I'm just not sure how this all got brought up because I haven't seen anyone cross the line with AW, and I haven't seen anyone trying to force them off the board.
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I haven't seen the u/s or update posts where people left snarky comments, but if that is the case that's horrible. I don't see what the big deal is if there's a warning on the subject field. If someone is having a bad day or just doesn't care to hear about someone's u/s, beta, etc, then don't open it! It seems pretty simple to me.
To me the whole point of 3T is to support eachother, no matter what part of our journey we're all on. Even if someone is pregnant now, they understand what we're all still going through, because they've been there too, and they're still rooting for us. It doesn't mean it's o.k. to AW their pregnancies here, but I haven't seen that yet.
I'm just not sure how this all got brought up because I haven't seen anyone cross the line with AW, and I haven't seen anyone trying to force them off the board.
I'm pretty much the opposite of smug. I'm basically terrified every day that my high risk pregnancy will just end and I'll have to start all over again. I have nightmares about this.
Maybe they changed the definition of smug?
Also, I don't believe I've ever actually used the phrase 'big girl panties'. I really don't care for it.
So... AE fail?
ETA: And if you're really interested, the blood clot that is threatening to end my pregnancy is actually my other baby that died. Isn't that awesome? Boy, I feel so so smug that my dead baby might kill my surviving baby.
First off, POF you are in my thoughts and prayers. I'm so sorry that you are going through this after everything you've had to deal with. Secondly, I honestly mean everything I say on this board. This post is making me paranoid. I really hope I haven't offended anyone. This board helps to keep me sane.
ETA: And if you're really interested, the blood clot that is threatening to end my pregnancy is actually my other baby that died. Isn't that awesome? Boy, I feel so so smug that my dead baby might kill my surviving baby.
Omg hun, I'm so sorry to hear this, and I'm even sorrier that some lameass AE is what caused you to feel the need to share this information in this matter. I will be praying for you that that this is a very healthy pregnancy with no other complications.
Otherwise, I've stayed out this post because honestly, I don't care. The pregnant girls can post here, or I can just stalk them and keep up with them on one of the other boards, either is fine with me.
Omg hun, I'm so sorry to hear this, and I'm even sorrier that some lameass AE is what caused you to feel the need to share this information in this matter. I will be praying for you that that this is a very healthy pregnancy with no other complications.
Otherwise, I've stayed out this post because honestly, I don't care. The pregnant girls can post here, or I can just stalk them and keep up with them on one of the other boards, either is fine with me.
I was trying to figure out how to word all this and you said it well. So ditto.
Ladies, I know I'm late to this, but I wanted to say a few things.
Firstly, I am very proud with how this post has gone (minus the AE of course). I think you all have managed to discuss a very, very sensitive topic maturely and with consideration, and I am happy to see it happen.
Secondly, I'll be honest, it is sometimes hard for me to see bfps and updates, partly because of the IF, and partly because of our m/c. But those feelings are soley my own, and do not reflect whatsoever on our TTTC ladies who've had successes, nor do my difficulties make me love you any less. I would hope that any responses that I've made haven't come across as snarky or less than enthusiastic, as that is not how I intended them, but I understand how easy it can be to misinterpret things on the internet.
I didn't vote on the poll because I'm on the fence as to how I feel. This is a TTC board, but I like to keep track of how my ladies are doing. As long as things can stay on a considerate, non-AW level, then I think that minimizes the potential for problems as much as possible.
***POF: I had no idea about the blod clot and the RE's findings. You, your hubs, and your sweet babe are in my thoughts and my prayers, and I hope all goes well. ::Giant hugs:: to you.
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I missed most of the discussion, but I wanted to ask the BFP gals something if they are still around.
I understand why you may not feel comfortable posting here (I wish that you would, but I understand). That being said, is it ok for me to respond to your posts on the tri or month boards? I want you guys to know that I am still following you and that I care, but I feel like I shouldn't be posting on the pregnant women boards. What are your thoughts?
I missed most of the discussion, but I wanted to ask the BFP gals something if they are still around.
I understand why you may not feel comfortable posting here (I wish that you would, but I understand). That being said, is it ok for me to respond to your posts on the tri or month boards? I want you guys to know that I am still following you and that I care, but I feel like I shouldn't be posting on the pregnant women boards. What are your thoughts?
It's 100% absolutely wonderful if you do that.
I agree!
Thanks ladies! It is so weird to read your stuff and not feel like I can/should comment. I thought I graduated from lurker to poster 3 months ago, but I'm back to doing it again. I'll keep my posts to a minimum, but I want you guys to know that I'm following your progress.
I don't think you have to keep your posts to a minimum at all. I have grown to love everyone on this board and would love to keep in touch with all of you!
I agree, I think you are welcome to comment and post whenever you'd like. I feel the same as flgirl.
Re: I've said it before and I will say it again....
Jill, you have nothing to apologize for.
LO#1 - 19 cycles, 3 IUIs, 1 m/c, gonal-f, ganirelix, ovidrel, progesterone
Totally worth the wait!
Getting ready for #2
Back on Met, PCOS diet, prepping for treatments 1/12
Good luck to the wonderful ladies of 3T
Always cheering on my girls Gymnst1013 & MrsJohns
My Chart / Info for Newbies
(((huge hugs))) You could never, ever offend me. Don't beat yourself up, seriously. You need these girls support and what they have to offer. I am so glad you spoke up so you can get what you need. I have felt that way so many times and it's been hard to say it. I think you are brave and I really hope you are in a much happier place very soon.
2 years, 2 surgeries, 2 clomid fails, 2 IUIs, 1 loss, IVF #1 - 10/25/10 = BFP!, DS is now 3.5yrs!
TTC #2 - 6/12 surgery #3, FET #1 & 1.2 = BFN, 12/2012 FET #2 = BFP! DD is 1.5 yrs!
Surprise! 12/16/14 BFP, loss #2 12/31/14
I can't wait for the "im getting a divorce" post in 5 years or so because your husbands were fed up with your disgusting chair asses from playing on the knot all day and getting fired 4-5 times for not doing any work. you guys are all winners!! ~ Laur929
I just want to say and be clear that if any of my responses ever came across as cold or mean I did not intend them to be AT ALL. I'm truly 100% happy for TTTC sucesses and I hope you ladies know that.
Note: I haven't looked at any of these posts today but I think I wrote "woohoo!!" or "yipppeee" or somthing like that and I meant it!
This is the part that made it obvious to me when I was reading the original posts. If you have a clearly marked pg post and there are snarky comments in it, it's hurtful.
Sorry, I'm not trying to stir the pot here. Just wanting to clarify why I said it was obvious.
I'm going to shut up now.
LO#1 - 19 cycles, 3 IUIs, 1 m/c, gonal-f, ganirelix, ovidrel, progesterone
Totally worth the wait!
Getting ready for #2
Back on Met, PCOS diet, prepping for treatments 1/12
Good luck to the wonderful ladies of 3T
Always cheering on my girls Gymnst1013 & MrsJohns
My Chart / Info for Newbies
I have to admit that I've posted an "awesome" in some drive-by posts on TTGP where I was being totally sarcastic.
It's really hard to judge tone on a message board but when you are familiar with someone's normal way of typing a post, if that person's post is typed differently, you can tell the tone is meant to be not exactly positive. I hope that made sense!
Edit - that being said, I'm beyond happy for everyone here who has gotten a BFP!! You all deserve it so much!! Personally, I'm in the camp of I want to see everyone, BFP or no, on 3T, but I totally respect that not everyone may want that and I'm an accomplished stalker - I will track you down when I want to know how you are doing
YGPM too
HA HA HA... this exactly!
I'm such an infrequent poster around here (the bump in general, not just 3T). I just feel like I'm in such a different place and I feel that often times I don't have anything to add to the conversation. I really should work on that though as you gals are awesome!
I've read all the responses and my vote was for the PG/Mamma's to stick around. Yes, it's VERY hard sometimes to see the tickers, etc. At the same time, it makes me smile because I know many of the women here have struggled as hard and harder than I am so it gives me a little bit of faith and hope to see that ticker or that ultrasound pic.
Does it sting sometimes when I come on and there's a whole slew of BFPS? Absolutely! Does it make my journey seem harder/worse? Some days but it also gives me hope. Yes, there are rough days. Those are the days I tend to stay away, but those are also the days that I need to be here the most. I need to know I'm not alone. Yet, I'm always thrilled for those that have finally seen the 2 lines.
I think there's a fine line that has to be walked. The infertility world is brutal. From my reading all the responses it looks like it's hard on the pregnant women too. I hope I don't offend anyone with this statement but I'm going to make it ... I think when we've all struggled so long and we have so much bitterness and anger towards the whole process, and especially when we've shared our incredible struggle, when the time comes to announce that BFP or to show off the ultrasound picture we want/need/expect (Take your pick) a strong support from all of the women that have walked your journey with you. So if someone is having a rough day and can only manage a "Congrats." it's taken personally when, maybe that wasn't really the intent. I can totally see why the pregnant mom would feel that it was cold and insensitive and wouldn't feel a part of things here any more. At the same time, I can see how the still struggling gal is feeling too. It hurts. You go through the why not me feelings.
Ugh, way longer winded then necessary so I'll shut up but first ... I think that IF is one of the most emotional journeys any of us have been on. Peoples feelings get easily hurt on both sides because we've all struggled.
I agree that starting new threads is a touchy subject for the PG mamas (unless you are paging someone or have something to share about infertility). I have noticed on IF that many women put SAIF Welcome in their siggies so that the pregnant gals know it's okay to post in those threads. Yes, you're always going to risk offending someone, but I think it's worth the risk.
That's my nickles worth!
Our Journey to Brenden
IVF #1: 4/11(Follistim/Menopur/Ganirelix) 10 retrieved/8 mature and all 8 fertilized / 2 embies transferred ... nothing to freeze Beta 5/10 = BFN
IVF Take 2 Long Lupron July 2011
ER 7/3/11 (our 6th anniversary) - 8 retrieved/7 mature/fert ....ET 7/6/11 - 2 beautiful grade A 8 cell embryos
Beta 7/18/11 - 149!!! Beta 7/21/11 - 311 Beta 7/28/11 - 2,000 8/5/11 - Empty Sac 8/8/11 - There's a yolk sac and maybe a heartbeat 8/12/11 - Fetal pole, yolk sac, heartbeat 8/18/11 - Baby looks GREAT!
3 babies waiting on ice
I know, me too!
~~ married 8.11.07
~~ DD1 1.16.11 ~~ DD2 1.3.14 ~~
~~ BFP3 12.22.15 MMC 2.29.16 @ 13 weeks ~~
~~ 2 D&Cs (3.1.16 and 3.10.16) for MMC
~~ BFP4 10.27.16 MMC 1.23.17 @ 16 weeks ~~ D&E 1.26.17 ~~
This (minus the note, I don't think I have responded with a "woohoo" or "yipppeee).
I tend to say "Congrats", "Congratulations", etc. I mean these whole heartedly. I haven't posted on this board long, but i have followed POF, CHW, Mrs. Johns, etc. since I first started posting on TTGP months ago (actually, before since I lurked before I joined). I think the tough part for me is that these are the things I say to my IRL friends. I didn't realize they would be taken as cold. I would probably consider "how nice for you" snarky, but I guess I didn't think a simple Congrats was snarky.
I hope I have not offended or hurt any of you ladies by anything I have said. You are all very deserving of your BFPs and I truly am happy for you. I love hearing your updates.
~SAIF/PAIF/Everyone Welcome~
Me= 37 and DH = 41
Dx: DOR, Endo, APA+ (really high beta 2 glycoprotein antibody and high everything else tested), heterozygous MTHFR mutation, positive for lupus anticoagulant, high FSH, low AMH and both tubes blocked (per HSG on 3/8/11)
IVF #1 - long lupron (with HGH, intralipids, lovenox and BA); 4 retrieved, 3 fertilized; ET 2 blasts and 1 frozen = BFN
IVF #2 - a version of antagonist with EPP (with HGH, intralipids, lovenox and BA); 6 retrieved, 4 mature, 3 fertilized, 2 blasts and 1 frozen blast transferred on day 5 = BFN.
IVF #3 April was postponed to May, May was canceled. June/July was canceled. Had a cyst aspiration and then began IVF #3 in August. ER on 8/22; ET on 8/24 with AH. +HPT on 9/5. Beta #1 (11dpo) = 3; Beta #2 (15dpo) = 29; Beta #3 (17dpo) = 60; Beta #4 (19 dpo) = 118. Heartbeat at 6 weeks 6 days =132. Lil is here!
TTC#2: Trigger + TI = BFN; Clomid + Trigger + IUI = BFN.
IVF #4: BCP + MDLF + Lovenox = 7R, 1F = Transferred 1 6-cell embryo on day 3 = BFN
IVF #5: MDLF + Lovenox = 4R, 1F = Transferred 1 10-cell compacting embryo on day 3 = BFN
IVF #6: (New RE): Long Antagonist November 2014 (transferred two 8 cell grade 1 embryos and froze one blast) = BFN
FET#1: BFN
As you are fond of saying, put your big girl panties on. This is a public message board and sometimes you are going to get responses you don't like.
Smug + pregnant=not a nice combination.
Are you kidding me with this? How on earth does your bolded comment come off as POF being smug? She has stayed off the board solely to spare the feelings of the women here - nothing could be nicer or more selfless.
Gotta love Chicken Shiit AEs that are too scared to say what they really want to say without hiding behind their AEs.
<a href="http://s941.photobucket.com/albums/ad259/laurens1122-bfp/?action=view
Oh FFS, it takes a special kind of loser to make an AE on an IF board. POF is anything but smug. Grow a pair and say this sh!t with your real SN.
2 years, 2 surgeries, 2 clomid fails, 2 IUIs, 1 loss, IVF #1 - 10/25/10 = BFP!, DS is now 3.5yrs!
TTC #2 - 6/12 surgery #3, FET #1 & 1.2 = BFN, 12/2012 FET #2 = BFP! DD is 1.5 yrs!
Surprise! 12/16/14 BFP, loss #2 12/31/14
I can't wait for the "im getting a divorce" post in 5 years or so because your husbands were fed up with your disgusting chair asses from playing on the knot all day and getting fired 4-5 times for not doing any work. you guys are all winners!! ~ Laur929
We're also fond of saying that pathetic trolls who don't have the balls to post under thier real name should GTFO...but you seem to have selective hearing regarding these matters.
agreed.
Yes!
This. That is a completely horrible thing for anyone to say If board or no. And, POF definitely deserves better than to have someone say something like that.
~SAIF/PAIF/Everyone Welcome~
Me= 37 and DH = 41
Dx: DOR, Endo, APA+ (really high beta 2 glycoprotein antibody and high everything else tested), heterozygous MTHFR mutation, positive for lupus anticoagulant, high FSH, low AMH and both tubes blocked (per HSG on 3/8/11)
IVF #1 - long lupron (with HGH, intralipids, lovenox and BA); 4 retrieved, 3 fertilized; ET 2 blasts and 1 frozen = BFN
IVF #2 - a version of antagonist with EPP (with HGH, intralipids, lovenox and BA); 6 retrieved, 4 mature, 3 fertilized, 2 blasts and 1 frozen blast transferred on day 5 = BFN.
IVF #3 April was postponed to May, May was canceled. June/July was canceled. Had a cyst aspiration and then began IVF #3 in August. ER on 8/22; ET on 8/24 with AH. +HPT on 9/5. Beta #1 (11dpo) = 3; Beta #2 (15dpo) = 29; Beta #3 (17dpo) = 60; Beta #4 (19 dpo) = 118. Heartbeat at 6 weeks 6 days =132. Lil is here!
TTC#2: Trigger + TI = BFN; Clomid + Trigger + IUI = BFN.
IVF #4: BCP + MDLF + Lovenox = 7R, 1F = Transferred 1 6-cell embryo on day 3 = BFN
IVF #5: MDLF + Lovenox = 4R, 1F = Transferred 1 10-cell compacting embryo on day 3 = BFN
IVF #6: (New RE): Long Antagonist November 2014 (transferred two 8 cell grade 1 embryos and froze one blast) = BFN
FET#1: BFN
I also completely agree with this. I don't have a lot of time on the Bump many days, but I have lurked on Tri/Month boards to find updates on several posters from TTGP and TTTC.
~SAIF/PAIF/Everyone Welcome~
Me= 37 and DH = 41
Dx: DOR, Endo, APA+ (really high beta 2 glycoprotein antibody and high everything else tested), heterozygous MTHFR mutation, positive for lupus anticoagulant, high FSH, low AMH and both tubes blocked (per HSG on 3/8/11)
IVF #1 - long lupron (with HGH, intralipids, lovenox and BA); 4 retrieved, 3 fertilized; ET 2 blasts and 1 frozen = BFN
IVF #2 - a version of antagonist with EPP (with HGH, intralipids, lovenox and BA); 6 retrieved, 4 mature, 3 fertilized, 2 blasts and 1 frozen blast transferred on day 5 = BFN.
IVF #3 April was postponed to May, May was canceled. June/July was canceled. Had a cyst aspiration and then began IVF #3 in August. ER on 8/22; ET on 8/24 with AH. +HPT on 9/5. Beta #1 (11dpo) = 3; Beta #2 (15dpo) = 29; Beta #3 (17dpo) = 60; Beta #4 (19 dpo) = 118. Heartbeat at 6 weeks 6 days =132. Lil is here!
TTC#2: Trigger + TI = BFN; Clomid + Trigger + IUI = BFN.
IVF #4: BCP + MDLF + Lovenox = 7R, 1F = Transferred 1 6-cell embryo on day 3 = BFN
IVF #5: MDLF + Lovenox = 4R, 1F = Transferred 1 10-cell compacting embryo on day 3 = BFN
IVF #6: (New RE): Long Antagonist November 2014 (transferred two 8 cell grade 1 embryos and froze one blast) = BFN
FET#1: BFN
This!
LO#1 - 19 cycles, 3 IUIs, 1 m/c, gonal-f, ganirelix, ovidrel, progesterone
Totally worth the wait!
Getting ready for #2
Back on Met, PCOS diet, prepping for treatments 1/12
Good luck to the wonderful ladies of 3T
Always cheering on my girls Gymnst1013 & MrsJohns
My Chart / Info for Newbies
Yea... totally. Just ignore, love.
POF, coward biitches don't deserve your time and energy.
Edit: And some giant hugs and prayers about that last part.
LO#1 - 19 cycles, 3 IUIs, 1 m/c, gonal-f, ganirelix, ovidrel, progesterone
Totally worth the wait!
Getting ready for #2
Back on Met, PCOS diet, prepping for treatments 1/12
Good luck to the wonderful ladies of 3T
Always cheering on my girls Gymnst1013 & MrsJohns
My Chart / Info for Newbies
This for me as well. Sometimes I only post a "yay" or simple "congrats" but have never meant it sarcastically.
After I got my bfp I shyed away from the board as well. Not bc I didn't want to be here, but bc I wasn't for sure how my posts would be received. So, I know how you girls feel. Now that I am back on the other side, I can say that I do not think any of the bfp's have been AW'ing. I may not open some posts about u/s if I am having a really bad day, but that doesn't mean I care about them any less.
Love & luck to my 3TC girls. Congrats to Omega-The boys are here!
If there's one thing I've learned while waiting my turn,
it's that in each life some rain falls but you also get some sun.
After 2 years & 2 losses, our little man arrived 8-2011.
POF, Fvck the AE! I wouldn't respond to their post in the first place. AE's are full of BS. You are not smug and never have been. The AE is probably a Newb that got biitched out!! Fvck her!!
As for your clot/baby! I am so sorry hon!! Huge hugs!!! I will go to the tri boards and hunt you down for updates!
I'm late to this, but wanted to add my 2 cents.
I haven't seen the u/s or update posts where people left snarky comments, but if that is the case that's horrible. I don't see what the big deal is if there's a warning on the subject field. If someone is having a bad day or just doesn't care to hear about someone's u/s, beta, etc, then don't open it! It seems pretty simple to me.
To me the whole point of 3T is to support eachother, no matter what part of our journey we're all on. Even if someone is pregnant now, they understand what we're all still going through, because they've been there too, and they're still rooting for us. It doesn't mean it's o.k. to AW their pregnancies here, but I haven't seen that yet.
I'm just not sure how this all got brought up because I haven't seen anyone cross the line with AW, and I haven't seen anyone trying to force them off the board.
this.
First off, POF you are in my thoughts and prayers. I'm so sorry that you are going through this after everything you've had to deal with. Secondly, I honestly mean everything I say on this board. This post is making me paranoid. I really hope I haven't offended anyone. This board helps to keep me sane.
Omg hun, I'm so sorry to hear this, and I'm even sorrier that some lameass AE is what caused you to feel the need to share this information in this matter. I will be praying for you that that this is a very healthy pregnancy with no other complications.
Otherwise, I've stayed out this post because honestly, I don't care. The pregnant girls can post here, or I can just stalk them and keep up with them on one of the other boards, either is fine with me.
I was trying to figure out how to word all this and you said it well. So ditto.
Ladies, I know I'm late to this, but I wanted to say a few things.
Firstly, I am very proud with how this post has gone (minus the AE of course). I think you all have managed to discuss a very, very sensitive topic maturely and with consideration, and I am happy to see it happen.
Secondly, I'll be honest, it is sometimes hard for me to see bfps and updates, partly because of the IF, and partly because of our m/c. But those feelings are soley my own, and do not reflect whatsoever on our TTTC ladies who've had successes, nor do my difficulties make me love you any less. I would hope that any responses that I've made haven't come across as snarky or less than enthusiastic, as that is not how I intended them, but I understand how easy it can be to misinterpret things on the internet.
I didn't vote on the poll because I'm on the fence as to how I feel. This is a TTC board, but I like to keep track of how my ladies are doing. As long as things can stay on a considerate, non-AW level, then I think that minimizes the potential for problems as much as possible.
***POF: I had no idea about the blod clot and the RE's findings. You, your hubs, and your sweet babe are in my thoughts and my prayers, and I hope all goes well. ::Giant hugs:: to you.
It's 100% absolutely wonderful if you do that.
I agree, I think you are welcome to comment and post whenever you'd like. I feel the same as flgirl.