FIL Called DH yesterday...
So that he could voice his concerns over our parenting!
He is worried that we are being too "rigid" and strict with S and that we are going to raise a "control freak who is unable to cope with the world".
He was upset b/c when they come to visit for Easter I reminded them
when S's typical bedtime was. They like to try and keep her up later
than she needs to be which leads to an overtired, fussy baby.
DH grew up on the top of a mountain with no rules, no dr's visits (even after his brother hit him in the head with a pic ax), and generally no restrictions. DH decided to move into the barn/shed thing when he was 12 and that was totally fine.
First off, S is a baby so there is nothing rigid about our lives. Secondly, I do think that structure and guidance are important for children. We do have a routine during the day but it is one that S sets and is every changing as she grows. As S gets older we will have household rules and routines. I firmly believe that part of parenting is to teach your kids the skills to make their own choices- part of this for me is to guide them with structure. Granted I am not a rigid person but running completly amuck isnt my or DH's style.
I wonder how he would feel if we were not pretty AP! Can you imagine how upset he would be if we chose another parenting route?!?
Re: FIL Called DH yesterday...
I would comment when you see them that you appreciate them being direct about their concerns, but also tell them that you feel comfortable with your decision to have a baby-driven sleep schedule.
They may disagree, and they will likely disagree often, but they sound as though they want to build a respectful relationship.
http://oi62.tinypic.com/2w73hq9.jpg
It's kind of refreshing to read about in laws who think attachment parenting is TOO rigid. It's also kind of refreshing to read about a busybody FIL instead of a MIL.
Sorry, no suggestions here. But, it sounds like you've got a handle on the situation and the right attitude about it.
I love that they think a 5 month old with a sleep schedule is going to grow up to be a control freak. lol!
It sounds like you have the situation under control, but for you own sanity, I hope you can laugh off their criticisms.
Eh. Its just his POV. I'd say "Noted" and not talk about it.
Two things are happening
1- He has horrible memories of his own childhood that he projecting onto your baby.
and/or
2- He wants validation for his parenting style by you doing the same thing.
Both are his issues to resolve. You can't do it for him. Anyway, I can't imagine that he didn't find it annoying to get these comments about HIS parenting back in the day.
Yeah we do laugh them off 99% of the time. I do think its funny that we are seen as rigid when we are considered radical and permissive by many in our area.
I am now off to put down my rigidly scheduled baby for her afternoon nap