Toddler Mamma Check in?

howleyshell

Hey ladies!

It's so cool that more and more ladies are graduating to the "toddler" phase every day.

How about a check in from time to time to share challenges, tricks, and just plain AW our ever growing little people??

 

And.... GO: 

howleyshell

Tip:

With warmer weather approaching I'll share a trick I learned on the toddler boards last year.

If you're like us and try to avoid sugar it's really not an option for kids to have treats like popcicles and ice cream daily but a cold treat is such a fun part of summer!

Instead try buying the yogurt in a stick (go-gurt) and pop it in the freezer.

Voila:  Cold fun treat.  They think it's ice cream but you're really helping them get a good serving of calcium!  Of course there's some sugar but way less than other cold summer treats.

 

 

DavezWife

Evidently, if you want your toddler to sleep the entire night without crying out for you to tuck them back in 3 times, getting  up to pee, and sleep in.... All you gotta do is ASK!

I literally had a lil' talk with Ava last nite before bed, and she did EXACTLY what I suggested. Obviously I'm not dumb, I know it was a fluke, but she didn't wake up EVEN ONCE, and woke up at 8am, DRY pants and bed, and was the cutest and happiest kid I've seen in a long time. We're going on 98 minutes without one foot stomp or 'toode.

So just ask ;-)   brruuhaaaa!!!!

CMM05

Sounds great!!

SeaSoul

i'd love to be part of a check-in...and thanks for the tips!

mmcarlson1

I'd love to be a part of this and thanks for the tips.  I am sure we will be trying the yogurt trick this summer.

nickoletta100

Our big deal right now is all of the talking and new words. She is starting to put 2 and 3 words together now too. It also surprises me every day what she understands!

howleyshell

DavezWife:

 Obviously I'm not dumb, I know it was a fluke,

Don't be so sure that it was a fluke.

It's amazing when you finally start to just have frank conversations with them and they actually listen.

Hopefully this is the beginning of a beautiful trend!

Enjoy your toodlessness this morning! 

rispergirl

Shelly - love the toddler check-in idea.  And the yogurt pop is awesome.  Sneaky!

Davez - you need to write a book!  Why hasn't anyone discovered this before??  

I feel weird posting this because it's a public board, but I also am going to go MIA and want to let my buddies know anyway soooo...

We're about to leave on a 1300+ mile road trip with twin toddlers and I'm FREAKED OUT!!  Actually, what I'm most concerned about is the hotel stay.  We're going to roll into a motel after 12 hours on the road and try to sleep all in one room.  I am terrified that they are going to scream at the top of their very loud lungs for an hour and we're going to be thrown out of the hotel.  Eep!  Advice?  (Oh, this is just for the one night and then it's back on the road for another long haul in the morning.  We're not staying in a hotel for our vacay though, thank goodness!) 

ESTH2000

Love this idea!!!

So...in order for Bella to stay put in her highchair I have to do this whole song and dance along with this fake elmo cd player..I look like a silly mad woman but hey...she ends up eating most of her food...the rest is on the floor or eaten by dog but its a small victory!!!

She has also started screaming when she is not happy..the nanny tells me we can thank her granddaughter who is 4yrs old for this...I try telling Bella to relax and wait when she screams ....sometimes it works other times it doesn't and I find myself giving in...I'm started a bad thing here, aren't I? Like scream and you will get what you want

I have to say how amazing it is to see this little toddler walking around the house and then walking really fast toward me to hug....it is the most beautiful sight and feeling ever...I just can't believe I have a walking little human in my house..lol

and now for the AW. We bought this fridge magnet that sounds out letters and sings the alphabet..Bella will play with it for a few minutes and lately I have caught her repeating or just singing along and make the sounds of the letters...last night she was going MMMMMMMMM and SSSSSSSSSSS whenever the "M" or "S" were in the slots....soooooo cute ...oh and it might have been you who suggested this magnet...thanks!

I have so much more to share and questions to ask...but gotta get back to work..will pop in later to see what's going on!

thanks for this check in!!

howleyshell

ESTH2000:

I try telling Bella to relax and wait when she screams ....sometimes it works other times it doesn't and I find myself giving in...I'm started a bad thing here, aren't I? Like scream and you will get what you want

Advice:

"relax" is hard for a young tot to understand and process and even harder for them to do .... especially once they've really ramped up and are in full tilt flip out mode.

Think about the things that you do to help you relax and teach them to her.

For some it's getting them to start counting with you.

For us it's deep breathing.  That's a hard thing to explain to a toddler so we do "blow".  I tell them to blow and they look at me and blow like they're blowing up a balloon.  If they're not slowing their breathing I tell them to blow harder and make Mamma's hair move.  Turns it into a game and helps them focus their deep breaths.

Once they're breathing deep and their pulse and respiration slow then I tell them:  "OK.  now let's use our words instead of screaming" and we go from there.

 

And... glad she's loving the letters!  Leap frog is awesome. 

 

 

Anyone else have tips for how you help your tot calm down during a screaming fest?

 

 

 

 

 

DavezWife

booze? (wait, that's for mommies. NM)

charmcitygirl

I love the idea - I don't know if I'll have much advice quite yet, but I'd love to talk to other toddler mamas! 

 

howleyshell

DavezWife:

booze? (wait, that's for mommies. NM)

Yup.... if DH sees a glass on the counter when he walks in from work and I'm cooking dinner he just smiles, gives me a big hug and goes to take over with the kids.

It's like the bat signal. 

Smart man. 

ESTH2000

howleyshell:

ESTH2000:

I try telling Bella to relax and wait when she screams ....sometimes it works other times it doesn't and I find myself giving in...I'm started a bad thing here, aren't I? Like scream and you will get what you want

Advice:

"relax" is hard for a young tot to understand and process and even harder for them to do .... especially once they've really ramped up and are in full tilt flip out mode.

Think about the things that you do to help you relax and teach them to her.

For some it's getting them to start counting with you.

For us it's deep breathing.  That's a hard thing to explain to a toddler so we do "blow".  I tell them to blow and they look at me and blow like they're blowing up a balloon.  If they're not slowing their breathing I tell them to blow harder and make Mamma's hair move.  Turns it into a game and helps them focus their deep breaths.

Once they're breathing deep and their pulse and respiration slow then I tell them:  "OK.  now let's use our words instead of screaming" and we go from there.

 

And... glad she's loving the letters!  Leap frog is awesome. 

 

 

Anyone else have tips for how you help your tot calm down during a screaming fest?

 

 

 

 

 

Thank you so much for this advice! I am always worried of doing it wrong.  I loved the discussion the other day of how to redirect and go in a positive way when it comes to discipline...it can be so hard...especially coming from a home where that way of raising children was not the norm..growing up..if you did something wrong..you were told NO and then lightly smacked on the hand...of course I was a good kid so this didn't apply to me..lol

You are awesome and such a wise mommy...You and Davez should really right a book!!

howleyshell

I forgot to add....

You need to teach the "blow" thing (or other calming techniques) during regular play and before they're actually upset.  Once they get it and understand what you mean when you say blow - then you can use it when they're upset. 

JGirl2005

good idea!!!  I know I read that if your child is throwing a tantrum to put them in a safe place (crib or somewhere they can't hurt themselves) and understand that if they are frustrated crying is how they communicate that.  My son throws himself backwards when I drop him off at daycare, so I know not to put him on the tile when I leave him...hahaha

rockvillebride

Love this idea! And thanks for the awesome advice already!

navyandviolet

ohhh, i like this.  Ok so my biggest problem is poop.  She is potty trained and was going poop on the potty too.  But about three weeks ago she seemed to develop a huge fear of going poop on the potty.  She would scream and hold it in if you would sit her on it to go poop.  She would'nt go in a daiper either because she doesn't like diapers anymore. She will hold her poop for a week at a time until she is so uncomfortable she wont sleep a wink at night.  keep in mind she used to poop one to two times a day.  It is taking over our lives.  She is in so much pain but wont poop.  what to do???

JillRock96

Love this idea! 

howleyshell:

DavezWife:

booze? (wait, that's for mommies. NM)

Yup.... if DH sees a glass on the counter when he walks in from work and I'm cooking dinner he just smiles, gives me a big hug and goes to take over with the kids.

It's like the bat signal. 

Smart man. 

He's a keeper for sure.   

beebaby

this is a fabulous idea and i already love the tips and advice that have been posted.  

anyone have any suggestions about nightmares.  we are right back into them again the past two nights.  She will wake up screaming and it takes a bit to settle her down again, but the real problem is once we have taken the time to console her, trying to put her back in the crib makes her hysterical as if the crib is going to eat her alive.  it breaks my heart.

DavezWife

navy&violet:

ohhh, i like this.  Ok so my biggest problem is poop.  She is potty trained and was going poop on the potty too.  But about three weeks ago she seemed to develop a huge fear of going poop on the potty.  She would scream and hold it in if you would sit her on it to go poop.  She would'nt go in a daiper either because she doesn't like diapers anymore. She will hold her poop for a week at a time until she is so uncomfortable she wont sleep a wink at night.  keep in mind she used to poop one to two times a day.  It is taking over our lives.  She is in so much pain but wont poop.  what to do???

how about just giving her more juice/fruit/whatever makes her poop (and skip the nanas) and loosen it up a bit? Ava hates to poop in the toilet, so she waits until, as Davez puts it, a "turtle head is poking thru" and then we deal with skid marks and/or a turd or two in the panties. Then she feels bad. Then "Dora is ishy". Then there's drama.

I have found that recently, if I know she's due to doo-doo,  I have been known to say "we'll go to the park AFTER you poop."  That has seemed to help. She has an excuse to go, or something.

but she may hate to poop b/c it's painful. And it may be painful b/c she's constipated. Vicious circle. Soften those turds up ;-)  lol.

howleyshell

beebaby:

anyone have any suggestions about nightmares.  we are right back into them again the past two nights.  She will wake up screaming and it takes a bit to settle her down again, but the real problem is once we have taken the time to console her, trying to put her back in the crib makes her hysterical as if the crib is going to eat her alive.  it breaks my heart.

The only one I've got for that is to stay by the crib.

I'd put him in saying over and over again "Mamma's right here, Mamma's right here" 

With Jace I had to lay on the floor with my arm thru the crib slat rubbing his back until he settled down.

Then I learned that if he wasn't crying hysterically it was better not to take him out of the crib in the first place so instead I'll reach in and hug him, lay him back down and reach all the way in to hug him while he's laying down and then keep a hand on him for a while.  Singing usually helps too.  Gives his little brain something to focus on.

Granted.... I'm short so it makes my back hurt like hell but it cuts the time we needed to spend up in the middle of the night by a lot so it's worth it to me. 

 

navyandviolet

DavezWife:

navy&violet:

ohhh, i like this.  Ok so my biggest problem is poop.  She is potty trained and was going poop on the potty too.  But about three weeks ago she seemed to develop a huge fear of going poop on the potty.  She would scream and hold it in if you would sit her on it to go poop.  She would'nt go in a daiper either because she doesn't like diapers anymore. She will hold her poop for a week at a time until she is so uncomfortable she wont sleep a wink at night.  keep in mind she used to poop one to two times a day.  It is taking over our lives.  She is in so much pain but wont poop.  what to do???

Ahh yes, the fiber.  We have been offering more for her, but she still manages to hold it.  But I do agree that what we have now is a vicious cycle.  Thanks for the tip though, I need to remember to keep giving her more.

how about just giving her more juice/fruit/whatever makes her poop (and skip the nanas) and loosen it up a bit? Ava hates to poop in the toilet, so she waits until, as Davez puts it, a "turtle head is poking thru" and then we deal with skid marks and/or a turd or two in the panties. Then she feels bad. Then "Dora is ishy". Then there's drama.

I have found that recently, if I know she's due to doo-doo,  I have been known to say "we'll go to the park AFTER you poop."  That has seemed to help. She has an excuse to go, or something.

but she may hate to poop b/c it's painful. And it may be painful b/c she's constipated. Vicious circle. Soften those turds up ;-)  lol.

howleyshell

DavezWife:

navy&violet:

ohhh, i like this.  Ok so my biggest problem is poop.  She is potty trained and was going poop on the potty too.  But about three weeks ago she seemed to develop a huge fear of going poop on the potty.  She would scream and hold it in if you would sit her on it to go poop.  She would'nt go in a daiper either because she doesn't like diapers anymore. She will hold her poop for a week at a time until she is so uncomfortable she wont sleep a wink at night.  keep in mind she used to poop one to two times a day.  It is taking over our lives.  She is in so much pain but wont poop.  what to do???

how about just giving her more juice/fruit/whatever makes her poop (and skip the nanas) and loosen it up a bit? Ava hates to poop in the toilet, so she waits until, as Davez puts it, a "turtle head is poking thru" and then we deal with skid marks and/or a turd or two in the panties. Then she feels bad. Then "Dora is ishy". Then there's drama.

I have found that recently, if I know she's due to doo-doo,  I have been known to say "we'll go to the park AFTER you poop."  That has seemed to help. She has an excuse to go, or something.

but she may hate to poop b/c it's painful. And it may be painful b/c she's constipated. Vicious circle. Soften those turds up ;-)  lol.

Totally agree!  Dried fruit is great for this.  My guys would eat dried apricots until they pooped liquid if I let them.  (sorry - that was gross)

I totally agree with "You can do x after you poop on the potty" - especially when you know she NEEDS to go.

Also - bribe with cute underwear.  Let her pick out some cool ones, put her in boring solid color ones and tell her she can wear her princess underwear (or what ever) as soon as she puts a poop in the potty.  Let her hold them, walk around the house with them, keep them in the bathroom so every time she's sitting to pee she sees the holy grail. 

If she's got a favorite character this might work better than you'd imagine.  

Both my guys would sit and push in order to get Thomas or Buzz Lightyear booties.

And... push with her.  Make a poop face, encourage her to use the muscles to actually push it out.  When we went thru the poop regression with Dylan it was because he was waiting for it to fall out.  He wouldn't put the effort to push it out.  Then constipation, then it's REALLY hard to push out, then the cycle gets out of control.

GL! 

beebaby

howleyshell:

beebaby:

anyone have any suggestions about nightmares.  we are right back into them again the past two nights.  She will wake up screaming and it takes a bit to settle her down again, but the real problem is once we have taken the time to console her, trying to put her back in the crib makes her hysterical as if the crib is going to eat her alive.  it breaks my heart.

The only one I've got for that is to stay by the crib.

I'd put him in saying over and over again "Mamma's right here, Mamma's right here" 

With Jace I had to lay on the floor with my arm thru the crib slat rubbing his back until he settled down.

Then I learned that if he wasn't crying hysterically it was better not to take him out of the crib in the first place so instead I'll reach in and hug him, lay him back down and reach all the way in to hug him while he's laying down and then keep a hand on him for a while.  Singing usually helps too.  Gives his little brain something to focus on.

Granted.... I'm short so it makes my back hurt like hell but it cuts the time we needed to spend up in the middle of the night by a lot so it's worth it to me. 

 

thanks!  we (either myself or DH) have been picking her up initially to calm her down and get her to snap out of it, telling her "it's ok, it was just a dream, we are right here" and then once the deep hiccuping type of crying has passed, we put her back in and lean over and "shhhhh" her and tell her the same thing.  but man, it is so sad, because she clings to us as we are putting her down and then once down she starts throwing herself around the crib, thrashing as if the crib was the source of the nightmare.  i have never seen her act like this before.  we stay there rubbing her belly or back until she calms down a bit, but it just makes me wonder, is there a way to stop these nightmares before they start?  or is it just a developmental phase that all toddlers go through and they will wane on their own?  thanks again for the help.  it makes me feel tons better to know that it is normal and other toddlers are experiencing the same thing.

JGirl2005

beebaby:

this is a fabulous idea and i already love the tips and advice that have been posted.  

anyone have any suggestions about nightmares.  we are right back into them again the past two nights.  She will wake up screaming and it takes a bit to settle her down again, but the real problem is once we have taken the time to console her, trying to put her back in the crib makes her hysterical as if the crib is going to eat her alive.  it breaks my heart.

We don't have this yet, but I would avoid anything sweet after 5pm (not sure what time your LO goes to bed).  I know for me, I get nightmares if I eat chocolate later than 5pm.  cocoa before bed, god help me. 

keg

I think it's a great idea!

I love all the tips so far.  It's funny, but I put two containers of yogurt in the freezer this morning for pseudo-ice cream.  DH really likes the Yoplait Whips and of course DDs like them too.  We'll see if they are a hit frozen later.

My tip is for cheap toys:  My DDs LOVE boxes of granola bars.  They get them out of the pantry, spend what seem like hours putting them in and out of the boxes, and carry the bars and boxes around the house.  You do have to do a granola bar roundup every so often, but for a relatively painless toy, I think it's worth it.  

LucyPevensie

LOVE this idea!!  Love, love.

My toddler is working on upper molars right now, as a result, we're all over tired and crabby. 

I am loving the positive parenting tips and just printed out 2 copies of the "say no to no" article - one more me/DH - and one for my mom (Jack's care provider when we're at work.)

I'm too tired to think properly right now - so that's all I got!  But I love this thread and the Toddler Check-In idea!