SAHMs, do you have a "deadline" for going back to wk?

amyinaustin

Meaning, have you and your DH talked about when/if you will go back to work?  DH and I talked about it a while ago, and we both feel that I'd go back to work for sure once DD's in school all day - but if we have another kiddo, I'd want to be home for them too so that might buy me a few years.  We'd originally talked about me only staying home for 2 years w/ DD, but once I realized that she would not really be in preschool yet, I wanted to stay home longer - plus those 2 years go by super quick!

Of course, that is assuming all goes well and I don't HAVE to go back to work in a dire financial situation or something.

I'm really scared to go back to work now that I'm a mom - working moms are complete super heroes and I have no idea how they do it!

Kim777

Once they are in school I will start subbing. That way I can still be off for their parties, field trips, etc. I can't pay childcare for all 3 on a teacher's salary and Monte can make more just doing side work than a teacher's salary pays, so even though the construction industry sucks right now I know I won't be going back anytime soon.

mlf625

I don't know that I will ever work FT outside the home again, unless I absolutely had to.  I want to be very active in my kids' schools when they get there, be free to travel on school breaks, be available to my kids in the summers, etc.  So in my opinion, the school years are just as important as the before-school years when it comes to my personal feelings on SAH.

jacks123

I feel the same way.  It is important to me to be home with the kids get home from school and be available in the summers, breaks, etc.  I do work part time now and plan to continue to work part time throughout my children's childhood.  Thankfully I am in a career where there is a lot of flexibility with my work schedule. 

Fa1ryG0dm0ther

Unforseen financial issues aside....(that would change everything.)

We actually talked about this again (for the first time in a long time) just last night.  I don't really WANT to go back to work full time.  I love the flexibility that I have to do things with the kids, go help my family, and do things around the house.  I may take another part time job when the kids are all in school for my own personal sanity, but it would just be to have something that's "mine." (I won't be doing weddings FOREVER.  I'm sure some day I'll feel like my body is too old for it!)  I want to be at swimming lessons, football games, UIL meets, or what ever our kids want to do while they are in school.  I also want to be able to drop everything and drive to Dallas if my grandparents need help (or my parents, eventually.)  I feel like life goes by too fast, and ultimately, I don't want to have any regrets.  Right now, we're fortunate enough to have this option.  I know it may not always be this way.

And single moms with 3 kids who work full time and still do everything else ARE  beyond super hero status in my book!  I have no idea how they do it.

brideonjuly8

DH wants me to go back to work when all our kids are in school all day, but it's pretty important for me to be home when they get home, participate in school stuff, etc, so unless I absolutely have to I don't see going FT anytime soon.  I might try to find something PT, in the mornings or during the day or something. 

michelleaxo

mlf625:

I don't know that I will ever work FT outside the home again, unless I absolutely had to.  I want to be very active in my kids' schools when they get there, be free to travel on school breaks, be available to my kids in the summers, etc.  So in my opinion, the school years are just as important as the before-school years when it comes to my personal feelings on SAH.

I feel the same way. My mom was home with me when I was a child and she was very active in my school. I soooooo wish I could SAH with DD (even if I could work from home). I hate sitting at work while she is learning and developing. I don't want to miss a moment.

mrssnflwr

I was thinking about this today! As long as our financial situation is okay, I really don't see going back to work FT. If I found the perfect position, I would consider PT after they are in school, but it would have to be flexible so I could go on field trips, etc. 

ali-1411

I'm kinda looking for a job now.  I've stay home for a year, and while I love the lifestyle I'm bored.  It has to be the right job for me to accept, though.  I recently cancelled an interview because the pay was crap and I wouldn't have enjoyed the work.  Not worth it.  I'm also trying to figure out how to get into school for my master's.  I want to have a career.  All I've had were crappy jobs that were flexible for a single mom.  I want more than that, and I'm not going to have it without more school.

Funny enough...I was much more involved with Jakob's school when I worked.  It was easy to take a couple hours off to volunteer or go to a daytime function.  Now its impossible because I don't have anyone to watch Layna.

My mom keeps telling me to do something, don't get into a rut.  She stayed home with her kids and never went back to work.  Now she's 55 and depressed because she never did anything with her life.  I'm determined to make something of myself completely outside of my kids and my marriage. 

Mrs.Froggianna

brideonjuly8:

DH wants me to go back to work when all our kids are in school all day, but it's pretty important for me to be home when they get home, participate in school stuff, etc, so unless I absolutely have to I don't see going FT anytime soon.  I might try to find something PT, in the mornings or during the day or something. 

This, barring any financial difficulties.  I want to have something outside of the family that is mine, but now that I'm a mom I have different feelings on how important it is to be there for my kiddos after school and in the summer.

KateAggie

mlf625:

I don't know that I will ever work FT outside the home again, unless I absolutely had to.  I want to be very active in my kids' schools when they get there, be free to travel on school breaks, be available to my kids in the summers, etc.  So in my opinion, the school years are just as important as the before-school years when it comes to my personal feelings on SAH.

Ditto.  Add to that, I expect that we will move numerous times over the years for DH's career, and his career will always be the priority (as much my choice as his).

Angie&Doc

I don't have any plans on returning to work any time soon. If I do, it would be once all of my kids are in school full time and I would ONLY work the mornings and afternoon until they got out. I would want to be home when they get home.

My mom was always a sahm up until 10 years ago. There is no better feeling than knowing my mom was there at home if I forgot my lunch, was sick, or needed her to pick me up. She was always there. I loved that. I want to be the same for my kids. If it means we don't drive fancy cars, or go out to eat as much as others, so be it.

FeistyFille

In my field, I've heard you're considered somewhat obsolete after more than 2 years out if you want to work in industry & more than 5 years if you want to teach.  In that respect, I have a deadline & it sucks.  And that's not even considering what I want to do because I'm still not sure.  I'm really torn between having a career and being a SAHM.  DH and I have talked about it, and if all continues to go well, there's a chance I wouldn't necessarily have to work, but I honestly don't know if I'd be happy with that.  We're playing it by ear for now. 

gabrielle20

FeistyFille:

In my field, I've heard you're considered somewhat obsolete after more than 2 years out if you want to work in industry & more than 5 years if you want to teach.  In that respect, I have a deadline & it sucks.  And that's not even considering what I want to do because I'm still not sure.  I'm really torn between having a career and being a SAHM.  DH and I have talked about it, and if all continues to go well, there's a chance I wouldn't necessarily have to work, but I honestly don't know if I'd be happy with that.  We're playing it by ear for now. 

sucks, huh? But I get about 6 months off before I start my post-doc...Yay!!! 

balihaigirl

FeistyFille:

In my field, I've heard you're considered somewhat obsolete after more than 2 years out if you want to work in industry & more than 5 years if you want to teach.  In that respect, I have a deadline & it sucks.  And that's not even considering what I want to do because I'm still not sure.  I'm really torn between having a career and being a SAHM.  DH and I have talked about it, and if all continues to go well, there's a chance I wouldn't necessarily have to work, but I honestly don't know if I'd be happy with that.  We're playing it by ear for now. 

I'm really thinking of you and hope you can make the best decision for you and your family.  I know how much work you must have put in (only because I can see how many hours my crazy husband has put in so far) and can see how this would be such a struggle.  ((hugs))

Good luck and I'm sure it will all work out - no matter what you decide!

MrsAJL

We don't have a deadline and don't anticipate my needing to go back to work for financial reasons.  Personally, I would like to be doing work that I enjoy and has flexibility for when our children are in school.

I am looking to do a complete career change so I do want to go back to school.  My husband is currently in school but will graduate next summer (2011).  My goal is to start taking pre-req classes in the Fall of 2011. I'd like to apply to be accepted for fall of 2013 (when DS will be in Kinder). 

Now, somewhere in all these plans is our desire to have a 2nd baby.  That could put things off for a year or so, but I the track I'm looking at isn't really time sensitive.

So to answer your question: no deadline but I would like to be working when the children are in elementary school.

Angie&Doc

MrsRosie:

Angie&Doc:

There is no better feeling than knowing my mom was there at home if I forgot my lunch, was sick, or needed her to pick me up. She was always there. I loved that. I want to be the same for my kids. If it means we don't drive fancy cars, or go out to eat as much as others, so be it.

FWIW, I work FT and do all of these things, we don't drive fancy cars, and we eat out maybe once a month if that.  Not trying to come off as definsive, just stating all these things occur on a regular basis whether both parents are working or not.

What I meant was, we don't do near as much as we 'could' if I did work. We choose to not have all of the luxuries that our friends who both work have. Not saying that everyone is in or has the same situation.

NoVA-grl

I could have written this post word-for-word!  I've been thinking a lot about this too.  I am really enjoying being a SAHM.  My mom and DH's mom were both SAHMs as well so it was important for both of us.  We had always planned for it and have been saving so it is still financially possible.  I'm just not sure how long I will be a SAHM.  We want to have more child(ren?), so I will want to stay home with them as well.
Going back to work definitely scares me, especially since my tech skills will probably be obsolete after too many years :-(
I think our plan is to just play it by ear.  If something happens to come up and I could work from home PT that would be good.  Otherwise, I'm content with immersing myself in the kids' activities and staying busy with other activities.

kiarox2002

Originally I was only going to stay home for one year, but with our tax return and babysitting one day I week I am going to be able to stay home for two years.  We are living on savings right now though.  Hopefully I can work it to stay home longer, but it depends on money.  We would love for me to stay home until Kate is in elementary school, but I don't see it happening.  

Luckily, I teach so I will have most holidays and summer off with Kate when I do go back to work.  I chose this career with this in mind. 

2H2L

Kind of related, I think.  We're working toward J being a SAHD/working PT and staying PT when both kids are in school full-time.  We're making it work right now, both working FT. We both spend as much time with Ocho (and soon Nove) as we can, but we don't have much time all together at all.  If J went to and stayed PT, we could actually all be together more.  Our goal is for him to cut back hours, even when the kids are in school.