Another name ?

SeasideBride06

DH's cousin and her husband are also our very close friends.  About 5 years ago, her husband's 16 year old sister was killed in a car accident, her name was Haley.

I LOVE the name Haley, but wouldn't use it because of this when we had DD.  My DH doesn't think it is a big deal, but I can't stand the thoughts of it bothering our friends.  

What do you all think?  Should Haley be off-limits?

J+R

Are you naming your child to HONOR the deceased girl?  If so, I would talk with your friends/cousins about this and see how they feel...

If you aren't doing that and just naming her Haley because you LOVE it, I would maybe spell it differently (Hailey?).  But no, I don't think that it (or any name) should be "off limits"

 

oliviasmom08

Personally, I'd steer away from it. If you and your DH find you really love it, maybe talk to the cousin and her husband and see what they think. But my first instinct is to pick another name. 

CutieBean79

Yes, Haley should be off limits.  Plus I think it's too close to Allie and you said in your other post that you call your DD that all the time.

Tammy05-26-07

I would simply tell them how much you love the name...and ask them if it would bother them if you use it.  Putting myself in their shoes...I would think it was really cool.

maltwin1

I wouldn't do it unless you would be naming her in honor of the deceased girl.

I also agree with what the PP said about Haley and Allie being way too close.

wife1014

First, your daughter is totally adorable!!!!

As for the name, if you are that close just talk to them.

krissyh21

What we think shouldn't matter, what your freiend thinks does. Talk to her about it and see what she thinks.

My cousin passed away a year before I got pregnant. My FIL, who also passed away, first name was the same as his, we were going to use his name as a first name, until I spoke to my aunt who told me it would be painful to see a little boy growing and calling him the same name as her son who died a tragic and unexpected death. We had to respct that and used it as a middle name instead.

serwin08

maltwin1:

I wouldn't do it unless you would be naming her in honor of the deceased girl.

This. My DH's best friend passed away almost a year ago and his cousin named her baby his name 4 months after he passed not honoring him but  just because they liked it and it was a big controversy. It probably would have been different if she would have went to the family and said i want to name my son in honor of him but she didnt and it was just a big mess.

jiffy-pop

I would think it would be "off limits" especially since they are family. I would use it as a mn and say that it is to "honor" the deceased girl.

katie922

I think it would be fine. If i were them, it wouldn't bother me. But i'm also very practical about names I don't think that anybody "owns" a name and i don't see a problem with cousins having the same name or whtever. shrug.

If you love the name, then use it. If you are worried, you could always mention it to them, or spell it differently so its not directly her name.

EastCoastBride

I agree- you need to talk to the cousin and DH about it.  Whether you're really doing it to honor her or not, their buy-in is what matters.

Your DH doesn't think it's a big deal, but they might.  You all really need to respect that.

Crispity

I wouldn't do it, or ask them about it, since it sounds like you'd be using it because you just like the name. They may say it's ok even if it's not, just because they don't want to tell you not to.  If it were me, it would bother me that someone close to me was using my dead sister's name, unless it was to honor her.

If it is to honor her, I would definitely ask them about it. They may want to name a future daughter after her themselves, or they may just not like the idea.