child support question — The Bump
Single Parents

child support question

Ok so my BF & I have talked about if we slipt this summer during our "trial seperation" and he thinks we should go to court to decide on child support which I dont think we would need to go to court at all.

But my question is, wouldnt we have to go through a custody battle first to decide who would need to pay child support? Or would u not need to?

I just dont want to have to go through the system if I dont have to.


My Blog


Re: child support question

  • In most states, custody/visitation and CS are 2 different issues.  You can have an order for CS and not have an order for visitation/custody.

    It would be in both yours and your child's father to have the court determine and track CS for you.  That way you are protected from getting too little b/c you feel it's fair or you want to be nice.  And he is protected from paying too much or being accused of not paying at all.


    I'm in PA and separent division in the court only handles CS. you dont' even see a judge you get a moderator they have a chart and based on this amoutn of income for this many children you get this amoutn of CS.  you pay what you owe.  very little haggling.  You do have to add in things like daycare/camp, school tution and thing that really goes over basic support.

    Image and video hosting by TinyPic
  • It is best to do it all legally that way it can't come and bite you in the ass.

    H and I came to agreement as far as visitation before we even met with a lawyer.

    We did everything outside of court in the lawyers office, and won't even have a court date.

    As for child support, you don't want to cut yourself short. There are a lot of things they take into consideration ie: health care, daycare etc.

    H ended up having to pay $50 more a month then our original agreement. Now that I'm working and paying $400 a month in childcare, he will be paying even more!

  • In my state CS is non-negotiable. It's based off of the total income for both parents, & then each parent is responsible for a percentage of that based on how much of the total income they're contributing (even if you're contributing nothing you'll be responsible for the percentage the courts say you can potentially make...if that makes sense to you). Even for a trial separation there has to be a parenting plan & CS order in place (in my state).

    If you're not going to go through lawyers or the courts for the separation, I would strongly suggest getting how much he's going to be paying you, when he's going to be paying you, how he's going to be paying you (check, cash, money order), plus visitation schedule in writing & having it notarized in case he doesn't pay you (or pays you less than you agreed on). Then it can't be him saying "I never agreed to that. We agreed to x amount."

    I would also look up CS calculators online to get a general idea of how much he *should* be paying. GL!
  • I don't blame BF at all.  Money that is given to you for CS can be considered a "gift" if it is not ordered through the state.  Then you can get back child support from him even if he was already paying it unofficially.

    It seems like he is not contesting that you would have primary custody of LO since he wants to pay CS to you.  It would really be in your best interest to get everything in writing now especially if you are on friendly terms.  In the future things may not be so amicable and then it will get expensive and complicated.

This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards