For those that had to wait to TTC

ashleybritton

I have baby fever and I have it bad.  We can?t start trying until September when I have a new job and my insurance kicks in (teachers, if it takes longer than that for your insurance to kick in please let me stay blissfully unaware).  We have wanted a baby for the past 3 years, but haven?t been in the right place to start trying.  I don?t know what happened, but this past weekend baby fever hit my like a ton of bricks.  I have cried twice ? I feel like I?m a completely different person.  Who the heck is this person and where is the sane rational version of myself?!

All that to say, I think I need to start doing things to help me feel like I?m preparing for a baby so it doesn?t feel so far away.  For those of you that had to wait to TTC, was there anything you did that helped?

rssnlvr

It's often helpful to have some projects to work on to keep your mind occupied while you're waiting. We painted our nursery before we even got pregnant. It gave me something to focus on while still feeling like we were making progress toward a baby.

GL--September will be here before you know it. 

shanwalk2

#1:  I feel ya.  I really really do.  I would loooove to start a family right now (or yesterday) as my body has been telling me I have been "ready" for the last 6 months or so.  It hasn't gotten easier, honestly. 

#2:  However, I may have the most savings minded DH on the planet.  He is not interested in TTC until we have 20% of the total cost of our "forever home" saved + 6 month emergency fund.  Although we won't be buying said house for 6-7 years... he knows once babies come around it will be harder to save like we are capable of right now, and he just wants to know it's there - and sit on it. 

I've been trying to be realistic with myself in regards to money and focusing on savings and our financial future.  Most days, this helps with my baby fever... other days - not as much.   Like rssn said - find an outlet to put your energy in that will be a step towards you end goal.  Our finances are our goal and the day we have that particular $ number in the bank - we're going full force towards the baby making.  (which we don't estimate will happen for about a year and a half. )

flymansWife

i feel for you. we've been married for over 4 years. i was ready for babies before we even got hitched. so i've been trying to keep the baby fever in check for years. but this year has been particularly tough on me though. the tears have become even more frequent i don't have any words of advice other than keep trying to focus on things you still get to do before kids change everything (i.e. i slept for 12 hours last night!)  

jkinslow

flymansWife:

i don't have any words of advice other than keep trying to focus on things you still get to do before kids change everything (i.e. i slept for 12 hours last night!)  

Ditto this!  DH and I were married for 7 years before we got pregnant.  Before we were trying, when I had baby fever, DH and I would take a spontaneous day trip/vacation or go drinking and stay out til 5 or other things that now I couldn't dream of without a lot of preparation.  I feel for you.  It is hard but have fun and don't forget to enjoy your married life before kids too.

lauraleither

We just started TTC.  We've been together five years and married for one.  We didn't want to start TTC until we were married, both out of college, had bought a house and had a "family vehicle".  That gave us several things to focus on until we got to that point.  We got married in March 09, finished Master's degree in August 09, bought a house in November 09 and a "family vehicle" in December 09.  That gave us baby steps to take to get to the point where we wanted to be. 

 Now that we are TTC it's not gotten much easier.  We've been trying since February and it's been going well, but we're still having to find things to keep us busy while we are trying.  We've begun landscaping and coming up with little projects around the house that more than anything are just to keep us busy.  Even though we just started TTC, I think until you actually are pregnant you stay in that frame of mind that you had prior to TTC because you're still not pregnant and there's still nothing to plan for yet. 

 We have bought books though. 

MrsHoyt

Do you have friends with babies?  I found that when I was baby crazed a good fix was to hang out with my friends and their babies.  I'd hold them for an hour, play with them, laugh and giggle, given lots of hugs and kisses and get my fix, and then feel a lot better until it reared up again in a couple of weeks. 

Hang in there! 

Faon

I've been there, and it took lots of prayer and patience. I didn't do so well with the patience part though and I cried too. It's not a good feeling when you've been ready to get going for so long. I did read Taking Charge of Your Fertility and learned a lot so I'd have that knowledge when it was time to TTC. Hopefully that cut some time off how long it took too.

What I would suggest now is reading books about labor coping techniques, the various stages of labor, interventions, choosing your birth attendant, etc. After I did get pregnant, I had much to learn and I don't think I began soon enough with all I hoped to learn about my options, labor coping skills, etc. I wish I would've started sooner so I had my questions all set when it was time to choose my birth attendant. It's been tricky learning so much later and trying to fit it with what I already have in place.  Hope that makes sense! I think it would feel good to have all that knowledge organized in advance..very empowering.

AustinMimi

We've been married for almost five years and I have been wanting to TTC for at least two years, if not more. I'm a graduate student and want to finish my dissertation before TTC, although I sometimes question my rationale because life on the other side of the Ph.D. is no less busy. Anyway, I keep myself occupied with two active dogs and house projects (other than writing). For me, it's better not to do anything baby-related to pass the time. I have tunnel vision and I know that if I did anything related to having kids, it would make me want them right now even more.

cia

AustinMimi:

We've been married for almost five years and I have been wanting to TTC for at least two years, if not more. I'm a graduate student and want to finish my dissertation before TTC, although I sometimes question my rationale because life on the other side of the Ph.D. is no less busy. Anyway, I keep myself occupied with two active dogs and house projects (other than writing). For me, it's better not to do anything baby-related to pass the time. I have tunnel vision and I know that if I did anything related to having kids, it would make me want them right now even more.

 

I'm in a similar boat to AustinMimi.

But here are the things I've done:

1) started my prenatal vitamins (they say it takes a year for some of the things to build up in your system)

2) volunteer in my church's nursery - it is a once a week thing that helps me get a "fix"

3) work on my dissertation like crazy so I can be done soon!