soooo DH started CIO with Bryan tonight :-( VENT

KoriBrett

Annnnd we got in a big fight about it. ?We're ok now, but dayum.

B has been a whiney miserable mess on & off for a month, partly ear infection partly molars partly it's just who he is some days. ?He has been having attachment issues BIG TIME with DH, refuses to be put to bed by me, wakes up a zillion times a night wanting only daddy, freaks out when put down in his crib, you name it.

Sam is "camping out" in her room tonight and while I was helping her get settled in and reading her a story, DH just stuck B in the crib and walked out for 30minutes. ?I went in, picked him up, gave him his paci back, held him for 5minutes and he was out, put him to bed, done. ?

We had a long talk about the fact that there are actually techniques for this and that 30min is too damn long if you ask me. ?I don't personally give a crap if he wakes up, and CIO goes against everything in my body. ?But DH has had it & is exhausted so we reached a middle ground and I didn't dropkick him. ?gah. ?I'm still pissed though.

Temp108743750006959

I think that both DH and I have screwed up how to handle sleep, eating, discipline (etc.) issues and sometimes it's just exhaustion or not knowing what the hell to do. We just try to find time to talk about a plan, put it into action, revise as needed. It can be so hard -- and I just have one kid!!

hopefulmom

Most likely he would have gone to sleep on  his own after another 30 minutes or so...and the following night it would have been 30 minutes tops and maybe a few minutes the 3rd night.  You going in after 30 minutes to give him his paci kind of messed it up.  I would suspect the reason he went to sleep after you held him for 5 minutes is because he was exhausted...so he probably would have went to sleep on his own within a few minutes as well.  I'm all for CIO and have been through it.  3 days tops and it's done but you have to be consistent (both parents need to be consistent).

amiamish

hopefulmom:

Most likely he would have gone to sleep on  his own after another 30 minutes or so...and the following night it would have been 30 minutes tops and maybe a few minutes the 3rd night.  You going in after 30 minutes to give him his paci kind of messed it up.  I would suspect the reason he went to sleep after you held him for 5 minutes is because he was exhausted...so he probably would have went to sleep on his own within a few minutes as well.  I'm all for CIO and have been through it.  3 days tops and it's done but you have to be consistent (both parents need to be consistent).

I do NOT agree. There's a good way to do this, and just plain walking away and never going back in to reassure him is not the right way. (IMO). I did the ferber thing, let him cry a few minutes, go back in lay him down, say nothing, and leave. Gradually extending the minutes between going in. It worked within 15ish minutes and the next night was easier. Kori- *hugs* I hope you guys can get on the same page and B gets passed this stage quickly.