If you are done having kids...

Purrrfect433

Do you get wistful and a little bit envious when others announce a pregnancy or have a new baby? I totally do! I had my tubes tied with this last pregnancy, because we just can't afford more children. I don't especially love pregnancy while pregnant, and post-partum is a cruel, cruel joke from Mother Nature. But there's something so special about finding out your pregnant and everything that follows(first ultrasound, big ultrasound, feeling kicks, going into labor, newborn babies etc) that makes me just a little BSC when I find out someone I know is expecting. I could totally see myself becoming Michelle Dugger(with better hair, tyvm) had I not closed down my baby-factory. Scary!

summerbrideDC

Yeah, I definitely feel envious still.  

We just decided this month to stop TTC, so I imagine I'll feel that way for awhile.  But focusing on the positive of not having to go through another pregnancy/c-section/post-partum makes it easier to deal with.

oparcm

Yes and I only have 1.  It is just not in the cards for me to have another. It really bothers me more now because dd is now asking for a sister. 

melmax

Purrrfect433:

Do you get wistful and a little bit envious when others announce a pregnancy or have a new baby? I totally do! I had my tubes tied with this last pregnancy, because we just can't afford more children. I don't especially love pregnancy while pregnant, and post-partum is a cruel, cruel joke from Mother Nature. But there's something so special about finding out your pregnant and everything that follows(first ultrasound, big ultrasound, feeling kicks, going into labor, newborn babies etc) that makes me just a little BSC when I find out someone I know is expecting. I could totally see myself becoming Michelle Dugger(with better hair, tyvm) had I not closed down my baby-factory. Scary!

 Wow. I could have written this post--minus the tubal, and maybe Michelle Duggar .  And while we could afford a third, MH is done after 2. I'm at peace with two, (but could have been talked into a third) but I can completely relate to all your feelings on this!!!!

JOEBunny

I love babies, but I only want two kids, so I am done.  I feel the same way though.  It is a special time. 

EMT

Yep!

emiliemadison

No!!! I mean, I reminisce about the experience and since I loved being pregnant, I remember how it felt and how much I enjoyed it. But I dont get envious or think about what it would be like to have another. We both feel complete with the two we have and I have zero desire or urge to have more.

Please dont take this the wrong way, because I mean nothing snarky or mean by this, but it sounds like you didnt WANT to be done having kids but got a tubal because of your current finances. I'm not saying that was wrong, but it might be something to talk to someone about if the wistful or slightly envious feelings become more intense. Sorry to spew that out there when your feelings are probably very mild, but I know someone who recently dealt with the same type of situation and talking to a counselor has helped her tremendously.

Ciarrai

Seriously bad day to post this.  We are 90+% sure we're done.  I got my IUD today and DH is getting a V when we're 100% sure.  But even reading this makes me all wishful and tear up.  So yes, emotionally I am having a lot of trouble with this.  Logically, this is so right for us and today was a rough day - girls were cranky and hard to get out to school, DS's 2-month appt with shots, me totally stressed with work, taxes, etc. - and I was so feeling done and happy with my decision.  Then I read this and think about the snuggly new baby stuff that DS is fast out growing and it kills me.  I guess I know in my head this is what's right for us and our family, but...  But there's still the but.

gracendantho26

I do get those feelings too but it's really my kids that keep me from getting to down about it. They actually don't want another kid in the family...I've asked them their feelings on the topic more than once. I also like the fact that we have plenty of money for them and can give them a certain level of attention and care that would be compromised with any new addition(s). I am very involved with school, sports etc. and honestly I might have lost steam had I had another one but with the two I have it's manageable to think about being involved in volunteering in their classes, at their school, with their sports etc. I know my DH really wanted to stop at two because he felt that as the youngest of four he didn't get a whole lot of attention. Which people just brush off as no big deal but I think kids do feel it when their parents poop out on parenting. And on a selfish side I am back in shape and feeling totally myself so it's nice to have myself back again. I used to struggle through the week but it's not like that at all anymore.

Purrrfect433

No offense taken! Actually, it's probably right on the money. I *do* regret it immensely. I even have dreams about it. I'm on Zoloft for PPD, so I figure it's just part of my PPD. It's just really complex. I get wistful and envious, but I honestly and truly don't want more children. I don't think my body could handle it, I know I couldn't handle four+ children emotionally. I guess it's just the AW in me that gets a little jealous. I feel the same way about bridal showers and I certainly don't want extra husbands;)

oparcm

Purrrfect433:

No offense taken! Actually, it's probably right on the money. I *do* regret it immensely. I even have dreams about it. I'm on Zoloft for PPD, so I figure it's just part of my PPD. It's just really complex. I get wistful and envious, but I honestly and truly don't want more children. I don't think my body could handle it, I know I couldn't handle four+ children emotionally. I guess it's just the AW in me that gets a little jealous. I feel the same way about bridal showers and I certainly don't want extra husbands;)

That last sentence made me snort!!! I watch Say Yes to the Dress and love watching them pick out their bridal dresses.  I didn't even do that when I got married.  I ordered it online.  So I understand.

K-I-S-S-I-N-G

You know whenever I feel this way I always try to remind myself that regardless of how many babies you have there will always be a "last" baby. I think that whether I had 1 or 10 children I would still mourn the fact that I was never going to have that experience again after the last. It is probably THE most significant experience we will go through in our lives as women so I think it is totally normal to feel sad about not doing it again. If money were not an option I am sure we would have 1 or 2 more but our decision to be done is the best for our family and our situation and I have to remind myself of that too. That is why I can't wait for nieces and nephew and hopefully someday grandkids!

GettinNervous

I really miss being PG, so I understand. I'm divorced and in my late 30s. I can't afford another one, and I don't have the energy. I knew right after #2 that I was done.

#1 was a preemie, so I did not get to experience things the way I had hoped (didn't even have the baby shower yet, long stay in hospital, NICU, wasn't ready to be done being PG!, etc.) With #2, I was so busy with #1 that I didn't get to enjoy it as much as I would have liked. #2 was born a little early also.

So for me, I think I just like being PG and all of the excitement of everything is what I really miss.

winery

No.

Not even a bit.

When I hold teeny babies, it's nice, but I'm happy to give them back and chase after my little men.

Don't get me wrong, I like the *idea* of a third kid and if I could have had one and not have to be pregnant or nurse, and he would be automatically 2 years old, then maybe.

But, no.  In fact, I see pregnant women and I think "Thank goodness that's not me.".

 

praline

I definitely feel unsure sometimes about not having a third.  I think well, there is only one time in my life I have to make the decision, and I can't go back on it (after a certain point.)

But I hate hate hate pregnancy!  I don't want to ever be pregnant again!  If we ever change our minds or win the lotto or something and I have a third I just don't know how I'd survive it.  I had so many bad ultrasounds the last time around that it stresses me out to even see an ultrasound machine.  We have a CD with lullabys on it and at the end there are some "soothing" white noise sounds...one is the fetal heart beat sound and I can't listen to it because I feel literally anxious/sick when I hear that sound.  I hate all of it...getting so big (I gained a ton of weight in pregnancy), the anxiety, the attention....  I think I actually get pre-partum depression, lol. 

So I don't get jealous when I see a pregnant person but I do feel wistful when I see families with three kids, and we are surrounded by them.

I'm sorry you regret your decison!  I hope with time you feel better about it.  Hugs!

shopgirl78

No one I know has recently announced a pregnancy and I still have a semi-newborn but I loved being pregnant (when I wasn't pregnant) and I love all the excitement, from BFP to L&D (of course this ends in the pp room, pp does suck @ss).  I see myself feeling this was at some point.   When I logged onto my computer at work when I returned Monday, I saw all these contraction master emails and it too me back...all the stuff dated in Dec...it was such an exciting time and now its (maternity leave) is over and so are the baby making days.  I had a tubal also.   I try to remind myself of all the reasons why we are done: finances, sanity, no more birth control, DH not wanting anymore (and his mind isn't changing!), not being able to travel (3 is pushing that) etc and focus on loving the family I do have.  KISSING brought up a good way to think about it too.  I am so sorry you fell a bit down about it.  Hugs!