I've had PPA since DS was about 3 weeks old. I started Zoloft 50 mg as prescribed by my OB for awhile and was still having major anxiety. I then started seeing a psych and he had me increase to 100 mg Zoloft per day about 4 weeks ago. That seemed to help tremendously and I had a couple good weeks and some days when I didn't feel any anxiety at all. Over the weekend, I started to feel more anxious again, so I called the psych and he recommended increasing to 150 mg. I started that last night and feel worse today. I called him but he'd left the office already. But, I think I'll just take 125 mg tonight and see how that goes.
I was hoping that once I started the meds, I would be 100% better. But, I've been on Zoloft for 6 weeks now and still have ups and downs. A lot of the downs have to do with guilt for feeling the way I felt when I was at my worst. I guess I need to forgive myself and let go of that guilt so that I can continue to feel better.
For those of you with PPD/PPA, does it just take awhile to get completely better? To feel completely happy and not anxious (or sad in the case of PPD)? I'm in therapy as well as taking the meds. I just want to feel better and be the best mom I can be for my son. Would love to hear others' experiences.
Thanks.
Re: When will this get better, really better?
Well, everyone has ups and downs, so I wouldn't expect to never feel anxious or sad (ie: I don't know that "completely happy" is a realistic expectation for anyone). It also sounds like while you still struggle with some anxiety you're feeling lots better than you were. I would try and remind yourself that your progress won't be completely linear--you should trend toward feeling better over time, but it's totally normal to have some bad days as well. I would be concerned in another month or so if you don't feel like you're continuing to improve.
I'm sorry that you are struggling so much. It can take a couple of weeks for the full effect of the medication to really take hold. If your doctor has prescribed 150mg, I would take it.
Your body is still going through a lot of changes. At about 2 months post partum, I hit a rough spot. I don't know if it was PMS or just a bump, but I spent every morning, for nearly 2 weeks, in bed, crying. (The timing was horrendous--it was when my DH was home, from deployment, on R&R, for 2 weeks. It sucked!) I had been on meds for over a month, but even with an increase, I just had to work through the rough time.
Bit by bit, things get and are better. I know it is hard when you are waiting to feel human/normal again. . . but don't beat yourself up over how you feel. Acknowledge how you feel. If you can do something to change your mood, do that, or try to do something that you and the baby enjoy. . . or call a friend to talk about it. But don't feel guilty about how you feel.
Hang in there! It will get better. For real.
)
Owen Matthew 11/1/2009 4lbs 10oz 16.5in
Born 5 weeks early by C/S | Severe Pre-Eclampsia
BFP #2 5/1/2011 | M/C @ 7 weeks | D&C 5/25/2011
TTC #2 | HSG Clear | SA 2% Morph otherwise great
3 failed Femara/TI cycles moving on to IUI
It's a GIRL!!