How to set rules for DCP

howa0155

I am very likely going back to work in a few weeks and my soon to be SIL has agreed to watch Nikolai full time (she SAH with her DD - my niece).  She is by no means a bad mom, but there are some things that I prefer she do differently with Nik.  For example, my niece doesn't really get into things (she is 14 months) so they leave the bathroom door open.  Nik gets into anything and everything he can - so I think it best to shut that door. 

How do I tell her things like this without sounding like a complete biotch?

Thanks

jennylove1084

LOL.  I think you just did a great job.  That Nikolai gets into everything so she probably wants to shut doors and put things away, etc.  That would do it for me.

laurenaac83

When my MIL watches DS I just bring it up in conversation so it does not sound like I am running off a list of do's and dont's with her. If we trust them with out LO's then sometimes we have to just trust them...

BeeLove

I think she'll probably figure it out!  

Honestly, I have learned that no one will care for my child like I would or do anything EXACTLY how I want them.  This is the compromise when allowing someone else to care for your child; so I think on MOST things, you'll have to be a little laid back.  It was hard for me at first but it is all coming together and working out.  I have zero rules for my DCP.  She has her whole house baby proofed and keeps it cleaner than me....she may not feed him at the same time I do or change him exactly like I do, but he is well cared for and that is all that matters.  It was so difficult for me to give up that "control" but since we have had no major issues, I am happy with the arrangement.

I hope you get there with your SIL ...I'm sure she will take great care of him! 

howa0155

BeeLove:

I think she'll probably figure it out!  

Honestly, I have learned that no one will care for my child like I would or do anything EXACTLY how I want them.  This is the compromise when allowing someone else to care for your child; so I think on MOST things, you'll have to be a little laid back.  It was hard for me at first but it is all coming together and working out.  I have zero rules for my DCP.  She has her whole house baby proofed and keeps it cleaner than me....she may not feed him at the same time I do or change him exactly like I do, but he is well cared for and that is all that matters.  It was so difficult for me to give up that "control" but since we have had no major issues, I am happy with the arrangement.

I hope you get there with your SIL ...I'm sure she will take great care of him! 

Very good point. Thank you!

Breezer80

BeeLove:

I think she'll probably figure it out!  

Honestly, I have learned that no one will care for my child like I would or do anything EXACTLY how I want them.  This is the compromise when allowing someone else to care for your child; so I think on MOST things, you'll have to be a little laid back.  It was hard for me at first but it is all coming together and working out.  I have zero rules for my DCP.  She has her whole house baby proofed and keeps it cleaner than me....she may not feed him at the same time I do or change him exactly like I do, but he is well cared for and that is all that matters.  It was so difficult for me to give up that "control" but since we have had no major issues, I am happy with the arrangement.

I hope you get there with your SIL ...I'm sure she will take great care of him! 

This, exactly