Ferber: week one in review

DCtoLowcountry

What a difference a week makes!

I had reached a detente with DS where I didn't want to nurse or rock him to sleep anymore. After I went back to work at 4 months, we fell into co-sleeping so that I could get more rest. I'm not knocking co-sleeping - I think there are a lot of benefits - but it made me nervous, and after a month or so I wanted DS back in the crib. After reading HSSHC (which to me reads like stereo instructions) I found Ferber's steps much easier to understand, so we decided to give it a try.

Night # 1 was a Friday. I think it helped that I felt calm and prepared. When DS was obviously tired, I put him down and he cried. I checked on him at 3 and 5 minutes, and he was asleep before the 10 minute check! It had worked with less than 20 minutes of crying! I knew the real test would be the middle-of-the-night wakings, but it was easy to tell if he was hungry or not (he had one meal, the rest were just nibbles where he was using me as a pacifier to get back to sleep, and for those I put him back down).

Nights # 2, 3, 4 and 5 he was asleep before the first check, less than 10 minutes of crying. After a week, we've gotten him back on a pattern of waking once to eat. I'd love STTN, but I think we'll have one waking for awhile given DS's eating habits.

I know Ferber's not for everyone but we needed more hours of continuous sleep. I didn't think I could handle hearing DS cry, but I agreed with Ferber that parents set limits for kids in other areas even if they cry. (And funny enough, I can handle the few minutes of crying better than DH). 

Just wanted to let others know in case they were thinking about Ferberizing. Overall, it was not nearly as bad as I expected, and I feel much better knowing the little guy can get to sleep without me.

 

mommmyz

I cannot tell you how much I needed to read this post this morning! We too have been in an awful sleep pattern since right around 4 months. He wakes SO often in the middle of the night and has become much harder to get back to sleep, even with nursing, well, to get back in his crib to be more precise! He will fall asleep nursing, but of course wakes up when I put him back in his crib. I think 2 of the wakings are still to eat, which is fine with me, but I also feel like all of us need more, better quality sleep.

 I always said I'd never do CIO but I really think HE needs more sleep and we've set up bad habits. I told DH last night(at 2am!)  "I think I'm ready to do Ferber at 6 months." I'm going to go buy the book today and start reading!

Thank You SO much for posting! 

Karenbird

Thanks for posting!  DS is nearly 6 months old, too, and we hit our wall a couple weeks back.  He must have heard me ordering Ferber from Amazon, because ever since I did that, he has started sleeping for 6 hours (midnight-6am) at a stretch. ;-)  I'm reading the book, though, and we are going to use it to keep things headed in the right direction.  HSHHC worked like a charm for DD, but I was at home with her when we did it.  That gave me a lot more opportunity to figure out what the heck he was saying, and even then it was difficult.  This time around, I just don't have the patience or time to parse out the action items from that book, so Ferber it is.   I hope things continue to improve for you!

eeclem

Yay! Glad it was a success. We had a very similiar experience a little while back. We're still doing one night feeding, but lately he has been pushing it back to  4ish (and today 5:30! Yay - I'm calling that STTN!). Of course, I'm going to jinx myself now and he'll be a hellion tonight.

I think in the next few weeks we're going to try to wean him off the one feeding by switching to a bottle and slowly reducing the amount. 

Baby4OT

I'm glad it went so well!! That was roughly how it went with my DD1. She cried longer the first night (about an hour), but after that it got much better. We've tried Ferber twice with DD2 and still she sleeps like crap. Any little thing sets us right back to square one with her. So, here we are, she's one now and she still nurses to sleep and is up 2-3x a night. SUCKS. I'm tempted to try it again with her, but it just hasn't worked yet even when we've been consistent with it. And the more she cries, the harder it is to be consistent, for me anyway. Those of you planning to try, do it before your child can pull to stand. For us, that's made it much harder this time around! She pulls up and stands at the end of her crib screaming and crying. When they can't stand yet, they at least sit/lie down and cry and then just roll over and go to sleep.

I don't want to be discouraging - it worked really well with DD1 for me! I'm at a loss for what to do with DD2 at this point

Sofka

we didn't Ferberize till DD was 9.5mo old (on advise of our pedi) and she was already standing and cruising at that point. That did make it harder, b/c she'd just cry and walk around her crib. But it did work w/n a week so there is hope. Ferber does say in his book if it doesn't work w/n a week, then you need to try something else.

tracy042206

Glad it went so well!  Yay for less than 20 min of crying!!