Ferber moms - can I get a pep talk please? :)

CollieJade

I've finally rid my brain of all my irrational fears about it, and we're starting tonight. I'm actually a little bit excited about it. After all my nay-saying, I feel pretty confident that it's the best thing for A and for our family.

I'm just a little nervous still!   I think the thing I'm most worried about (aside from how *I'll* handle it), is the fact that we're going straight from her in our bed to her in her own room and crib, where she's never spent ANY significant time at all. Tell me it's going to be okay. I'm just stressing about her all of a sudden being put into an unfamiliar environment without us.

MrsBeckO

Ack! I didn't call you back! Sorry. Will do very soon! 

userdeleted

It's going to be ok. I think that doing it all in one go is a really good idea - rather than prolonging the "transition" period you'll just get it over with quickly. I bet she'll amaze you with how quickly she figures out the new routine

Good luck! 

ACR

I've been thinking about you...and you'll be on my  mind this weekend. Good luck!

michelleaxo

::butting in since I am not technically a "Ferber" mom::

The first few nights will be the hardest, but if you guys can get through that, you all will be happier and ultimately sleep better at night. Find something to do to distract you. Good luck!

ebat

Good luck! 

ndluvsrk

What have I missed?! You are actually going to Ferber??!! I seem to recall a certain thread with an 'I will never ....' but ok, I'm done giving you a hard time.

I wish you the best of luck.

I am concerned about your statement though that she hasn't spent any significant time in her room. If you try it and it doesn't work, I would definitely spend some time trying to get her used to and enjoying time in her room. I think that is very important so she doesn't feel completely abandoned in an unfamiliar place.

Has she not been napping in there? Does she play in there at all? Does she get her bottle in there?

Again, good luck!

 

 

 

smb29

Its going to be okay.  Its totally normal to be nervous - who wants to hear their baby cry?  I was sure that M needed his night feedings and that is why he was still waking up.  It took all of 3 nights for him to show me how wrong I was.  She will adjust and so will you.

CollieJade

ndluvsrk:

What have I missed?! You are actually going to Ferber??!! I seem to recall a certain thread with an 'I will never ....' but ok, I'm done giving you a hard time.

I wish you the best of luck.

I am concerned about your statement though that she hasn't spent any significant time in her room. If you try it and it doesn't work, I would definitely spend some time trying to get her used to and enjoying time in her room. I think that is very important so she doesn't feel completely abandoned in an unfamiliar place.

Has she not been napping in there? Does she play in there at all? Does she get her bottle in there?

Again, good luck!

 

 

 

Haha, well in my own defense, I don't think I ever technically said "never!"  I believe I just said I didn't think it was going to be right for us.  I was initially against it mostly because I didn't think *I* could handle it. Boy was I wrong.  I'm pretty sure now that it's the only way for our little temperamental baby. 

And no, she hasn't had a bottle in there or anything, and no naps since she ONLY naps in the Beco carrier. The absolute most we've ever done in the nursery is play for a little while on the floor, and sometimes when I'm upstairs I'll stick her in her crib for 5 min while I run to the bathroom or something.  So she's been IN the crib, but never for more than 5 or 10 min and only every once in a while.  Do you think that's really a problem??  If it means we have to spend a week playing in there and getting bottles in there,  I'll take any excuse to delay this! lol

 

 

ndluvsrk

Yeah, it sucks all around. I don't think any of us really want to have to resort to it, but ..

We didn't do full-out Ferber, just Ferber-lite and mainly to teach them to self-soothe and it has seemed to work for us both times. But, I still nurse K2 every night when he wakes up between 10:30pm and 12am which is not following the Ferber method, but because of his weight issues, I'm not taking any risks. I guess you just figure out what works best for your family, right?

I'm not saying that A will most certainly have a problem with you trying this tonight. I don't know if she will or if she won't. But if she does, you might consider trying to get her more familiar with and accustomed to her room.

For us, we had our babes in the room until 7 months but we started napping them in their rooms at about 6 months to start the process of transition. And initially, they were not having it. So, we spent more and more time with them in their rooms, moved the glider up there, play time in there and once they were comfortable things were much easier. But A might not have any issue with it. You won't know until you try.

I hope it all goes well and keep us posted. 

Hugs,

~NDK~

AustinAggie

I think (hope) she'll surprise you with how well she takes to it.  And, I am also a fan of not prolonging the misery.  I would start spending more time in there throughout the day though - playtime, storytime, etc.

Good luck! 

Mrs.Froggianna

I know it is *so* hard to hear your baby cry, but for some that's the only method that gets the whole house some much needed sleep.  Three days from now when you're all STTN (or only up once, depending on how you're doing night feedings) you'll know you did the right thing.

You can do it!  And if worse comes to worse, give your DH the monitor and walk outside for a break.  FWIW I don't even remember how long it took Luke to figure out falling asleep on his own--that's how relatively painless it was.  But boy do I remember trying everything under the sun to avoid any type of CIO.

  We're here for ya!

CollieJade

Mrs.Froggianna:

I know it is *so* hard to hear your baby cry, but for some that's the only method that gets the whole house some much needed sleep.  Three days from now when you're all STTN (or only up once, depending on how you're doing night feedings) you'll know you did the right thing.

You can do it!  And if worse comes to worse, give your DH the monitor and walk outside for a break.  FWIW I don't even remember how long it took Luke to figure out falling asleep on his own--that's how relatively painless it was.  But boy do I remember trying everything under the sun to avoid any type of CIO.

  We're here for ya!

Thanks!  I'm going across the street to the neighbors for a glass or two of wine while DH handles the first part of the night!

Taytee

Whatever happens, you're a good person, a wonderful mother and one day this will all be a distant memory! I promise!

jkinslow

CollieJade:

Thanks!  I'm going across the street to the neighbors for a glass or two of wine while DH handles the first part of the night!

 

Great idea!  I had to do it by myself b/c DH works nights and it was really hard.  I was in tears, the dogs were pacing, really hard to do by yourself.  Kudos for your DH to handle it by himself.  He'll probably be a little broken up about it too.  That being said, it was the best thing for Adley!  She is a much happier baby now that she gets enough sleep. 

Emer

CollieJade:

And no, she hasn't had a bottle in there or anything, and no naps since she ONLY naps in the Beco carrier. The absolute most we've ever done in the nursery is play for a little while on the floor, and sometimes when I'm upstairs I'll stick her in her crib for 5 min while I run to the bathroom or something.  So she's been IN the crib, but never for more than 5 or 10 min and only every once in a while.  Do you think that's really a problem??  If it means we have to spend a week playing in there and getting bottles in there,  I'll take any excuse to delay this! lol

 

 

It seems like it would be a good idea to spend some time in there before you start.  If it takes time for her to get used to the room, you wouldn't want that interfering with the Ferber progress.  I don't know, just a thought.

brideonjuly8

CollieJade:

Mrs.Froggianna:

I know it is *so* hard to hear your baby cry, but for some that's the only method that gets the whole house some much needed sleep.  Three days from now when you're all STTN (or only up once, depending on how you're doing night feedings) you'll know you did the right thing.

You can do it!  And if worse comes to worse, give your DH the monitor and walk outside for a break.  FWIW I don't even remember how long it took Luke to figure out falling asleep on his own--that's how relatively painless it was.  But boy do I remember trying everything under the sun to avoid any type of CIO.

  We're here for ya!

Thanks!  I'm going across the street to the neighbors for a glass or two of wine while DH handles the first part of the night!

Good idea!  I hope it goes well tonight and let us know tomorrow how it all went down!

gotchagomo

Hi Collie--Ferber works GREAT!! My DD #1 went straight from our bed into her crib also--she was 8 months old. It worked in ONE NIGHT--I am not making that up--ONE NIGHT. I have never slept so well in my life--I still remember how great it was. She cried off and on for about 30 minutes that first night and was then out--the entire night. It was like we died and went to heaven!! I did read Ferber's book cover to cover before implementing this technique BTW. I plan on using the same technique with DD#2 when she is 5 or 6 months old. Do not feel guilty--it works like magic!! DD#1 is a great sleeper now.

FeistyFille

We did Ferber x2 one night, taking the boys from our bedroom into separate rooms upstairs.  The dread of doing it was much worse than the actually 'doing' of it, if you know what I mean.  It does suck, and it's hard and you're going to feel like a meanie.  But you will get sleep, your DH will get sleep and most importantly your baby will get sleep.  And the next day she will be just as happy and smiley as she always was.  Greatest. Thing. Ever.

CollieJade:

Haha, well in my own defense, I don't think I ever technically said "never!"  I believe I just said I didn't think it was going to be right for us.  

 

And totally worth eating those words. 

CollieJade

FeistyFille:

We did Ferber x2 one night, taking the boys from our bedroom into separate rooms upstairs.  The dread of doing it was much worse than the actually 'doing' of it, if you know what I mean.  It does suck, and it's hard and you're going to feel like a meanie.  But you will get sleep, your DH will get sleep and most importantly your baby will get sleep.  And the next day she will be just as happy and smiley as she always was.  Greatest. Thing. Ever.

CollieJade:

Haha, well in my own defense, I don't think I ever technically said "never!"  I believe I just said I didn't think it was going to be right for us.  

 

And totally worth eating those words. 

Um, I'd give that a resounding "YEP!"  'Cause she went down in less than 45 min, and is still down!!!!!!!  Hot damn!!

HSartteach

I am glad to hear that she is down and still counting.    I read this post earlier and didn't respond as I have no exp. with ferber.  But I was thinking about you and how it was going.

Sleep little A, Sleep!!!

userdeleted

CollieJade:

FeistyFille:

We did Ferber x2 one night, taking the boys from our bedroom into separate rooms upstairs.  The dread of doing it was much worse than the actually 'doing' of it, if you know what I mean.  It does suck, and it's hard and you're going to feel like a meanie.  But you will get sleep, your DH will get sleep and most importantly your baby will get sleep.  And the next day she will be just as happy and smiley as she always was.  Greatest. Thing. Ever.

CollieJade:

Haha, well in my own defense, I don't think I ever technically said "never!"  I believe I just said I didn't think it was going to be right for us.  

 

And totally worth eating those words. 

Um, I'd give that a resounding "YEP!"  'Cause she went down in less than 45 min, and is still down!!!!!!!  Hot damn!!

Yay!!!! I was actually thinking about paging you to ask how it was going, so I'm glad you posted this!

::crosses fingers that it sticks::

atlantic

YAY!  I'm following along as we get ready to make the transition to V's own room!