Sleep Help!

CaseyB15

Hi Everyone,

 I am a frequent lurker, but rarely post.  I value the discussions that go on here and would love any feedback.  I've gotten to a desperate point with sleep.  Please forgive the length of this post.

 DD was a fabulous sleeper for the first six months. We co-slept and she was sleeping 10-12 hours straight (occasionally waking for a diaper change and some nursing) by three months.  She is now 9 months and it has been going downhill for the past 3 months.  She started becoming very restless and waking frequently during the night.  We tried various methods of soothing her, but over time came to the conclusion that co-sleeping wasn't working for her and perhaps she needed her own sleep space.  It took a lot of work to get her into the crib.  She pretty much gets hysterical when put down, so we've been rocking her to sleep and then putting her down.  I'm not talking about the "before sleep fuss" she does to get to sleep.  She hyperventilates.  I tried CIO twice.  Once she went for an hour and 47 minutes (we didn't leave her to go it along, we tried various comforting techniques).  The second time she started banging her head on the crib after 20 minutes.  I was done.  When we rock her to sleep she'll sleep for 45-60 total before waking up. We try again.  Same thing happens.  We bring her into our bed, where she doesn't get enough sleep either.  We've tried inclining the crib, swaddling, sleep sack, boppy, everything else that has been recommended.  She's not sleeping for any length of time in the crib or in our bed or the co-sleeper. 

 Naps aren't any better.  She had never been a fan of being put down and napped in the swing or Moby when she was tiny.  Over time we have transitioned her into napping in the crib.  She's just too big for the swing and we want her to learn to sleep a bit more independently.  She resisted this for a long time, screaming hysterically every time we put her down anyplace flat.  Eventually, we learned to incline the crib and put her on her belly (which scared me, but she an roll onto it at this point, anyway).  She sleeps 30-40 minutes and is clearly tired when she wakes.

 We've read the "No Cry" Books, Ferber,  BabyWise, Happiest Baby.  Some we've rejected on principal, many techniques we've tried.  Friends have suggested everything from CIO to Reflux or Food Allergies.  I'm at a loss and feel so badly for DD who clearly needs more sleep than she's getting.  How do I help her?  Many, many thanks for listening. 

Casey

mrndaisy

Hang in there!  My intial reaction to everything you wrote is that DD my be reacting to a lack of structure.  You obviously want to do whatever it takes to help her sleep better, so i would consider what it may be like from her point of view in terms of any changes you make.  I am saying this bc i think that sometimes when people try "everything" what that really translates into is a lack of consistency and that may be why your LO isn't sleeping well, not bc of any particular technique, but bc she's just not sure what to expect.  Does that make sense?

DS used to nap in the swing and when he got too big i had to transition him to the crib and he would scream at me as if to say, "What the &SDFH!&$ are you doing mom?  Put me in the swing!"  But i knew he needed sleep and i knew it couldn't be in the swing, so i stuck with my gut and comforted him through it and after about three days, he didn't need my help as much because he knew what to expect.  I had to be as consistent with the new way as i was with the old.

My best advice would be to develop a routine (NOT a strict schedule) to your day so DD knows what to expect in regards to her entire day and this will eventually translate into better sleep all around.  It's nothing magical, but it was the best advice i ever got as a parent and it continues to help me through obstacles that come up along the way.  Try writing down what your typical day looks like and stick to a general order of events (don't worry too much about times).  For example, wake-up, diaper change, eat, play, diaper change, wind down with a story and some songs, nap, diaper, eat, take a walk, play, nap, etc.  Tell her what you are going to do next and read her cues to know what she is trying to tell you she needs as well. 

Your DD is lucky to have your loving help through her sleep troubles and you WILL get through it