Let's talk about Cry it Out...and/or STTN...really, any advice!

wheelenl

I never had to do any "sleep training" with DS #1. I did a rough hybrid of Babywise and Healthy Sleep Habits/HappyChild which worked great with him and by 14 weeks he was sleeping great through the night. (I also incorporated a lot of Happiest...on the Block.)

With this one, nothing works. He doesn't really want to be swaddled anymore. He hates being on his stomach. He hates routine and will sometimes take 2 hour naps, sometimes 30 minute.

He gets plenty to eat during the day, roughly 30 ounces or more. But then he wakes up and eats 8-10 more ounces over night, and then wakes up just for fun some more. I don't know if he is really hungry or just eats because I feed him after desperation to get him back to sleep.

He had started STTN and then stopped. Now he's back to 4 times a night. Yes, I realize he's almost 4 months and I understand this 4 month wakeful concept (even though #1 never went through it), but this has been going on for over a month, so when he just turned three months.

I can't do this anymore. I didn't sleep the last three months of my pregnancy, so I'm already going on 6 months of no sleep. DH can just sleep through it (which would be fine if I could, when LO is just talking and fussing, not screaming).

I'm thinking of trying CIO but my doctor A) doesn't have kids yet and basically isn't interested in helping babies STTN, so I don't know the rules/parameters.

Is four months too young?

Do you just do a few minutes a night and then build up to longer, or just rip off the band-aid?

TIA

 

Nell1217

I could have written this exact same post! Looking forward to what others say!

MrsF2007

Well there is the 4 month wakeful (which I personally don't buy? I think it's a growth spurt and/or going through developmental changes). At 4 months to the day, we did CIO. We did a nasty, unpopular version of true CIO (ripped off the band-aid, as you say) and in 3 days I had a 12.5 hour sleeping baby/night. This was backed by my pedi, btw. By 4 months, most babies are at a healthy enough weight that they don't need to do be eating in the middle of the night. We didn't look back and I am SO glad we didn't. We did everything at once, however?no pacifier, no swaddle, etc. We were feeding her a "dream feed" at 11:00 and from 4 to 5 months, weaned off of that (again, at our pedis rec). I would not have had it any other way.

ahappygilmore

Nell1217:

I could have written this exact same post! Looking forward to what others say!

Me too....I was just planning to post something similar!

Pennylane824

We did a modified Ferber at 4 months. M never got up in the middle of the night to eat after 6 weeks but getting her to actually go to sleep was sometimes a two hour process of rocking, singing, rocking, singing, soothing, etc. It was hell to get her to go to sleep.

It worked really well and she has had a few regressions here and there but it was great for us. I don't have any advice on the middle of the night feedings but I can tell you that I can now put M down in her bed awake and she goes to sleep for 12 hours. She does wake up in the middle of the night but 9 times out of 10 puts herself back to sleep in less than a minute.

maui24

Anytime after 15 weeks is ok to sleep train as long as you feel ok about it and feel that your LO is ready/showing signs.Also, I saw that you said your LO "hates routines"? Is it just that he seems to eat/sleep at different hours everyday? If so, it's not that he hates routines but that he is not on a routine. Following the same routine every night before bed will be important when you sleep train.

I think you should research a few methods and follow one that you and DH feel comfortable with and that fits with your lifestyle. Straight up CIO is not really a method of sleep training. Read up on Ferber, Weissbluth, No Cry Sleep Solution, etc and choose one and stick with it.

 

mavilabride

When DD was 3 months, we went through an entire month like this.  It was like the never ending growth spurt.  She was up every 1 to 2 hours at night which sucked having to go to work on no sleep.

My initial thought is that he'll get passed it.

He isn't 4 months yet so I wouldn't do CIO until then.

But I do want to say that consistency is key. If you set a routine tonight, that doesn't mean it's going to work tonight or even tomorrow night but you have to keep at it.  They are creatures of habits and switching it up all the time doesn't give them time to adjust.

I'm interested in hearing your routine.

wacissej2

We did the Sleepeasy Method (rented the DVD via Netflix) and it worked great for us. We were up 10+ times a night and now it's none or once. She's such a happier baby now. The DVD explained the process really well and answered all of our questions.

wheelenl

The bedtime routine is that he goes to bed between 6:30 and 7:30 (depending on when he woke up last). Bottle usually at 5:30 or 6, then bath, pajamas, sing a little, then put him in the crib.

Until recently, he would ONLY wake up to eat and would put himself back to sleep immediately afterward and sleep 12 hours.

With LO #1, I followed a very strict routine, but it wasn't by an hour, it was based on a clock of after so much time awake, he went to sleep. I do the same but sometimes this LO will wake up 45 min later, sometimes two hours later....

Also, I let LO tell me his routine to an extent, and then we replicated it. 

Maybe I need to try and stick one idea out longer, but the issue is that I work three days and don't have complete control, esp. the day he is with MIL.

foxlm22

wacissej2:

We did the Sleepeasy Method (rented the DVD via Netflix) and it worked great for us. We were up 10+ times a night and now it's none or once. She's such a happier baby now. The DVD explained the process really well and answered all of our questions.

 

Can you give a quick summary of what Sleepeasy is about?  I could have written this post as well and am so exhausted.

wacissej2

foxlm22:

wacissej2:

We did the Sleepeasy Method (rented the DVD via Netflix) and it worked great for us. We were up 10+ times a night and now it's none or once. She's such a happier baby now. The DVD explained the process really well and answered all of our questions.

 

Can you give a quick summary of what Sleepeasy is about?  I could have written this post as well and am so exhausted.

I think it's very similar to Ferber. You establish a solid bedtime routine and you let them CIO but check on them after 5-, 10- and 15-minute intervals. You get rid of the pacfier and swaddle too. Well, you can keep the pacifier if they know how to put it back in themselves. This was our biggest thing. The pacifier was falling out constantly and she screamed everytime it did. She couldn't put herself back to sleep without it. So we had to give her the chance to learn. The first night was the worst but now it's awesome. We lay her down drowsy but awake and she puts herself to sleep and usually STTN.

Cajun_gal

As hard as it is, I think 4 months is old enough for CIO.  That's when we'd start doing it if we needed to.  I'd just rip off the bandaid and do CIO.  I know some of my friends had to.  They'd go in and try to calm them by patting on the back, rubbing belly, giving paci, etc (no picking up) after 10 minutes, then again after 20 minutes, etc.  All have said they'd be asleep after the 2nd time if not sooner and then they learned to sleep through within a few days.  Good luck!  

PS - I love our pedi, but I don't take parenting advice from her.  I'm all for her guiding when he eats, giving vaccines, and treating illnesses.  But, I know it's my own decision how to get him to sleep, etc.  My pedi even told me I didn't need to talk to her if we decided to switch formulas.  Even though she didn't think he needed Alimentum, she told us to try it out if we felt we needed to.  We did, and his reflux, gas, everything was gone within 10 days.  Pedis don't always know what will work.

mavilabride

wheelenl:

The bedtime routine is that he goes to bed between 6:30 and 7:30 (depending on when he woke up last). Bottle usually at 5:30 or 6, then bath, pajamas, sing a little, then put him in the crib.

Until recently, he would ONLY wake up to eat and would put himself back to sleep immediately afterward and sleep 12 hours.

With LO #1, I followed a very strict routine, but it wasn't by an hour, it was based on a clock of after so much time awake, he went to sleep. I do the same but sometimes this LO will wake up 45 min later, sometimes two hours later....

Also, I let LO tell me his routine to an extent, and then we replicated it. 

Maybe I need to try and stick one idea out longer, but the issue is that I work three days and don't have complete control, esp. the day he is with MIL.

I understand as we don't have control over her day routine either.  She's with MIL all week and her naps are kind of all over the place.  But her bedtime routine is consistent always.

Could you maybe try doing bath, pjs, sing, then bottle, and crib?

suprchicy

DD does not sleep well at all.  I'm on 3 hr sleep right now, usually I get between 4 and 5 by the end of the night, but no more than 2 hr at a time.  Up till now I just have not been comfortable with CIO, and have tried the no-cry methods and it doesn't work for her night wakings (she goes down fine).  I have Ferber coming and as soon as I read up, we're sleep training. 

I will say that I'm glad I waited this long.  I don't think I could have done it younger.  The sleep deprivation has sucked big time since DH is almost useless after midnight and sleeps through all of it unless she is screaming bloody murder.  Definitely get a book and read up, especially since it most likely won't be a one-time deal, you'll probably have to retrain at some point.

anhella

MrsF2007:

Well there is the 4 month wakeful (which I personally don't buy? I think it's a growth spurt and/or going through developmental changes). At 4 months to the day, we did CIO. We did a nasty, unpopular version of true CIO (ripped off the band-aid, as you say) and in 3 days I had a 12.5 hour sleeping baby/night. This was backed by my pedi, btw. By 4 months, most babies are at a healthy enough weight that they don't need to do be eating in the middle of the night. We didn't look back and I am SO glad we didn't. We did everything at once, however?no pacifier, no swaddle, etc. We were feeding her a "dream feed" at 11:00 and from 4 to 5 months, weaned off of that (again, at our pedis rec). I would not have had it any other way.

I was under the impression that those were the reasons for the 4 month wakeful. 

spwspw

MrsF2007:

Well there is the 4 month wakeful (which I personally don't buy? I think it's a growth spurt and/or going through developmental changes). At 4 months to the day, we did CIO. We did a nasty, unpopular version of true CIO (ripped off the band-aid, as you say) and in 3 days I had a 12.5 hour sleeping baby/night. This was backed by my pedi, btw. By 4 months, most babies are at a healthy enough weight that they don't need to do be eating in the middle of the night. We didn't look back and I am SO glad we didn't. We did everything at once, however?no pacifier, no swaddle, etc. We were feeding her a "dream feed" at 11:00 and from 4 to 5 months, weaned off of that (again, at our pedis rec). I would not have had it any other way.

This.  Except we started the day before DD turned 4 months so we could start on a Friday.  And we did nap training at the same time. 

snickerdoodle27

4 months is not too young. We did it with dd the day she turned 4 mos! She had been sleeping in our room in the basinett but mostly our bed, and i was ready for her to be in her own room. So, we just did it. You have to be consisent. I got her ready for bed, and layed her down. She cried the first night for about an hour, but I kept going in to check on her, soothe her, trying my best not to pick her up. I did pick her up if she was really screaming or just couldn't settle down. Eventually she fell asleep.The 2nd night was easier, the 3rd easier than that. Now i can put her down drowsy and she falls to sleep on her own. What helped me feel better was that I knew she was dry, well fed, and comfortable. And I didnt' leave her to cry for hours on end, I kept going in to make sure she was still OK, and to help her settle down. Plus I knew in the long run this would be better for all of us. 4 months is actually a good age to start. If it doesn't work for you at first, give it another week or 2.

wheelenl

snickerdoodle27:

4 months is not too young. We did it with dd the day she turned 4 mos! She had been sleeping in our room in the basinett but mostly our bed, and i was ready for her to be in her own room. So, we just did it. You have to be consisent. I got her ready for bed, and layed her down. She cried the first night for about an hour, but I kept going in to check on her, soothe her, trying my best not to pick her up. I did pick her up if she was really screaming or just couldn't settle down. Eventually she fell asleep.The 2nd night was easier, the 3rd easier than that. Now i can put her down drowsy and she falls to sleep on her own. What helped me feel better was that I knew she was dry, well fed, and comfortable. And I didnt' leave her to cry for hours on end, I kept going in to make sure she was still OK, and to help her settle down. Plus I knew in the long run this would be better for all of us. 4 months is actually a good age to start. If it doesn't work for you at first, give it another week or 2.

Hmm...the thing is, he has no trouble falling asleep at night, it's just the waking up later.