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WDYT?

abbysmom1005abbysmom1005
in Austin Babies

I am emailing my niece's mom about taking her with us to Scarborough Faire this year.  We have taken her in the past years but it has always been on a weekend when she is with my bother.  I was talking to her mom last month and the topic came up.  My niece's mom told me that we could have her during one of her weekend's this year (my brother and hi wife have lans on the weekend SF falls and they have her).

So, I am emailing my niece's mom.  I want to make sure she knows that we will pay for everything for my niece and she does not need to worry about money.  I put in the email "we will of course cover her all her expensese while she is with us."  Then I thought maybe that could be taken offensively?

 I just do not want the possible expense of it to be a deterent for her.  We have always happily paid my niece's way for anything we do when she is with us.  But, her mom has no way of knowing that.  I do not want it to come across as condescending or offensive though like I think she does not have the money.  (saying that though if she thought she would have to pay I am pretty sure she would not send her)

WDYT?  Offensive?  Would you just not mention it and hope she realizes she does not need to worry about the cost?

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Re: WDYT?

  • Kim777Kim777
    Can you say something like "We will cover all of her expenses as we have in past years."? I'm thinking it would only be offensive if she thought you were offering because she doesn't have the money. If she knows that is what you always do I would not think it would be offensive at all.
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  • abbysmom1005abbysmom1005
    oh yeah, that wording is better. thanks!
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  • mcgeemcgee member
    Not offensive. If you don't mention it, I'd wonder (if it were me) if I needed to pay her way or if you were offering. I'd probably assume I'd have to pay her way because there's no nice way to say "So, are you footing the bill for this?" Stick out tongue
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  • AustinAggieAustinAggie

    I like Kim's suggestion.  You could also say, "this trip is always our treat and we enjoy taking her with us every year."

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  • joycojoyco

    I actually like AustinAggie's wording better than Kim's.  If I were easily offended, I'd read the "We'll pay, as we have the past 7 years" as "You jerk, you've made us pay for your own child for 7 years and have never offered to give us any money"...  That's, of course, taking it to the extreme, but if you want to say something about it, mention it's always a treat as AustinAggie said or don't say anything at all. 

     

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  • abbysmom1005abbysmom1005
    imagejoyco:

    I actually like AustinAggie's wording better than Kim's.  If I were easily offended, I'd read the "We'll pay, as we have the past 7 years" as "You jerk, you've made us pay for your own child for 7 years and have never offered to give us any money"...  That's, of course, taking it to the extreme, but if you want to say something about it, mention it's always a treat as AustinAggie said or don't say anything at all. 

     

    I get your point, but she would not read it that way because we have never taken my niece during her mom's time.  So, the worst way she could read it would be "Your ex (my brother) is a jerk and made us pay for your child..." which would not be a bad thing actually. Wink

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