WWND?

PMBridetobe

What would the Nesties do?

If someone constantly violates the rules and is given another chance with very specific items that they have to follow, in order to get something from you, would you give it to them if they did not follow the rules?

For example, Person A wants to go somewhere and in order to do that needs person b to take them.  Person B agrees but they must do X, X and C by midnight on X date.  X date comes and goes and the next day, they finally provide X, X, and C.  They followed most of the rules but not all of them.  They usually do this and there are never any repercussions adn they end up getting more and more.  Do you finally draw the line and say no more - You agreed to these rules, you wrote them up and you knew what they were. It is up to you to follow them, you didnt and now I will not do what I agreed to because you did not hold up your end of the deal OR would you go ahead and give in?

Taytee

If it's an honest mistake and not a purposeful circumventing of the rules/objectives, I might be inclined to be a little more flexible. If it was intentional and absolutely avoidable, consequences follow in some form.  

Since I'm guessing this is a parenting question, I think it is important to teach that deadlines are there for a reason and need to be adhered to.

PMBridetobe

Taytee:

If it's an honest mistake and not a purposeful circumventing of the rules/objectives, I might be inclined to be a little more flexible. If it was intentional and absolutely avoidable, consequences follow in some form.  

Since I'm guessing this is a parenting question, I think it is important to teach that deadlines are there for a reason and need to be adhered to.

The person was reminded to get things done by the deadline by an affected party and they said they would get to it when they wanted to.  Person knew the rules, affected person knows we follow the rules. 

Now how is that for riddles?

FireChiefsBride

Are we talking about an adult or a child?  And why is it so imperative XX and C be followed?  Is it a control thing or is it really something that's important that will have repercussions elsewhere?

amyliisa

PMBridetobe:

draw the line and say no more - You agreed to these rules, you wrote them up and you knew what they were. It is up to you to follow them, you didnt and now I will not do what I agreed to because you did not hold up your end of the deal

This (in general), particularly if you're referring to a "privelege" for Person A, and not a necessity or emergency, and especially if it is a habit of Person A's to take advantage of these types of situations and still expects Person B to help them with the privelege.  Every situation is different, which is why I said "in general", but I have a feeling you're referring to a younger person who is not going to learn about the consequences of not meeting deadlines in the real world, if he/she is not held accountable for them now. 

(Jeez, I'm really starting to sound like my father!)

PMBridetobe

We are talking an adult who doesn't have any consequences for not following thier actions.  They set up a plan, agreed to it and now refuse to follow it.  It is imperative that it be followed as this person has repeatedly not followed anything in the past or follows it when they want to.  When they follow their own time table, it causes problems in others lives.

Taytee

PMBridetobe:

When they follow their own time table, it causes problems in others lives.

Are you referring to my husband?? He'll come home early from work 2 days in a row then want to work late or on the weekend on a day that I expressly told him I had plans for weeks ago! But of course, it's work so I can't put my foot down and say he can't go =(

btrrcupbride

If it were my kids I am pretty flexible.
For example: I will often say we won't drive them/friends somewhere unless XYZ is complete.  They will have all week to do it but will legitimately be SWAMPED with school work and other commitments.  If they seriously did not have time to get XYZ accomplished I can understand that and will still help them.
Of course this means their rooms are never clean.  But they do have good grades and are kick @$$ cheerleaders.  And they still get a chance to have some normal kid time.  We spend so much time on their athletic commitments I sometimes feel like they miss out on a lot of social situations so we try to make sure they get well rounded time for all things.