WWYD? matron of honor/destination wedding w/twins

janjag

last night my cousin asked me to be matron of honor in her november wedding.  i am thrilled!  i don't have any siblings and she is my closest cousin. 

the logistics have my head swimming.  aside from the time/$$ commitment of just being MOH, she is thinking of getting married in cabo san lucas.  this is a 2hr flight for us.  wondering if it's crazy of me to think i can pull this off. 

anyone been in a wedding party with young twins? 

anyone travel to cabo or other safe mexico spots with LOs (ours will be about 18mos)?

i really hope she will change her mind, and get married in san diego.  she is about to ask 5 others to be bride's maids, 4 of whom have babies/young children.  dare i try to persuade her to have mercy on her bridal party???  it will be a huge expense, and travel w/kids, or leaving them at home with dh both sound awful 

she and her fiance are on their way to cabo this weekend for a vaca and to check it out for their wedding.

advice please!!!

ErinCB

If you're already spending the money for the 4 of you go to down there, would it be too much trouble to pay for a helper? Maybe your mom? Or a babysitter of somekind?

My friend was a nanny and a family did this with her for a Hawaii vacation. Basically they told her they'd pay her expenses down there and give her some free time if she would come on their vacation and babysit the kids when adult activities were going on. She didn't get paid aside from the vacation expenses, but free trip to Hawaii was good enough for  her!

So, maybe you could do something like that? 

I mean, if it were just vacation I'd say, "Go! Have fun!" but I know the duties that come w/ being in a wedding party can be very time consuming and not super toddler friendly. 

ErinCB

Oh, and FWIW--I'm MOH for my best friend's wedding in June. She lives in Florida and the wedding is there (I'm in Chicago). We're leaving all the kids w/ my mom for the weekend and DH and I are going. The twins will be 5 months old and my toddler will be 2 1/2.

robinsokj

I am MOH of a wedding that is mid June.  I should have these boys mid April.  Not the best timing.  My mom is going to the wedding and will be watching the boys while I do my duties.  Hopefully it isn't too much of a disaster. 

SouthSeasBride

I had a destination wedding (live in Chicago, wedding in FL) and those that brought their children along, also brought a nanny or grandparents to watch them. 

irish1114

I'm a bridesmaid in my SIL's wedding in November & she is only having it in a town 10 minutes away & the logistics had my head swimming!!  LOL.  I, personally, would not be in a destination wedding.  Way too expensive & stressful with the kids.

I finally agreed last month to let my kids be in the wedding (not the reception, they are going home with my dad). 

keg

I'm going to be MOH in my sister's wedding in May, so I'll let you know how it goes. ;-)  We live in GA and the wedding is in IN, so the traveling shouldn't be too bad (we can drive).  On the wedding day, DH will be mainly in charge of DDs, but I'm also thinking that one of my mom's good friends will also help some.  I'm also thinking about trying to find some local babysitters to help out (we know a couple people in the area), but I'm not sure how the logistics will work.  My biggest issue at the moment is trying to figure out how to handle the reception.  It's not at a hotel so I'm not sure how to handle the girls since the reception probably goes until 11 or so. 

Dec31stBride

I would say either go with the twins and bring someone to help (hey, at least you don't have to buy flights for the babies!) OR arrange for someone at home to watch them for a few days while you and DH go to Cabo and have a great time!

Oh, and do not advise your cousin to rethink her wedding location. It will only upset her. 

groovygrl

Ditto those who said not to talk to her about changing location. As a destination wedding bride, I have to say that I would have been pretty upset if anyone did that to me- I was SO excited to have that type of wedding, it was the perfect setting & type of wedding for us & the wedding was for US, not for our bridal party.  I know there were those who were not exactly pumped about the idea but in the end everyone said it was such a great time & they were so glad they came. However, we were 100% understanding of anyone not being able to make it & were not in the least bit offended. One of MH's sisters was not originally going to come b/c she had a baby a couple months earlier but she ended up coming without her kids (as did his other sibs) and they all had an awesome time. 

So I'd either figure out a helper down there or leave the kids at home w/ trusted relatives or whoever. You'll have a great time!!!!

GL! 

VCMCG

I'd say go and leave the kiddos with DH-especially if they are 18 months old, he should be able to handle them at that point.  Or, if you did not want to leave the kiddos, bring a nanny or grandmother along to watch the LO's while you have wedding activities to do. 

luvmagoldn

I was a bridesmaid in my friend's destination wedding when the boys were 13 months old.  DH and I traveled to Mexico (outside Cancun) and my parents came to stay with the boys.  It was a great excuse to go on a child free vacation!

One mistake I made though - I got there as close to the events as I could and left the day after so I could minimize the time away from home.  I really wished I had stayed longer to relax and enjoy the location. 

As for lobbying to change the location, don't do it.  Nothing good can come from that.  DH and were married in Italy and we invited everyone we wanted to invite knowing only a small number would come.  But we didn't have attendants either so our friends were not obligated.  I wish your cousin would have established the location first before asking people to be bridesmaids but if you two are that close you would probably go regardless right?  Just chalk it up to a great experience and enjoy!

carder0716

I don't know what I would do, as I have the same situation coming up. My BIL is getting married when the girls will be 9 months old. It will be an 8 hour drive, but we are still contemplating flying.

My parents will be making the drive (which will be 11 hours for them!). Our families have become very close, so they would come anyway. Since my husband is the best man and will be busy, I am glad they will be there to help. On the flip side, my sister is getting married in 1 month. My husband's parents will help some, but since my girls are not invited to the wedding, my mom is looking into hiring 2 adults from the church nursery to watch them during the ceremony.

Good luck! I hope we are just overthinking things!