best way to lend a hand to new MoM?

MagPie08

What did you find most helpful in the week(s) immediately after your babies' arrived? 

Friends of ours just had identical twins last week Thursday. She had a c-section and they brought the boys home on Sunday. 

My DH and I are dying to lend a hand, see how the family is doing, and of course meet the babies. But I find myself hesitating to contact them b/c I'm afraid of being a nuisance or adding stress to their days.

The mom & I briefly texted right after the babies arrived, then I called her on Sunday & left congratulatory voicemail and said I understood they were just getting home & settled, etc but that we're happy to help out if they need anything. 

What was the biggest help to you? And when? I know they have family in town helping them out the next two weeks. Should I cook up some yummy dinners and deliver them? Or did you find it most helpful to just be a left alone for a week or so to establish a routine w/your babies?

pea-kay

FOOD!!!

They probably want to be alone for a while (esp if mom is pumping or BFing) but food is always awesome. Once family is gone, see if they want help with laundry and that kind of thing. Or watching the babies so she can nap. 

You're a good friend!

ErinCB

Food is always helpful! People at my church set up,a schedule and for 2 weeks straight I didn't cook a single dinner. It was great!

Heather.D

You are an awesome friend!

 I agree with food. If you are thinking of bringing gifts, diapers are so practical and I appreciated that.  I would try to plan to lend a hand after her family leaves. usually the first few weeks aren't too bad. It is the a few weeks down the road when the babies are awake more. She might just want someone around to help hold a crying baby.

Temp159135562506975

some people really like being left alone.

Food is great- stopping by to bring something (that isn't pasta - we got SO much pasta and got sick of it fast)... and then leaving fast.

Yard work might be a nice help - if it's getting warmer where you are and they don't have a landscaper - i know it would have been helpful if someone came and mowed our lawn so DH didn't ahve to do it in those first few weeks... work on her garden if she has one, etc.  Some people like help with dishes/laundry- but my DH and I were not cool with people doing that kind of stuff for us inside.

RVAYogini

Bring dinners! Or bring something that can be put in the freezer until later. I also agree with the wait until family leaves. I could use someone right about now actually - wanna come over?

kimarino13

Bring meals over at night.  Don't ask.  Just bring them over.

One of my friends dropped off a pizza, some pasta, a big salad and some breadsticks and it fed us for days.  It was amazing.

ancjph

Again Food! Huge help. Also doing the dishes.

DenverGrl

Yes!  Food.  The best was a friend who brought frozen lasagna and some casseroles.  It was heaven.  We also had a friend come by and do dishes/bottles and cleaned up (baby laundry and vacuum).  She called and said "I want to come by and see you.  What day is good."  She met the babies and did the dishes and the folded clothes while we talked.  

janjag

pea-kay:

FOOD!!!

They probably want to be alone for a while (esp if mom is pumping or BFing) but food is always awesome. Once family is gone, see if they want help with laundry and that kind of thing. Or watching the babies so she can nap. 

You're a good friend!

this exactly!

i 2nd... good friend!

janjag

pea-kay:

FOOD!!!

They probably want to be alone for a while (esp if mom is pumping or BFing) but food is always awesome. Once family is gone, see if they want help with laundry and that kind of thing. Or watching the babies so she can nap. 

You're a good friend!

this exactly!

i 2nd... good friend!

jalaiaa

Here here on the food and I'll echo previous posts if they're comfortable having you do dishes/laundry that's really helpful. You can also offer to watch well fed babies while she naps. Those are things that were really nice for me. It was hard having a bunch of people over to just "hold the babies." You can ask "what can I do to help" and if they don't have an answer say, do you have laundry I can fold or dishes I can do? I had a hard time telling people to do work around my house but if they offered something specific it was easier for me to say yes.