What Layla went through disturbs me to my core

camrude

I think I just need to write this down somewhere because it's been weighing on me since I read her story a while back.

I believe in God. I do. But reading stories like Layla's really makes me question everything, including my faith. She died a painful death as her parents had to sit by and watch. That to me is a nightmare no parent should ever go through. Can you imagine? I try not to, but my mind wanders there and it makes me wonder why someone so little and so innocent would be put through that? The Christian in me says it's because God has a greater plan for her and her story needed to be told to, I don't know, find a cure or something? (this is what I am hoping)

The parent in me, the human in me, wonders WTF this has to happen to an innocent child? Why not cast a horrible disease on a lowly bastard who molests children?

And of course there are the what if that was my child/this can happen to anyone thoughts.

No real purpose to this post, other than to say I'm a little shaken up today.

Jaylea

It makes me flat out angry. It's just not fair. No child should have to suffer like that. And no parents should have to see thier child in such pain.

kittycarr

I started to not follow this story but ended it very quickly because just the thought of what she and her family is going though makes me very sick.  I think of her laying in a hospital bed in pain and I immediately start thinking of that being one of my own kids and how I would feel and I burst into tears. 

I so get exactly what you are saying.

Temp108743750006959

I am reading a book about a Polish woman (non-fiction) who helped 10 Jews hide in a general's villa during WWII. I often have those same thoughts when I read about her account and some of the people she saw die brutally.

I am not sure what I believe in, really. But I think part of me HAS to believe in reasons for crappy things or hope that in the end, goodness ensues. I don't know if that belief is related to God or Buddha or general goodness or what.

I was also upset today about that poor little girl and her family.

isabella22

I read just a small part of the blog yesterday when I heard about it.  It is so awful, beyond words and my ability to comprehend.

I have not idea 'why' anyone, especially children, have to go through this.

But I do know that sharing these stories make a difference to a lot of people.  People get inspired to donate to research to find a cure.

And it is stories like this, and the very unfortunate many many many other ones that I know of, that drive me to go to work every day, write grants, work late, and everything else to help do my part to find a cure or better and safer treatments for cancer.

SumnerBride

I haven't read her story because I'm choosing not to, but I think I get what it's about.

And, it would be things like this, or stories like these that confirm my belief that there is no God.  I do believe that things must happen for a reason, even if those reasons aren't known to us yet.  But to think that there might be a God up there looking down on what's going on and letting it happen is a very disturbing thought to me, so I choose to believe that He doesn't exist.

It can happen to anyone or anyone's kid, and it does happen.  I think maybe part of the lesson is to learn to not take a day for granted.  Nothing is guaranteed.

Mrs.Tony

It certainly makes you question it but the sad reality is her story is only one of many out there. Why does it have to happen to all the innocent children out there? It's very sad.  I so get what you are saying.

SurfBride4

I was "this" close to posting this same thing yesterday. I would probably classify myself as atheist for the most part, but that is mostly due to stories like Layla's. I just cannot wrap my brain around the pain & suffering people go through. To me, if God is so great, how could he ever let a child like Layla suffer like that...or her family? How about all the kids in Haiti or the teenager who was raped & killed while training for cross country near me last week? How about the kid who's mother locked her in her room for her entire life, left alone to sit in her own $hit & piss 24/7 for years until she was found....just throwing her the basics to keep her alive (water & maybe some rotten food). It baffles me. I look at people of faith in awe sometimes...that they are able to cling to that belief in times like those. On the other hand, I also look at them & think, "you are so naive". I don't want to start a religious debate, just something that has always been on my mind.

MrsStubbs

Can someone give me a not too detailed back story?

jerseygirly

I totally understand what you're saying.  So many questions come about when you see a tragedy such as this.  I have to agree with Isabella22.  Hearing these things makes me realize how precious life is.  Because of this, I try to be a better mother to my children and a better person overall because we never know when or how people will leave our lives.  I will go home and hug my boys even tighter than I did the day before and be thankful for what I have right here, right now, and tonight I'll pray that I get another day with them and that Layla's family (and other families going through such tragedies) can find peace.

Halo79RN

MrsStubbs:

Can someone give me a not too detailed back story?

Layla Grace is a 2 y/o who was diagnosed with a rare cancer sometime over the last year. She passed away this morning. Her parents have been blogging about their story.

camrude

MrsStubbs:

Can someone give me a not too detailed back story?

https://www.chattanoogan.com/articles/article_170528.asp

 

 

Pseudonim

Stories like this are heartbreaking and that is why I chose to raise money for pediatric cancer research this year. I am going to be shaving off all my hair at the annual St. Baldrick's event in my area. No kid should ever have to go through this. Period.

pincushions

SurfBride4:

I was "this" close to posting this same thing yesterday. I would probably classify myself as atheist for the most part, but that is mostly due to stories like Layla's. I just cannot wrap my brain around the pain & suffering people go through. To me, if God is so great, how could he ever let a child like Layla suffer like that...or her family? How about all the kids in Haiti or the teenager who was raped & killed while training for cross country near me last week? How about the kid who's mother locked her in her room for her entire life, left alone to sit in her own $hit & piss 24/7 for years until she was found....just throwing her the basics to keep her alive (water & maybe some rotten food). It baffles me. I look at people of faith in awe sometimes...that they are able to cling to that belief in times like those. On the other hand, I also look at them & think, "you are so naive". I don't want to start a religious debate, just something that has always been on my mind.

 this.

 I also do not want to start a religious debate. I wish that I could believe in God. I have tried. Over and over and over. 

 

CleoKitty

pincushions:

SurfBride4:

I was "this" close to posting this same thing yesterday. I would probably classify myself as atheist for the most part, but that is mostly due to stories like Layla's. I just cannot wrap my brain around the pain & suffering people go through. To me, if God is so great, how could he ever let a child like Layla suffer like that...or her family? How about all the kids in Haiti or the teenager who was raped & killed while training for cross country near me last week? How about the kid who's mother locked her in her room for her entire life, left alone to sit in her own $hit & piss 24/7 for years until she was found....just throwing her the basics to keep her alive (water & maybe some rotten food). It baffles me. I look at people of faith in awe sometimes...that they are able to cling to that belief in times like those. On the other hand, I also look at them & think, "you are so naive". I don't want to start a religious debate, just something that has always been on my mind.

 this.

 I also do not want to start a religious debate. I wish that I could believe in God. I have tried. Over and over and over. 

 

I absolutely agree with both of you. If anything, it's things like this that make me doubt even more. 

shouldbworkin

I think this is one of those things that can only be explained by science, not faith.  IMO, there's only so much G-d can do, sometimes science (i.e. tumor cells growing out of control) can't be controlled by anyone.  What G-d can do is create doctors and scientists who can learn how to prevent these sorts of things.  And, it makes me upset when faith gets in the way of that sort of progress (i.e. stem cell research).  Maybe G-d intended for those scientists to use stem cells so that babies like Layla wouldn't suffer and we're stopping them from serving their purpose?

I know this isn't a popular view with everyone and I mean no offense by it.  It's how I make sense of these things for myself.

breezee_bean

I can 100% understand.  I question my faith alot. We haven't been to church consistently in years. 

MH's coworker who lost their little girl who was 2.5, last year to a painful cancer, had it affirm her belief in God.  She said that she cannot believe that she will never see her DD again.  She needs to believe in heaven and a God.  Or that she would die knowing that she would never be able to hug and kiss her. 

goodheartedmommy

I just can't imagine believing this is the end--this is such an awful place, I want to believe there's more than just our 75 or less years here. I hope there's more on the other side of death, something better. I believe this is just a tiny part of the big picture. I have no reason why awful things would happen to good people--I can't rationalize it. But awful things make me cling to the hope that there's something bigger than me, something more than just this life. I WANT to believe in God, I WANT to believe in heaven, and while it may be naive or ignorant, I just don't question my own belief. It brings me a sense of peace about things. I can't imagine thinking "oh, I have 50 years on earth with my kids or family, and that's it." I want there to be more, and I will not entertain the idea that there's not. If I'm wrong, oh well--I won't know the difference at that point. 

eclaires

Honestly, stories like this don't impact my faith at all.  Maybe that makes me naive or stupid, but they just don't.

Yes, it's awful, but I'm able to separate in the sense that there is only so much God can do. I don't know - I look at the world around us, and how science has advanced and how so many things have changed, and I see God in that.  I don't think he can control everything - he can only give us the tools to make things better (IMO), and we have to work with that.  Cancer is horrifying.  Cancer in a child is even more horrifying, but I do like to think with a story like this that maybe people will donate money and will get closer to a cure.

And for the people who abuse children or commit crimes?  They have free will, you know.  They're obviously vile excuses for human beings, but it's likely circumstances and not God who was like, "oh hey I want a nutjob to have kids and then abuse them."  Or "hey I think we need some more raping going on, I'm going to make this guy into a rapist killer."  I just don't get the connection to God w/ those things.  I'm not going to say anything else on the subject b/c I have no interest in a religious debate - but that's how those things don't affect my faith.

black.kat

I know exactly what you are talking about.  My mom's friend's lost an infant shortly after birth due to food poison the mom ingested just before birth and it was the most unfair thing I think I had ever seen.

When you see people go through these types of things it can really test your faith... but I always remember something I saw on a movie when this sort of thing was the topic ("how could God do such a thing?") and the character was a father to a young child and he said that she can be walking right by his side, even holding his hand but she can still stumble and fall and get hurt... even though he is RIGHT at his side... it doesn't mean that he PLANNED it to happen to her or wanted it to happen to her, it just happened.... and that his how he saw God, that he doesn't want bad things to happen to us, but they do (that is what free will has given us) and that he is still there right at our sides to give comfort....

That story that I saw in the movie ALWAYS helps me when I see things happen that are so unfair and I want someone to blame when there is no one to blame... it gives me comfort...

But everyone sees things they way they see them...

mamarazzi

My 8-year-old cousin died from the same cancer.  It's horrible and awful and it makes no sense.  I'm having a really hard time with my faith lately after seeing all the sick and dying babies in the hospital.  I just don't understand.  I feel so, so terrible for Layla's parents.  My heart aches for them.

Aliliv

eclaires:

Honestly, stories like this don't impact my faith at all.  Maybe that makes me naive or stupid, but they just don't.

Yes, it's awful, but I'm able to separate in the sense that there is only so much God can do. I don't know - I look at the world around us, and how science has advanced and how so many things have changed, and I see God in that.  I don't think he can control everything - he can only give us the tools to make things better (IMO), and we have to work with that.  Cancer is horrifying.  Cancer in a child is even more horrifying, but I do like to think with a story like this that maybe people will donate money and will get closer to a cure.

And for the people who abuse children or commit crimes?  They have free will, you know.  They're obviously vile excuses for human beings, but it's likely circumstances and not God who was like, "oh hey I want a nutjob to have kids and then abuse them."  Or "hey I think we need some more raping going on, I'm going to make this guy into a rapist killer."  I just don't get the connection to God w/ those things.  I'm not going to say anything else on the subject b/c I have no interest in a religious debate - but that's how those things don't affect my faith.

This.  Exactly this.  Left to Tell is an excellent survivor's account of the Rwanda Genocide, if anyone is interested.

ETA: It really discusses how her faith grew during her ordeal.

jettagurl

eclaires:

Honestly, stories like this don't impact my faith at all.  Maybe that makes me naive or stupid, but they just don't.

Yes, it's awful, but I'm able to separate in the sense that there is only so much God can do. I don't know - I look at the world around us, and how science has advanced and how so many things have changed, and I see God in that.  I don't think he can control everything - he can only give us the tools to make things better (IMO), and we have to work with that.  Cancer is horrifying.  Cancer in a child is even more horrifying, but I do like to think with a story like this that maybe people will donate money and will get closer to a cure.

And for the people who abuse children or commit crimes?  They have free will, you know.  They're obviously vile excuses for human beings, but it's likely circumstances and not God who was like, "oh hey I want a nutjob to have kids and then abuse them."  Or "hey I think we need some more raping going on, I'm going to make this guy into a rapist killer."  I just don't get the connection to God w/ those things.  I'm not going to say anything else on the subject b/c I have no interest in a religious debate - but that's how those things don't affect my faith.

This.  God gives us the tools and knowledge to do what is right, but he can't MAKE us choose the right way.  Thats why people meditate and pray and fast over which path to take.  What really weighs on my heart when things happen like this....Layla, Cora (themcclenahans.blogspot.com/), and Emma (emmadunnam.blogspot.com/) is the amazing faith that the parents have in dealing with the horrible road in front of them.  If these parents can rely on their faith and God's grace and mercy, then why can't I?  When my son was born with a heart defect, I couldn't just hold him tight and hope it went away.  I had to trust the doctors knew what they were doing and the only way for me to trust total strangers like that was to trust that God knew what he was doing, that he put that surgeon who'd been doing this for 30 years and done like 15,000 surgeries in Ben's life.  Ben is alive today because of that.  

One of my favorite quotes (similar to what GHM is saying), "I'd rather spend my life believing that there is a heaven and a hell and find out there isn't than to spend my life not believing and find out that there is."